[Totally Neck-ed]

Hey, I just turned 30 and am over 200 lbs. I overheard my HUSBAND talking to one of his friends, and I know he is just venting his fustrations with my weight. I have always been normal weight and pretty but since the kids... and getting older.... I don't look over 200..most of my friends think I am 180s or so, I mean the weight is all over and I try to dress trendy . layering,, so it hides a little better. An I am 5'7 so that helps. Anyways.. yep.. that is what he said.. I am beautiful from the neck up, pretty much. grrrrrr So I "laugh" with him as I am screaming inside. I am so sick of hearing those comments. I think you can be big all over and be beautiful! I was thinking about submitting a plus size photo for modelling...(serves him right). My family says the same thing ALL the time.. "oh Sandra, if you just would loose that weight, you would be so beautiful, you have such a pretty face." It makes me want to scream! Anyway, any other "pretty girls" out there know what I mean? I just have to vent!!!! And please don't slam my hubby, he is not perfect, but he is close.

[icmethinner]

I'm so sorry you overheard your husband say that!

I do know how you feel, although I am now 38 and when you are overweight and pushing 40, you don't get so many compliments about your face either!

My advice would be to start doing something about the weight now - while you are still young. Look at it this way - this may be the last decade in your life that you can be thin and pretty at the same time!!! Yes, there are many pretty 40 and 50-somethings and even older, but it's not like when you're 30.

Do it now!!!!

[Totally Neck-ed]

hey, I know what you mean.

I need to do something. All my dad's side are like almost 300 lbs 'ers and I know I take after that side of the family.

Have to just keep trying! Thanks for the support! Your awesome.

[sag123]

You should let your husband have it. I, too, am above 200 and was a former hottie. My husband has said indirect comments like "boy, we really need to start walking on the treadmill" and I know what he means. THen I just comment on the fact that he used to have more hair!!!
I suffer from the old eye for an eye syndrom!
Hang in there. When you are thinner your husband will regret his comments cuz he will be worried about you and all your hottness leaving him!!!!

[Totally Neck-ed]

Haha that is too true. My husband also has the "top of the head " baldness slowly happening as well. I'll remember that~. Seriously though, it is fustrating! I am sure for him, but def for me. I hate being overweight. Just doesn't seem to come off as easily as it went on. LOL

[srmb60]

Well, I'm not pretty but that's never stopped me from talking. In fact very little can stop me from talking. Since I've been working away at this weight thing for a couple of years now, my husband and I have been round and round it a thousand times. When push comes to shove he'd still love me if I had weight, lost weight, lost a leg, my hair, a breast ..... But given his druthers .... he thinks I'm sexier now than when I was my heaviest. And he's slightly disappointed that I've gained some of my weight back.
Men are men. They are what they are. What drives them, drives the continuation of the human race. Poor simple darlings.

[icmethinner]

You're cracking me up!!!! "Poor simple darlings..." I love that!

[Totally Neck-ed]

too funny!

[hoodj0080]

Ugh, your husband sounds like an idiot! Ask him how hot he'd look after having human beings crawl out of his nether regions. Sorry I sound so rude--my parents are obese and I'm 6 feet tall and 205 pounds. I don't look it either because the weight is all over, but I want to lose the excess weight before I get married and have little ones. My boyfriend says I'd look "gross" and "malnourished" if I only weighed 150 poundsIf he's that gung ho about you losing weight, go through the house and throw out ALL the junk food, even his!
Good luck to you!

[erikatheloser]

This is a somewhat weird situation. Because on one side, it is good that he is being honest with you about it. I mean, I guess it's better that he expresses it to you instead of hiding it inside. But on the other side, I see how being big does not automatically mean that you are not beautiful. Anyway, best of luck on your weight loss journey!

[pumpingiron]

I don't think men realize that women take comments like that to heart. Have you ever seen a man with his buddies? A most amazing thing....they rip on eachother and laugh about it freely. Just another inch in the great gender divide!!!! Perhaps you should let him know that it hurt you. you say he is a good guy---maybe shedding some light on your feelings will make him realize how rude it sounded.
I feel the same way about my hubby. Nope.....he's not perfect (no one is) but we agree that respect is so important. i.e. no name calling, even if we are fighting! It goes a long way in keeping the relationship strong.

[FreshStart06]

Me and my best friend have had this discussion a million times. I've been told since 4th grade that I would be a hottie if I would just lose the weight. I worked as a cashier one summer, and this one woman came to my register and told me I had such a pretty face. My mom is guilty of this more than anyone. She tells me everyday that I'm so pretty, I just have "one" problem. I just take it and run with it because I know I will hottie and not just in the face! :-p

[Arian]

I think they best saying is "Boys are dumb, throw rocks at them." Unfortunatly, men seem to be unaware as to how much certain comments or looks hurt. I go through this a lot with boy, and then we end up talking about it. However..throwing rocks does do the job sometimes

[ItsHard]

I`m sorry for you. My husband has never said that - but he does talk about us exercising too. I also see him immediately look away from a movie - if the ladies are half dressed with thier hot bodies....I am sure he does it because he doesn`t want me to feel bad about my gain (and I don`t have kids as an excuse)
Although his kind-heartedness is almost as depressing - I know why he wants "us" to exercise and I know why he always looks away from other women - and it makes me feel bad
I just started this group and I can`t wait to post my success storey!

Good Luck

[Totally Neck-ed]

Wow, you guys are so sweet.

We had a little "talk" last night, and he just said it would be a lie for him to say he thinks I look good (body wise) when I don't. Fat isn't pretty and he thinks I can be better than letting this stay on. He also equates fat with laziness... to my surprise. When My problem isn;t laziness but high cal-high fat overeating. He also said he loves me and I am beautiful.. from the neck up. (grrrrrrr). And to say anything else would allow me to think he loves me being fat. ( in his mind)
Sooooo I guess it really is unfair, if I hate being fat, but don't want my hubby to hate it.
He isn't supportive like I would be to him, but he is a guy and I think if he was "ok" with it, I wouldn't be so stressed to get the weight off....
But if it bugs me, and bugs him... I am more inclined to get it off. I know I am rambling, but it helps to sort out my spinning head!