Originally Posted by liz321:
Silly question? How do you meet people on line?

L

I met all of mine in chat rooms. I signed up for a free dating site once, but it never amounted to anything more than guys who could barely speak English contacting me from like Africa (even though I said what area I lived in and that I wanted someone within a certain radius), so that was a bit of a bust :dizzy:

I don't get the myspace thing. I keep in touch with people I already knew in real life on there, but I've never actually met anyone new through it.

But even message boards--if there were a few more eligible bachelors here on 3FC, I'm sure they'd get a bit of attention ;)

I met my husband through a dating service. He was the second guy that the service set me up with. The first one was nice, but he was into witchcraft, which is definitely not my scene. I did not tell my husband that I was overweight before we met, but he has always commented that our first date was so comfortable for him and he knew from the start that I was the girl for him. Twelve years later, we are still very happy and raising an awesome family :)

Just be honest, it is better to be loved for who you are.

Wow. I think you guys are waaaayyy braver than me. I don't think I've ever had a 'real' relationship before and the fact that I'm obese has just stalled my 'potential' lovelife further.

When I was a teenager, my Mother let me know how unattractive I was on a daily basis. I wasn't even obese then. But she pretty much used to tell me that no boy would ever be interested in me. So, I never got the 'talk' from her, or the relationship advice. The first guy to show even the remotest bit of interest in me was of course no good, but I stayed with him to prove my mother wrong. I fooled myself into thinking that if I gave him all of myself - be perfect - he would be able to love me despite the fat...I was totally misguided - compared to now I was of supermodel proportions!

I ended up pregnant and alone with my Mother giving me the 'I-told-you-so' routine. So, single parenthood, lonliness, inevitable depression etc. was where the confort eating/bingeing came in. Eight years later and I'm almost 210lbs heavier. The weirdest thing is that now, my Mother says 'You WERE such a beautiful teenager'. Go figure.

I vowed from the moment my son was born that I would give him the best childhood I could...Love him the way I wished I had been - unconditionally and it's what he deserves. He's a good kid. But lately, I've been thinking how much I would love to have a decent relationship. I've learned so much over the years and I've made progress with the weight loss...but where does the self-esteem and confidence to pursue 'Love' come from? Also, my son doesn't have a relationship with his father (his father's choice) - how exactly does one even consider dating as a single parent? This online thing seems to be one of the ways to go, but as I said...I don't think I've reached that level of bravery!

Sorry, bit of a soap opera!

Originally Posted by Amy Blue:
So, I never got the 'talk' from her, or the relationship advice.

Ha, I never got any sort of serious sex or relationship talks from my parents, either. Ever. Everything I know, I learned from movies, kids ar school, my own experiences, that sort of thing. My parents are still married (over 30 years) and have always been good parents, but my mother and I never really saw eye-to-eye. Growing up, I fought with her constantly until I was finally old enough to do more outside of home (school activities, jobs, going out with friends...). My father is very much a stereotypical man in that anything "touchy feely" was NOT his department. The closest thing I ever got to a sex talk or advice or anything was when I was 16 and had to have emergency surgery to remove a 10-inch ovarian cyst and the ovary it had strangled. My doctor put me on birth control pills as a means of cyst prevention, and my father's response to that was, "Now, just because you're on these pills doesn't mean you can go sleeping around." Excuse me?! I was 16, still a virgin, and obese--did he really think some pills in a little pink box were going to change me? So yeah, I was never "guided" in that way by anyone. I just sort of figured things out as I went along, and now I'm 23 and in my first real relationship.

I think that it's so strange how parents can really underestimate their children's feelings and extremely fragile psyche? I'll bet your father doesn't remember he said that to you and how hurtful it must've been. :hug: