I know how it is, though my fear is that I will kill a person. I didn't want to drive... but we moved to the boonies, no sidewalks, no transportation... I have to drive 5 minutes to get to a gas station and another 5 to get to an actual grocery. I was 25 before I got my license. My husband was very little help. He is a nervous person, and i don't ask questions the way he understands them. I finally just started ignoring him all together and just drove. LOL I did fail my driving test because the officer was a prick. I don't say that often, but he was. He was in a pissy mood and I failed because I didn't back up properly. He said back up and I backed up... he didn't like the way I did it. When I retook the test (same guy) he was all laughing and happy, he stuck his head out my sunroof and yelled to everyone in the parking lot that I was kidnapping him. I pulled out into the street turned around, backed up and he said you pass. I was so mad.

I haven't killed anyone yet either. LOL If I can do it YOU can do it. :)

You have nothing to feel bad about. I know several people who do not drive, my DD being one of them! She has renewed her drivers permit 3 times! Not for lack of not passing a driving test, but her lack of driving period. She has no desire to drive, never has. She is 22 and now I wonder if she is a little scared. She's never mentioned being scared, just no interest in it. I started driving when I was 16 and couldn't wait! It's like being free. I tell her she needs to drive and she just says "Why?" LOL She does fine when she does drive, even though she says I make her a little nervous. I really don't aim to, I am just trying to teach her the proper way-the book way. So and I am confident that she would pass her driving test if she would just do it and drive a little more. I also have a niece that is 25 who doesn't drive and she is scared to death to even think about it. A SIL who didn't get her drivers license until she was 30 and a friend who is just now learning. He husband always had an excuse for teaching and I think he just didn't want her to learn. That way she couldn't go anywhere. But she finally go it and loves driving. Anyway...

I agree with whoever it was that said don't let your hubby teach you. Would probably make you more nervous and you would never want to get in the car again! Also, I think you took a big step in talking about it here. Have you thought about talking to a professional about it? Maybe that would help. And sometimes just doing it will conquer the fear. I was and still am deathly afraid of flying. But, my DS had a ceremony in GA and then his graduation from basic training in the Army and there's no way I would have missed that. I had planned on driving and DH talked me into flying because it was a lot cheaper. I was scared and I did and do get anxious about flying but I did it and the plane didn't crash! LOL

Keep us posted and good luck!

One of the things that made me really nervous when I started was learning which pedal was which. I have to admit that early on in my driving capers there was a little incident with a large bush when I hit the gas instead of the brake. Luckilly the bush was only slightly hurt and didn't require any major surgery. :D

The only way to do it is practice. I started practicing all the time - wherever I was - until it became second nature which pedal was which. When you start doing it, it just becomes a habit and you don't have to think about everything.

I was afraid to drive for just years! Part of it was that I don't have great coordination (always at the bottom of my gym class), and I worried that this might affect my ability in traffic. I took driver's ed in high school, but I ended up not getting my license until I was almost 40.

It sounds like your fear has more to do with Briley than driving. You know what? I'd take that seriously. It could just be nervousness, but it could be a real premonition that something might happen with her in the car and you driving. Once the time period when the bad thing might happen passes, your feelings about taking her in the car will pass, and then you can drive with her.

But don't let that put off you getting started on driving. There is absolutely NO risk to reading the driving manual. I don't know if you can just call and have it sent out. You may have to go and get it. But you're someone who likes knowing things and being able to do things, so you might as well know the driving rules.

There's no need to take the next step until you're ready. So that first step really is risk free.

Once you're up to learning in the car, you might want to hire an experienced teacher. Maybe the high school driver's ed teacher will give you private lessons. The school cars have a second steering wheel and I think accelerator and brakes for the teacher in case you screw up, so it's safer. Or a driving school may have classes or private lessons.

Once you get the license, you can always say that you don't want to drive with your child until you're more experienced. Anyone can understand that. And once you are more experienced, your anxiety about driving with her in the car may clear right up.

I lived in a small town and there was no where to go either but the only thing to do was drive around to get out. So I learned to drive but not until I was in my late teens. The town grew and I moved to Dallas, where everyone drives and the buses are okay. There's monorails there to and I used them cause I had no car so I never drove. I though it sucked cause of the lack of control and freedom, but at least I didn't have to drive in the freeways there, it was crazy when I first got there. Then I went to Austin, and I never ever drove there. The buses where the only way anywhere. While they came around more often during the day then in Dallas, it still sucked. Now, I am back home and this place has grown. Everyone drives here period. Buses are present, more so then they were before, but almost no existent. U either drive or stay at home. I unllike most am a defensive driver. I love it. It sucks too that eventhough I drive well other are terrible, esp. because I now live by a border town. Some people here make there own roads at times, and some don't know the freaking laws of getting on the freeways. It has in truth gotten better but there is much room for improvement. Eg. when at a light on a two lane the shoulder cannot be used as a third to continue forward it is a right turn lane at best. Yep it is that insane. At least now that the feeways were repaired, still are doing so on the other side, many learned that u gotta wait to get on the freeway not just keep going and make the ones on the freeway brake so u could get on - that really ticked me off. That I haven't seen anymore, also the fact that the on freeway has a lane now and goes until the exit, allowing one time to get to the next lane. What is sad is many that I've seen break the rules aren't even from across our border, it's the freaking one's who live here. Oh, well. The only other thing that sucks is that now we are getting too many lights added on some major streets which will only slow down traffic more, and some of those lights are useless.

You are not alone...cars are scary. I am 23 but when I first turned 18 I refused to drive. But I slowly did. (at least three times while learning I had to pull over to be sick!)
Now I drive EVERYWHERE! It is like learning to ride a bike, it takes a while but it gets easier!
Give it time, and give it a try!

You aren't alone in this phobia. I have a couple of suggestions, although both will take some effort on your part, as well as your DH's cooperation.

The first is to see a doctor about some antidepressant or antianxiety medication. I learned to drive (reluctantly) without these, but I always had a fear of freeway driving, especially merging. When I went on Zoloft for reasons unrelated to driving, this fear left me, and has never returned even though I stopped the Zoloft years ago. I'm a much braver driver than I ever dreamed of being, and even made a cross-country trip without my DH recently. If you knew what I used to be like, you'd understand how amazing that is. So you see, your situation is far from hopeless.

The second is to find a good driving school. There are probably some near you, but if not, call AAA and take one of their classes. Explain your phobia to your instructor. I seriously doubt you'll be the first student they've had who was afraid to drive. Remember, your instructor has helped others succeed, and he or she can help you, too.

Getting you to and from the doctor and your driving classes will take some effort on your DH's part, but that's just the way it has to be. Maybe he can take some vacation hours to help you with the transportation. You both need to remember that whatever effort you put into it now will be repaid many times over in the years to come.

I wish you all the best with this! Keep us posted. :)

I'm 33 and I don't drive. Scares the living twinkles out of me. I lived in a small town in Tasmania, Australia, where the busses stopped at 7pm, except on friday and Saturday nights when they went a bit later. It was really hard.

Now I live in England, I live in a rural village but work in the centre of town, we have great public transport links. Ok it takes me 90 minutes to get to work instead of 45 minutes, but I don't care. I love where I live, and I like not being a gas guzzling commuter.

It's a shame your neighbourhood doesn't cater for non drivers. I am quite proud of my non-driving status. Even the mayor of London doesn't drive!!!