Yeah I suppose I understand why people would feel uncomfortable...just not sure about the offended part. I said "this post better not be deleted" because I'm sick of people who can't handle it when someone states her opinion, then goes and tells someone that they don't want to see it. I obviously didn't want to see what EZMONEY had to say, but I'm not going to tell someone to delete it because I didn't like what she said! :) LOL

Hi Danzer. I'm sorry your post was deleted. I agree with you that it shouldn't have been. I didn't reply to the initial thread because I thought your question had been sufficiently answered. I'm glad things worked out for you.

Danzer - I don't think your post/question was offensive but the language you used to describe your dilema was too explicit. A lot of different people read these forums including young girls - so bearing that in mind all of us need to be respectful of others and not use inappropriate language, swearing or name calling.

I can totally understand your worry over being pregnant - it is a very scary and overwhelming situation and I'm glad things turned out okay for you.

I'd have to agree. I did see the original post and some of the language used in it would have been uncomfortable for some people. Not everyone in this world is as casual and relaxed about discussing graphic details as others of us are. I was not offended in the least, as you weren't purposely being crude, but the details you had to get in to to ask your question might have turned some people off a bit.

I wouldn't take it personally, Danzer. It wasn't meant to be a reflection of YOU that the post was deleted. Again, people weren't saying what you did or what your problem was, was offensive - just the intimate details. Please don't view that as unsupportive.

I also don't think your lack of knowledge in that area is an indication of immaturity. You were underinformed and super self-conscious and worried, and I'm sure a lot of women can remember back to their first time and sympathize. I hope some people were able to comfort you with their words, and I'm glad that your TOM arrived to clear up all worries.

Hi Heather -

I was not offended by your post, but there are some younger people who post on here and some of the info was probably a little too much for them (the belly button part), but I don't know how you could have worded the question any differently to be able to find out the answer to your question. I would guess that there are probably some parents whose teenagers post on here and they may have asked for the post to be deleted just because it was TMI for their child. And there might have been some adults who just don't like to discuss things that graphically. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong and you shouldn't be offended. The moderators have to try to keep everyone happy, and that's not always possible to do, so I am sure it wasn't anything against you or your post, but just trying to keep everyone happy, since this site is for everyone.

I just wanted to respond about the concept of people having a "right" to post here and voice their opinions. I consider this place like a party being hosted by 3 fat chicks. No one here has a "right" to post anything that the hosts don't want posted. Just as if I invite someone to my home who does something I don't want them to do in my home. I'll ask them to leave. They don't have the "right" to do what they want in my home.

Well let's not get too rigid here. Danzer didn't burst down someone's front door and put a lampshade on her head and dance around drunk on someone's table at their tea party. From what I can see her main complaint isn't so much that she has a "right" to say whatever she wants...but rather she felt hurt that people would be judgmental of her question. (I have to agree that the argument that it was "off topic" is ridiculous, and yes, General Chatter IS for off-topic stuff.)

We're just trying to explain why people would find some language offensive and as the above person stated, it's hard to please everybody all of the time.

I have no idea who complained or what they said, but I would be surprised if it was because of her choice to have premarital 'relations'. I think it was just the graphic descriptions necessary to ask her question.

Conversation Butter Inner
 

Hello,

Even though I just walked in on this now, and didn't see the original post in question, I must say that I can empathize. Danzer's first post today was probably one written out of confusion, frustration and hurt, and emotions can influence word choices. Also, it's difficult to really get the gist of what someone is saying through text on a screen with out the benefits of facial expressions and body language.

This shouldn't be an argument about what Danzer should or should not have done, it's in the past and doesn't matter. We can't even post something saying " May be Offensive" as much because basically everything can be seen as offensive.

Some may say that I have no business posting this because I didn't see the original post, but I don't think that matters. What matters is that she came here for a soft place to fall, to get advice, and it came back to bite her when she had put herself out there.

Where am I going with this? There is no such thing as politically correct, no such thing as completely non offensive. We just need to have an open mind that there are so many different people on these boards, and if we have a problem with someone, to pm them and deal with the individual rather than going over thier head.

It reminds me of if you do somethign at work and instead of resolving the issue personally, they go through channels over your head when you were willing to deal with it. It's also very easy to be a little harsher on boards then in real life. Here we forget that there is a person and a story behind every screen name.

I step down from my soap box now..