[ObeseGirlfriend]

I made another post specifically about how I think my boyfriend doesn't want me to lose weight. That is part of our problems.
How I look then and now is important. Now I looked when I met him back in April of 2018. I was 28 years old, 303 lb, has moderate acne on my forehead cheeks chin and jaw, I had long blonde hair, I had a shaved body.
Now I am 29, I weigh 429 lb, I have severe acne covering my whole face, I have a shaved head, and I have an unshaved body. Dramatic change in look right ? Well, after I moved in with him in June of 2018 he told me things. Including how sexy he finds fat women. How sexy he finds acne on women. How sexy he finds a natural woman. How sexy short hair is. How sexy he finds sweaty women. How sexy he finds smelly women. And more. I hated bing fat. I hated having acne. I liked having long hair. I hate having body hair. I hate being sweaty. I hate being unclean and smelly.
He tells me I'm beautiful at least once a day. On average, he compliments my looks at least 5 times per day. I made myself look more like his type.
Today, I woke up smelling myself. Haven't showered in 2 days. When I looked in the mirror today, it hit me. No offense to anyone who has this look, I hate looking like this. I hate that I am more unhealthy and unfit now than before I met him. I feel like a fool for trying so hard to impress him.
But I am not sure if I should break up with him. Okay, he actively tried and successed to sabotage my efforts to lose weight. But it was still a decision I made when I fail to change my lifestyle. Everything else I did with little pressure from him. And maybe I can be healthy and look closer to how I want to look without having to break the with him. I don't know.

[Carguy]

Don't walk run!

[ObeseGirlfriend]

Originally Posted by Carguy

Don't walk run!

I am seriously considering that. This morning I woke up to find a cheesecake and a tub of ice cream in my fridge. Is it coincidence that yesterday I started trying to weight again and I find my favorite food, cheesecake, and one of my favorite foods, vanilla ice cream, in my fridge ?
I more concerned about how I am being a bad influence to my 15 year old niece. Since I been with my boyfriend, my niece has gotten fat, I got fatter, my sister has gotten fatter, and my mom has gotten fatter.

[shellofself]

Your boyfriend sounds like he has a severe fetish. I don't say that to kink-shame. Having non-conforming sexual preferences are fine, but this fetish is to the detriment of your health and well-being. That's not fine.

We're the same-ish height and roughly the same age. I turned 30 the year--morbidly obese with an unhealthy relationship with food and all the stuff that comes with that: health issues/acne/etc. Then I decided to do something about it. My husband (also a big guy) did not exactly make it easy in the beginning, so we had a sit-down, heart-to-heart discussion about how I needed him to be supportive of my journey. I didn't expect him to start going to the gym right beside me, but I did expect him to stop buying me pizza and junk food on the regular.

I wish I had made the decision to focus on better myself sooner, and I wish we had had that talk sooner because I'd be alot further in my weight loss journey... but I can't change the past! I can only change the future, and that starts with today's decisions to eat right and get off my butt.

If your boyfriend can't respect what you *need* to do to better yourself, then it's natural that you're contemplating ending the relationship and ultimately finding someone who will respect you and love you regardless of your size.