Okay - So, I'm 38 and feeling like I have to get in shape, kind of "now or never" and I'm worried more about my clothes, hair, etc. than I have been in years. I thought it was just because both of my children are now school-aged and I have a little more free time to schedule exercise, etc. Butttttt....is it really that or when you get this age and want to lose weight and start noticing wrinkles, etc., are you in a midlife crisis?

I just turned 40 in December, I have never had a problem with age/weight in my life until now and I never lost the "extra" pregnancy weight from my daughter. I had my kids young. My son will be 21 in April & my daughter will be 19 in June. She is in college and he has been living out of the house since 18 1/2. I have been a Mom for as long as I can remember I went from helping with the younger kids at the babysitter, to babysitting to having babies. I don't know if I am having a mid-life crisis, empty nest syndrome, premenopause or what. All I know is that I feel like so much of my life has been defined as me being "Mom" and the kids coming first before everything including me and my husband that I am having a hard time with knowing what being me is and what it is that I want.
I know I didn't give you any answers--but just know that you are not alone. One of my friends turned 40 last October and left her husband and kids for an old boyfriend. Another friend turns 40 in June and is having a hard time with it too.

Personally when any of us start to think about seriously committing to lose weight, we become more focused on vanity issues.

From time to time we all take stock of our lives to see where we have been, where we are, and where we are going. It is times like these that we may discover we don't like the direction we are going, and decide to make a change. I turned 39 last November, and it was hard. I don't feel old, but I am surrounded by college age kids at work all day. They are so young and full of promise. I realize that I have missed the boat on many opportunities. I can't go back, but I can move forward in a more positive direction. When I decided last year to lose weight, it wasn't for vanity. It was because my health was starting to slip. I am at an age were I realize that I'm not able to abuse my body and expect it to stay healthy. I don't like the wrinkles, the loose skin, the thinning hair, etc. - all things that come with getting older. I do, however, like the wisdom that comes with getting older. I truly believe the second half of my life will be better than the first. I know so much more, and I have lost the false expectations which kept me unhappy for so long. I may never look as good again as I did when I was 20, but I know now that good health is more beautiful than any artificial glamour we can apply to our outsides.

I dunno. Maybe it is a midlife crisis. But I'm enjoying my crisis. Mine hit at 37 and I managed to lose the weight...over 100 pounds of it. Being that my daughter was coming up on 19 at the time, I couldn't blame it on the pregnancy any longer. Then got pregnant again at 40. LOL And I'm heading back down again. Should be back in those size 8 jeans again soon. I'm enjoying the way I look, the "skinny" jeans, hipsters even. I hope my crisis continues.

I wouldn't call it a midlife crisis, but having the time of my life while I can.
At 45 I am having the time of my life. All those things I was going to get around to doing someday well when I turned 40 and the last of my kids left
the nest. I started doing all those things and if I have my way this beautiful party of self discovery will never end. I knew how to be a daughter, wife, mother, employee and at last I can say I know what it is like to be me. I like the woman I see in the mirror each morning now shes alright.

You know, honestly, I'm having a lot of fun with it. I think for years I had not given myself permission to take care of myself at all. I felt guilty for taking time to exercise or do much of anything for myself. I felt guilty if my shower took too long - shave those legs fast!! I think maybe when I started to exercise regularly, it was such a stress reliever, and it gave me time to think and get back in touch with myself. So, like some of you said, maybe it is a midlife crisis - but I like it. Maybe a midlife crisis is just a time in life when you finally do the things you should have been doing all along. Maybe they should call it a midlife revelation instead of a crisis!