Multiple wedding shower gift etiquette?
 

I've never attended a wedding, so I'm not sure what to do. My roommate/co-worker is getting married. I'd call us friends, but we are not that close, and I dislike her obnoxious fiance. My BF/wedding date doesn't like either of them and is only going to the wedding for my sake, so I'm not asking him to help pay for a wedding gift even though I will put both of our names on the card. Various friends are organizing an engagement party for the couple, a bridal shower for her, and a bachelorette party, all in addition to the wedding. I've been invited to all of these events. I feel I have to go, because since we live together roommate will know if I'm sitting at home with nothing better to do. I don't want to sound ungracious or cheap but my budget is extremely tight. Affording the standard 2 gifts (shower & wedding) would be a stretch but 4 is too much, especially given that I don't feel close to her. How do I politely not give a gift at each event? Which of the events do I give gifts at? Would it be better to give 4 inexpensive gifts (they'd have to all be about $10 each)?

It would be unreasonable for her to expect a gift at each party. Your plan (a shower gift and a wedding gift) sounds just fine. But make sure your date is cool with adding his name to the card before you go ahead with that.

You are being quite generous already. By the strictest etiquette standards, a wedding gift is a wedding gift, and may be given at the shower if you so desire. There's actually no need for a separate shower gift, but if you do give one it should be something small. (Oh, & FYI that nonsense about "covering your plate" with the cost of your gift is just that--nonsense.) While you can give them an engagement gift, it's certainly not necessary, and I've never heard of a bachelorette party requiring a gift!

I would only give a gift at the bridal shower and wedding. The other two, to me, just don't seem like gift giving occasions.