Sorry if this is an inappropriate forum for the following vent, but I'm home alone so there's no one to talk to, and I just am upset and I need to get this off my chest.
Yesterday was a phenomenal day of skiing and sunshine. I had been studying for my test (today) for about a week, and I pretty much had it all figured out. When I got home last night, people started calling me, asking me to come to school and help them understand some things. This was at 10PM. I reluctantly agreed, thinking I'd be there for 30 minutes, max. While I was there studying with one other person, another friend called and needed me to explain something to her. I'd been generous with information already, forwarding out old copies of exams, etc... so, she came and found me studying with another friend and brought an entire crew of people with her to get my explanation. They were not, however, ablet o explain much of anything to me. I kept saying that I needed to go because I wanted to re-watch three lectures when I got home, but no one seemed to be bothered with that. So, in the end, I didn't get to watch the lectures because I didn't get home until near 1AM. And while I was studying for the test this morning, the same friend came over and said, "could you explain this to me...." so i did. a few minutes later, when they handed the test out, it was almost an exact duplicate of a test that had been done in a prior year, so most of the questions were very familiar. BUT, there was one question I couldn't understand, and of course, my friends, who had been asking me for help all along, figured it out. so, long story short---they score 100% (likely) and I get less than a B.
UGH. I am so angry with myself for agreeing to stick around and help everyone else out when I knew that I had work to do on my own! I always do this. It's like I can't bear to say no to someone for fear of hurting their feelings or upsetting them, to the detriment of my own well-being. I am also angry at myself for being resentful over this whole mess. I realize it's not my friends' fault that I didn't get it right, it's my own fault. But I am angry with my friends.
What else... I got barely 4 hours of sleep last night, so I'm cranky. I'm frustrated with my lack of progress with my diet over the past couple of days. I spent an entire saturday stuck in my office while the sun was shining and it was a great day outside. I haven't had time to clean my house or cook my lunches for this week, and I have a houseguest coming to stay on Wednesday.
I'm very angry with myself, and it's really worrisome because I am a comfort eater. I have been doing well with my diet, but when times are rough, food is comforting to me, and I'm scared I will screw it all up by binging over this whole ordeal.
Sorry about all this. I just needed to talk to someone.