HELP my son is VERY overweight
 

My youngest son who is 10 going to be 11 this year is over weight and i dont know where to start i dont want to put him on a DIET and give him self esteem problems but i noticed the other day he eats alot and i think its cause hes bored (summer break) im not home during the day and i dont know where to start any advice PLEASE:?:
thanks
Michelle

My first question is who is with him during the day that would be in charge of his food intake & activities while you are working?

Your in charge, remove the bad food from the house so he cant eat it. Cook less at meals so he cant have seconds. Why not go for a bike ride, walk, or something together.

My sister will be 11 this year as well and she is over weight too. She is wearing some of the cloths that I wore at 16/17 (and I was over weight then too! they are bit big on her, but prob cuz she doesnt have a chest or hips yet, lol). Anyway I tried talking with her and telling her we should work at it togther simply for the fact that I need a shopping buddy but that didnt work. She is smiling down now tho, perhaps because she is growing taller. She still eats junk but mom said not as much as she used to.

Replace the bad snacks with good snacks (HEALTHY ONES) and make sure you are cooking healthy meals and that he is getting outside and playing. He shouldnt be sitting in front of the TV or computer. Can you put him in camp so that he isnt at home bored all day? I hope things get better. I would try to make imporvements in his life without telling him. It could definitely give him a complex.

hes at home with his older brother and sister and yes i just had to buy him a pair of shorts and were size 16 and snug he could barly button them , as for gettiing him active i walk everynight with him alot i do drag him out as much as i can, and dont cook alot of food??? i have to i feed a army every night and when he asks for 2nds isnt he hungry ??how can i deprive my son of food ?? i mean without hurting his feelings or breaking my heart?
sorry i really need help !!! i mean do i plan out his meals and snacks like i do mine ?? i mean what if he's still hungry? sorry im rambling but it's too the point where im scared for my sons health

He's probably old enough to stay home alone himself, and thus monitors his own food intake. Has he hit a growth spurt yet? He might shoot up in the near future and slim down. He might discover girls and that would motivate a change ... and then your worries lie elsewhere.

I'd recommend having no sugar or fatty/refined-carb snacks in the house. Don't completely eliminate them from his life, but tell him it's a family health initiative and it's easier for YOU to not have it in the house anymore. Keep plenty of healthier alternatives around (fruits, baked chips/salsa, sliced veggies) so he can still snack, but hopefully won't gain weight. Switch to non- or low-sugar breakfast cereals (with fiber), if you haven't done that already.

Riding bike, playing frisbee golf, going for walks, swimming, sports ... start incorporating exercise. I'd even say to consider getting rid of gaming consoles and encourage minimal TV watching.

Thank you i am trying and i will re-make my shopping list i was buying ALOT of boxed foods easy for him to micro i go home for lunch almost everyday so it might just work out do you have any ceral's names that are healthy with him knowing it.LOl sounds funny but if i can make those small changes i think it should help ... thank you ladies ya know i see people staring at him and it makes me so angry and my friends say well put him on a diet ...(rolling eyes) like its so easy to diet ecspecialy for a 10 year old , i mean damn im having a hard enough time with dieting

and one more thing my other 3 kids are very fit, so its not genatic

Get him busy in structured programs.......swimming lessons, camps etc....you will notice a difference immediately

L

I know I might totally get crap for this one - but I started giving my son an "allowance" for running with me. He is going to be 10 in a couple of months, and he was getting a little lazy and chubby. So, I started out by taking all of the snack foods that I used to have in the house - but left in chocolate chip low fat granola bars because he doesn't know the difference, I buy butter and salt free "diet" popcorn bags and put them in an old box that says "movie theater butter". Also, I did try to teach him too. I bought tons of fruits and veggies that he could snack on whenever he wanted, and basically told him that everyone in the house had to eat healthier so that I could stay on my diet.

He already gets an allowance for doing certain chores - the way I see it, I would still hand him money for movies, going out, etc., so I might as well teach him responsibility at the same time. Well, I told him that if he ran two laps around our pond (= 1 mile) he would get a dollar...and that if he wanted to make more money he could chose to add more laps.

Well, who would have thought, he lost about 15 lbs, he loves to run now (he brags to people about how many laps he can do), I could get a workout in with him, and it gave us some alone time together to talk.

But you know, it is hard at first, just like when an adult starts to try and re-learn healthy lifestyle choices. After a couple of weeks though, I don't think he remembered it any other way.

Hi. I saw your post and had to respond as I was an overweight child myself. I agree with the ladies here, do not buy the junk food so he isn't tempted to eat it. Also getting him involved in an activity he likes I think is the key. Don't force him to do it otherwise its not going to work.

But let him experience different types of activities, there is rock climbing (a lot places have those indoor rock climbing things), hiking, canoeing, bike riding (this one was my fav. as a child), jump roping, karate (my husband took it as a child and he said he loved it and is very good exercise), skating, etc, etc. Just trying to think of things he might like to try.

Basically it boils down to just getting him excited about something that he is going to WANT to do himself. Because forcing a child is never the way to go. (not saying you have or that anybody suggested it) I am just letting you know what worked for me.

My grandpa watched me when I was a kid a lot and he would take me on long walks in his pastures (he was a farmer) and I absolutely loved that! So its like I said, get him into something he is going to enjoy.

Also allow him a treat every now and then as well...............:)

:goodluck:!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you seen the show "Honey We're Killing the Kids" on Discovery Health Channel (or TLC?)? Anyway, the premise of the show is that a family's diet, exercise, television, family activities, and activities of the mom and dad together are evaluated. Based on that evaluation, THE WHOLE FAMILY changes. The television gets turned off and moved out of the kids' rooms. The garbage food is thrown out of the house because it's not good for anyone. The family is given assignments to limit tv time (which includes video games and computer time), establish bedtime routines, do things together as a family, cook healthy foods, etc.

This sounds like what you need.

My son is 11. If I left it up to him, he'd eat refined carbs and sugar all day long. I think he's old enough to stay home, but I have him in a home daycare situation for the summer because I know he would play computer games and eat crap all day. This way he plays kickball, rides bikes and swims all day with the other kids. Last night my son asked for a second hamburger (!!!). I told him he could have an apple if he was still hungry. If he's really hungry, I want him to eat, but I want him to consume reasonable calories and indulge in more healthy foods than unhealthy.

Even if you can't change where he is during the day, you can definitely change his eating habits by only providing healthy foods for him to eat--lots of fruit, vegetables for snacks, make his lunch for him as if you were packing a lunch for him to take somewhere, and prepare low fat/lean protein/healthy grain packed dinners when you get home.

Are they "fit" or "thin"? There's a big difference. And just because you have 3 skinny kids and one chubby one, doesn't mean the chubby one didn't get the short end of the genetic stick.

HART~~ ok i died laughing at the popcorn box cause he loves the butter stuff im soo gonna try that. and the money thing good idea i will start

Sassy~~ thank you for the words of encouragement i have tried to force him into things that didnt work at all he just refused to go and i know alot of it was the other kids making they're remarks about his weight

Kateful~~ i saw the ad on tv before i got totally pissed off at my kids (for never cleaning but alway's wanting, making mess' home work not done etc) and i shut my cable off and the internet and the call waiting and 3-way HA they are sooooo suffering.LOL well anyways i so wanted to see the show but couldnt i think i'll start slowly like today and maybe replace all the bad with good by this weekend like start small one thing then another ha they propably won't evnen notice
thank you ladies

Kate~~ yes you are right there is a difference they are skinny my oldest boy is fit but he weight lifts etc

I'm not sure why, but some of the things I'm reading here are scaring me. I grew up with a grandmother that strictly limited what I was allowed to eat, when I was allowed to eat it, and how I was allowed to eat it. I wasn't allowed to snack. I wasn't allowed to take food from the refrigerator. If I went out to eat with friends when we were in high school or over breaks from college, she would quiz them as to how much I ate, what I ate, etc. She did all the cooking, and we always had tons of fruit and vegetables in the house; we didn't have potato chips or junk... except occasionally, cookies. But even then, most of the baked stuff in the house was stuff she'd made with egg beaters, skim milk, etc. She would even search my room if she thought I'd brought something home or eaten something I shouldn't have. The result was that when I developed an endocrine disorder, I waited a good year and a half after I started rapidly (and I do mean rapidly, in less than 2 years I gained more than 150 pounds, while eating a low-fat fairly healthy diet and swimming at least once a week) gained weight. When the first four endocrinologists that I saw told me that I should join Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig (which I'd already been trying since high school: I was NEVER thin, but I wasn't badly over weight, and I was active; I walked or swam or played volleyball), I believed them. They told me there was nothing wrong with me except I ate too much. My primary care doctor disagreed and kept pushing me: I finally found a doctor that actually did the bloodwork (I had one that lied to me and my mother; he said he did the tests we asked for, but he only did a standard CBC which doesn't show most endocrine abnormalities.), and EVERY single hormone they tested for was abnormal. Cortisol, insulin, tesosterone, estrogen, progestrogen. All of them.
Now fast-forward 5 years: my grandmother has FINALLY accepted that my weight isn't entirely my fault, nor is my ability to lose weight. She's very proud of me being a lifeguard and of all the swimming I do.
So, just be very cautious with what you do.
:mouse:

I'm telling you if kids are kept busy.....out playing like we were all day except for meals....they are not fat. There are rare cases.......but the bottom line is kids are not active enough and have access to too many high calorie quick/fast foods. Get them busy and get back to good wholesome meals.

Liz

Anony~~i already had made an appt for his doc for blood work that was my first move
Liz~~I wish i could keep him busy like i said im at work all day long and we walk everynight except during this heat wave my city doesnt have many activities for kids they tore down the skating rink tore down our bowling alley and keep promising a boys and girls club but still nothing for our kids and teens have nothing to do

No junk food in the house. I grew up in a house with zero junk food and I NEVER suffered and I learned healthy eating habits.

For my birthday each year my mom would let me pick out a box of sugar cereal to eat on my birthday for breakfast. The rest of the box was thrown out. I looked forward to that each year and would plan which cereal I would try. And you know what???? I was disappointed each year. I was so used to non-sugar cereal that the sugar cereal tasted like @ss to me. The marketing drew me in year after year but the product was a consistent let-down.

As a wee one some of my favorite snacks were...

Turkey bologne wraped around a thin slice of cheddar
Celery with peanut butter
Plain popcorn
Fresh fruit
Carrot sticks & other veggies dipped in a mix of salsa & peanut butter (it may sound gross, but I dare you to try it...it's YUMMY...it's like a spicy thai peanut sauce).

Bottom line....If you don't keep the junk in the house your family won't eat junk.

I was also involved with dance lessons, tennis, swimming and martial arts as a kid. Now you don't have to enroll your son in all of these activities, but if he's involved in a few that will increase his calories burned and general fitness level.

Also, as a kid I rode my bike everywhere. I would much rather be out on my bike than inside watching TV or playing video games. Encourage outdoor activities as much as possible.

(707Goddess) Michelle - I too was made fun of to the extreme in school. So badly infact that I would "fake" being ill so I wouldn't have to go. Eventually my parents figured that out and talked to the school and tried to make the situation better but none of that really helped. Kids are going to do what they are going to do, mean and nasty as it is, its true. Eventually I learned that it was up to me to do something about it. Not saying let your son suffer alone, no. Do try to do what you can. Talk with him, let him know how special he is. (I'm sure you already do this, just saying what worked for me again) I found that if you have a strong family and friend bond that will be behind you regardless, that makes a big difference.

I wish your son the best of luck because I do understand what it feels like. Its tough and I would imagine even tougher now a days with how all the celebrities dress and all of that.

I think your doing the right thing by coming here and asking for help. That shows a lot of caring and support for your son.

:hug:

It has a lot to do with what's available and what you're teaching your son. Overall, I definitely agree with everyone's suggestions to get rid of the junk food and to start getting him to exercise. I would also suggest seeing a nutritionist, because putting children on diets is a little different from putting adults on them - children have specific nutritional needs, and if you want him to be really healthy you should focus on that, as well. Get him involved with cooking and shopping, so that he learns about healthy food. Hiding low-fat snacks in junk food boxes might work for now, but in the end it doesn't teach him anything, and when he's making food choices for himself one day he won't know the difference between healthy and unhealthy snacks. I didn't gain any of my weight until I left home, and I believe that's because we almost never had junk food in the house, ate tons of fruits and veggies and very healthy meals, and were active as a family. I've gone back to the way I ate when I lived with my parents in order to lose weight.
It won't be easy for him, but it's incredibly important that you teach your son about proper nutrition and the importance of exercise.

I have a problem with your thinking here.... I know exactly what my parents would say... they NEVER had any of those activities when they were growing up, but almost no one was fat because they were always finding things to do.
There is no excuse for you son to NOT be outside everyday. If it is too hot, go swimming! He can ride a bike, run around the neighborhood, play some baseball, and do things that boys do in the summer.
You should not rely on what activities are available. It is your responsibililty to make it more fun for him to be outside than to stay inside: This means getting rid of the computer, video games, TV, cable - whatever it is that he "enjoys" doing all day long inside, take it away. If he is bored inside, he WILL go outside. (This idea didn't work for me when I was that age because I would whine until the cows came home and my parents would always give in, which they shouldn't have).
What are his siblings doing this summer? Why doesn't he do some running around with them? Also, he is old enough - how about starting a Lawn Mowing service for the neighborhood, he could charge a small fee and get some money and exercise at the same time.
All I am saying is that there are plenty of things for a kid to do, but you should never rely on your town to provide activities, that is no excuse for not being active.

I was a very active child myself but still obese. I would swim every day during summer and I would run around and play with friends. I even joined a junior track team and even though I couldn't keep up, I will still run laps. I also had a bus pass and would take trips in which I would walk quite a bit and take the buss pass home. I think the key ingredient was food. My mom never really had too much junk in the house, but it didn't matter, I would eat and eat and eat. I would spend money on food, I would go to my friends house and eat.

I think a key ingredient is getting rid of the junk food from your own house. Another key ingredient is talking to your child about proper nutrition and eating. Stock up on fruits and veggies, lean meats and whole grain breads. Also try to get your child involved in activities outside the house.

If your kid likes video games, how about the dance dance revolution game? Kids seem to like it and it gets them exercising.

Our society is more obese now than it ever was and we are getting more obese every day. I really think food is the key. We introduce so much junk into our lives including fast food restaurants, candy and sodas. If you eliminate the bad food, your child will have a better chance of controlling his weight.

I have a bus pass, and I think I'm going to do this myself! What a good idea. :)

I found this quite helpful! Although my son never got too enthusiastic about the taste of spinach, I could always get him to eat it by talking about the health benefits of it.

Thank you ladies i knew i could come to you guys with this and get some good advice, i am taking all your comments very seriously and picking and probing to find what would work for my son, our lawn mower is broke but i think im gonna go buy a new one this weekend he's ALWAYS talking about doing that

Baseball, basketball, jump rope, hula hoop, Red Rover, tetherball, swinging, tree climbing, skating (on sidewalks), bike riding, playing badmitton over the back fence, volleyball, walking, hopscotch, hide and seek, pogo stick, walking on stilts that my granddad built for me were all things I did as a kid when I lived a mile from a town that had fewer than 300 people. There was no such thing as cable and computers then, so cartoons didn't last all day.

My kids would spend all day in front of the tv if I let them. I turn off the television and tell them to go outside. They jump on the trampoline, ride a skateboard around the porch, play basketball. I don't know where you live or your circumstances, but there are cheap resources for physical activities for almost every lifestyle.