worried about sister
 

ok, well I am not really sure how to ask this so I'll try my best.

I am worried about my sister. She is overweight. She is 5'4, and a size 18/19. I love her dearly! She doesn't seem to want to do much about it. However, when she was going to the gym with me she seemed to have loved it! I have since moved away from home, and she has stopped going. She does not eat healthy at all, but she does like healthy food. My mom insists on buying her the unhealthy stuff cuz my sister gets kind of snippy when my mom tries to buy healthy versions...my sister just isn't very adverturous or willing to try new things. She likes what she likes and what she is comfortable with...

She doesn't go out much, she has not been to the doctors for a very very long time, i think something like 10 years.

She never complians about her weight and when we go shopping she indicates that she is very aware of her size...
Sometimes she seems happy to be that way she is, but then sometimes she just seems soo unhappy.

I am worried about her health, I have worried about it ever since I was diagnosed with cancer 10 years ago. I have had health problems and have always been active, but yet I still got sick. I really don't want her to have to go through i have....
what can i do? She gets defensive if anyone mentions anything about her weight, or eating habits (rightfully so, I hated it too). I try to talk to her in a round about way, I never am harsh... I am just so worried!

I was the fat sister. I know my sister always cared about me, but never did she mention my weight. She did talk about exercise and healthy food she was cooking, but never did she nag or even encourage me to do something about my weight.

I was 32 before I seriously tackled my weight issues. It was when I was ready. No one told me, no one even mentioned my weight, all my friends and my family were stunned when I just decided to do it. I can't even explain what made me do it at this time, it was just that I heard a voice in my head say "you are going to have the most miserable old age if you're fat"

Love her, listen to her, be there for her. But don't nag, you'll only get her to stick her heels in. Perhaps in her head she is kinda thinking "it doesn't matter if I am heavy or not, you can get sick whatever your weight and lifestyle". I know that's how I felt when my (very thin) dad got diabetes. It wasn't until my slightly overweight mother got it that I decided it was time to at least consider my weight problem. And even then it took me another 18 months to do something about it!

Kykaree is right, weight loss (and caring about your health in general) is something you have to decide for yourself, and I know from experience that it just won't work unless you are 100% committed to it. If she comes to you about it, it's great that you're so caring and willing to help, but she'll just get defensive if people keep on her about it.

It's true that it's something your sister has to realize for herself - I'm sure we all knew we had a weight problem for quite a while before we actually did anything about it. The important thing is making sure she knows that you're there for her when she's ready to start making changes, and that you love her and support her all the way - you sound like a fantastic sister, and she's lucky to have you in her family! It sounds like she was doing better when you were living at home with her - maybe you could start having her over one night a week and make healthy and tasty meals, and then go for a walk after dinner... but make it more about spending time together - hopefully she'll start to realize that being healthy isn't all that bad after all?!

Hey all!
thanks for the advice I really appreciate it.

i love me sister dearly an just want her to stay healthy. I sort of knew that you all would give me the responses that you did. I also wanted to know if there was something I could do. But its true. Looking at my own choice to get and stay healthy, I MADE the CHOICE no one else. Its just so hard to sit back and watch ( I guess that is probably what she felt when I was going through treatment).

I would totally have her over for healhy meals and stuff but I am no longer in the same city!!! it sucks that way!

I have told her that if she ever wants me to make her a workout program or anything that she can just ask, cuz I know she loved the gym when we went, we always had soo much fun!