So, a couple of months ago I got something I've been dreading for a while. Invitation to a reunion, for 10th grade (which is the grade before "high school" where I'm from. At first I was almost in shock, knowing that I would have to make a decision about whether I would go or not, but then I got this confident feeling, thinking that "hey, I'll just go!"... I got picked on a lot for my weight back then, and of course I've had lots of issues because of that, but it's a lot better now. Well, mostly, anyway.

The only problem now is this: I would hate giving those people the joy of seeing me the way I look now. I was only chubby back then, and I am way beyond chubby now.

When I first got the invitation, I thought that I had a lot of time to get rid of enough weight to at least look a little better, but then life and excuses happened, and now it's only a month left. I'm getting cold feet, and the date that I have to decide for sure is not far away. To make matters worse, the reunion is on my birthday.

I did have some friends, and some of them are going (such as one of my best friends), so I wouldn't be completely on my own, but I can't really expect them to hang around with me every second of the evening. I also feel like I should go just to prove to myself (and them, to some degree) that I am strong enough and that they didn't completely break me all those years ago.

So, would you go if you were me? Also, experiences from anyone who had a similar situation would be great

F@ck your weight. If you want to go, then go. And it sounds like you have good reason to.

If you let your weight start to dictate what you do or do not do then that is a road to ruin.

And excluding yourself from anything you want to do is a complete no-no.

Get your hair done. Buy a new dress. And some nice new shoes. Get a mani and a pedi and your makeup done.

Go.

And feel fabulous.

You do not have to make any excuses for being you. Ever.

PS I am not sure how old you actually are but if you are over 18 I stick with what I wrote.

If you are below 18, then please consider the following:

Forget your weight. If you want to go, then go. And it sounds like you have good reason to.

Excluding yourself from anything you want to do is not healthy.

Go.

And feel fabulous.

You do not have to make any excuses for being you. Ever.

No, I wouldn't go.

And I didn't myself either. I wish I'd done this weight loss thing years ago.

I would go if you really want to reconnect and like (liked) these people.

Keep in mind they would have changed, gotten older, maybe also have different bodies too.

But, if you really don't like anyone from then and it won't bring you any positivity to interact with them again I would skip it.

Ask yourself if you're going to get anything positive from this experience or if it's just going to set you back?

I would only go if it was my only opportunity to connect with those few friends I had. It sounds like your better option may be scheduling a visit before/after the reunion with those friends.

Why in the **** would you waste your time hanging out with people who were awful to you? You have nothing to prove to them. They don't deserve to spend time with you.

yes this exactly!! I went to a veryyyyy small high school and frankly didn't really like most of the kids that also went there...the few who I was friends with, I've stayed in touch with through facebook and in person when I still lived in the area....I have no desire NOW to go back and visit with people who I didn't even like THEN

Well, I guess I got that one quite badly wrong.

Actually Ian, I think you got it quite exquisitely right!

You have nothing to prove or disprove to anyone other than yourself.

I'm like a couple people on this thread. I didn't care for a lot of my classmates then. Don't have much reason to reconnect with them now.

I agree with Ian. If you want to go definitely don't let your weight hold you back from doing so.

Speaking from personal experience, I use to attach "when I get down to xyz weight" to a lot of plans. I had friends that I didn't see for several years, or even really talk to for several years, because of that. I deeply regret it now, and they wouldn't have cared what my weight was.

That being said, if you don't actually want to go and are using your weight as an excuse to justify.. then just don't go, no need to bring your weight into it. Basically, leave the weight out of it.. if weight wasn't something you were considering would you go? If so, follow Ian's awesome post

Regardless of weight I skipped all reunions only because none of these people ever made any effort to keep in touch after HS so I have no desire to reconnect.

I felt the same way as Nova Angel. The people who cared, kept in touch over the years. To me, class reunions end up being about bragging about who you are and what you've accomplished.

If you really want to go, follow Ian's instructions.

Thanks for all the great input! I think I have decided to go, actually. I hate regretting the things I didn't do. If it turns out to be a bad night I'll just leave early. I'll be staying with my mother just a short walk away from the venue, and I'm sure she would be happy to spend whatever is left of the evening with me

I think you're right to go if you think you'll regret missing it.

As you said, you can always just leave.

My high school reunions have been so much fun. People I barely remember end up being "new," friends and old friends reconnect. We share fun memories and laugh. Sure, some people just want to brag about their great accomplishments, so we listen politely and then smile at each other when the go on to the next group. One thing's for sure, no one cares what anyone weighs. Most of us have gained, but a few have stayed in great shape. That really doesn't matter to anyone. We're grown-up now, and what we care about is who seems nicest and has the funniest stories from the old days.