Was it an Undercover Advance or Is he Just plain Crazy?
 

Ok, I need to vent.....
I have a male coworker that is pretty much the office class clown and hater of FAT women. At age 52, he should be in a seat somewhere working, but anyway.
He came to me and told me out of the blue that I have a crush on him. I was extremely confused and I''m sure my expression said a whole lot. I asked him why he would say such a thing and what had I done for him to think this. Of course, he has not been able to give me an answer yet. Then I told him that this was not the case and that if I in some way have led him to believe that I liked him then I apologize, but added that he is like, totally not my type. Well, he was angered and said what do you mean I'm not your type? And I repeated it and laughed at the same time. I think this upset him. So, by then I was totally upset and confused because i don't know where any of this was coming from. So rather than tell him BUG BE GONE, I entertained his nonsense further because I really wanted to know just how far he would go. He started telling me that I made comments and or responses in the past that suggested to him that I liked him.
I told him again, you have misinterpreted something, but just know that I don't like you. After work, I received 2 phone calls from other coworkers later and they both told me that he told them this. This really angered me because now he is spreading stuff. First, he is way too old for this kiddie foolishness, Second, he just ain't my type. Third, because of the nature of our jobs, we can ill afford the kind of mess that will blossom. Honestly, it is sad when you have to create rumors about yourself to get attention is almost psychotic, not to mention pathetic.
Fourth, the man just ain't my type. And besides I am happily married and he is married as well. The last thing I need is this and why is going around saying this? He has also added to the comment and yall know i don't do the BIG Girls and I felt I needed to nip this in the bud...Nip what??? There is nothing. And this big girl doesn't want him.
I was told by one of the ladies that she believed that he likes me. She also said that when she told him that since I told him that his thoughts weren't true, that he needs to move on and let it go because he can get into trouble, then he said well she is lying she does like me.
I responded that I didn't think he likes me and had never thought of it that way, but I am not interested in an office romance. I just feel that I have been put in an awkward position because we have to work closely together and now for the first time in my twenty year career history am uneasy about being in a room with this person because I don't know where this is coming from. I have resolved to be as professional as possible and not do lunch with anyone, etc. because obviously it can lead to issues like this.

Should I report him or should I ignore his ego? You know I hate to do this, but I don't understand this change in behavior.
Tell me, aside from trying to ignore this idiot (and he isn't even good looking is the sad part) what should I do?

Me? I'd talk to my boss...not any co-workers, just your boss. This guy is telling everyone that will listen his little tale and you only going to the boss will wiegh in your favor that your story is solid and this guy is a trouble maker. JMO...good luck with it. Some people are total jerks.:mad:

I agree, go to your boss before things get worse. This could be considered a form of harrassment on many levels. I would even go so far as to begin documenting everything - the date and time, who said it, etc. It may sound a little drastic, but sometimes jerks don't want to be ignored.

please get a pen and paper and write this all down or even just print your post. And write down everything the other two employees have said also. Log everything.
And yes going up to your boss and just saying you have an issue you need to talk about would be a good thing.

You're uncomfortable to go to work because someone made comments of peronal nature?! This is defiitely harrassment! I agree with what everyone else has said. Document everything and then go to your boss to talk it through in confidence. You may decide not to make a formal complaint but I should think a word from the boss would stop this creep in his tracks. He sounds like a pre-pubescent boy on the playground, for heaven's sake! Oh and let your husband know what's going on so there can be no misunderstandings later.

Best of luck!:hug:

I agree with everyone else. Document it. Go to your HR department or your boss. You do not have to put up with this at work. I work in HR; this foolishness would last about 1 minute where I work -- my boss would tear him a new one, and he would be crawling to you with his tail between his legs to apologize. I cannot stand people who act like the workplace is still the high school cafeteria. Not only does it make everyone uncomfortable, but it is illegal.

I agree... document this and go to your boss immediately. He could cause big problems for you. And yes, it is illegal.

Also, STOP discussing this with him entirely immediately!!! You are just feeding his strange ego. Also with coworkers... handle it with your boss and HR

thank you all so much for your advice. I have discussed it with my boss and he said he will address the issue today. He said he will do it in a way that will hopefully not be offensive or create too many hard feelings. Will keep you posted.
thanks

I have nothing to add, but I do have a question....

You weren't very clear on your post--Is this guy your type? :rofl::rofl::rofl:

No ma'am, he is not. I'm sorry I wasn't clear, I was venting at the time. After speaking with my boss about this it really seemed to be more of a hassle than anything. I will say they were prompt in investigating, but now EVERYBODY in the office has been involved and now the climate in the office is just miserable. So now I will just remain as neutral with everyone as possible. I mean I don't want to be viewed as anti-social, but now I have to think about people retailating, etc.

Well, you know what?. It is better to have an anti-social atmosphere than an atmosphere where you are being harrassed. I have worked in two kinds of places...one where people are allowed to get away with murder, (I actually had the supervisor sneak up behind me and kiss my neck!) and one where we are all "antisocial". I definitely prefer the antisocial. I am there to do my work and get my paycheck. I am not there to be social. And no matter where you work, you aren't either. Actually, you probably may think they are being antisocial, but that is what "professional" means.

And, Missame, you were not misunderstood, Jen415 was giving us all a chuckle!

Oh okay, having a slowww day (hahahahaha)...I get it now.

My work as some issues that I remember from school...The cool girls and the not so cool girls. The cool girls can say and do whatever they want. And get away with alot since one of them happens to be the supervisor. Together they are mean,,,and make snide remarks thinking they are funny about others in the room. I am not one of them cause they have learned that I am meaner then they are. So I am left alone. Seperate them and they are nice people... Ive come to not having any respect for my boss (supervisor) and have since started job hunting. There are other things going on that has made me not want to be there. But just waiting for their next attack is very nerve wracking.

Angelia, do those supervisors have a supervisor? I may be repeating myself, but THIS SH*T is not allowed to go on in the workplace! Can you go to their supervisors?

Heck, I just noticed that you are in Canada...are the labor laws at all similar there as they are here in podunk, pennsylvania?

And so it continues....it is sad that people are so insecure that they have to behave in such a way. What is so sad about them is that even though you say they are nice people individually, collectively they are poison. What do these people teach their children at home????? They breed a new generation and then unleash them on the world.