Venting a bit. I have a neighbor who probably needs to lose weight for health. She's a busy working mom like me. When She saw me recently I felt so bad for her, she got diagnosed with prediabetes by her doc and he told her she should lose at least 50 #s, probably more. She saw how much weight I loss and was looking for advice.
I said, "start with one small change at a time, it snowballs. Why not try no sodas, juice, any sweet drinks like I did to start"
"Oh but I need my diet coke every morning, that's ok." My reply was no and she said....oh I'll start with another change then.
Ok...."well what about eating more veggies? I got some great zucchini pasta recipes?"
Her response:" I hate zucchini....in fact I only will eat cooked spinach and salads sometimes. The rest are gross." "Ok. Eat more of that."
I also said, "if you ever want to take the kids to the park, I can show you some of the exercises I do with body weight." "I hate exercise."
She was asking about supplements and some ridiculous weight loss plan through a local hospital where you drank 900 calories a day worth of meal supplements for a year and were followed by a doctor. I don't know why she would think that's easier? Especially when it's lots of $$$
When I told her everything I do, she looked horrified. Overwhelmed. I felt bad. So I went back to "all of it started with one small change of just drinking water. And you don't have to do what I do. Different plans work for different people." I had a couple diabetes diet plan books I gave her.
I feel as though she wanted me to say, it's easy. It's not easy, it's worth it. I wasn't going to lie to her. I hope she comes back around. :/.
Last edited by nickilaughs; 06-18-2015 at 08:32 PM.
I have no patience for people like that. They want to lose weight BUT they won't drink water, eat veg, exercise, or dump junk food. Seriously, they basically won't do anything healthy, but they expect the weight to just disappear.
I have had so many conversations just like the one you describe. People tell me I look great and ask how I lost my weight. My answer is always "exercise more, drink water, try to avoid processed foods and stuff with added sugar, decrease your calorie intake, etc." 95% of the time I am either met with the same look of horror that you got or "No, that's too much work. I can't give up my Big Mac and Coke." Sorry for your luck, you're not going to lose weight if you don't change your habits.
People like that, I have no sympathy for. I tried to help and they shut me down. Once I get a response like that I instantly give up. It's not easy, but it is possible with effort and willpower. Like you said OP, it's worth it. Hopefully eventually they will come around. If not, there's nothing we can do.
I think many of our members have encountered people over and over again like this over the years I'd put it up to just the fact that they aren't ready and I wouldn't let it affect you.
I wouldn't take any of that personally. It takes years to build up good habits and shut down the bad ones. Getting defensive about food has more to do with fear and I can sympathize with that. I feel for them. I rarely click with others who've lost weight, I can never do what they do, it seems too hard. But I can do what I can do and I stick with that. Don't let anyone bring you down, I always try to be a source of support no matter what the others are struggling with.
My only pet peeve is people who hate veggies. Come on now, there's hundreds of varieties, you're telling me you can't find a handful of veggies that you're willing to eat? That's bogus.
She is not at a point that "she" is ready. Her doctor is telling her to be ready, and if you think back to your own "beginning", it probably felt scary and undoable too.
And then, if you talk to someone who is doing the journey so completely differently from what would work for you, it's even more scary.
I still drink diet Soda and did all the way down to 169 pounds. I don't eat Zucchini pasta, and I lose weight too. I don't like to run, but I like walking and doing step aerobics. I thought I would hate weight training, and found I didn't once I learned about different methods and ways of doing it.
So. let's not be judgmental. She's overwhelmed. And honestly, if she goes on a shake diet, but figures out how to keep it off long term, that is 100% OK too. That would be "her" way to deal with it.
And that is true that the 'ridiculous' plan is probably Optifast which is one that certain people have had long term success with. From what I've read, many Optifast plans have people on liquid, then transition to food, meet with dieticians and psychologists to help them work on issues in regards to how they got overweight in the first place and provide them techniques to keep the weight off.
I am in a non weight loss group where the favorite saying is eyes on your own plate. In this case, it may be eyes on your own plan.
And that is true that the 'ridiculous' plan is probably Optifast which is one that certain people have had long term success with. From what I've read, many Optifast plans have people on liquid, then transition to food, meet with dieticians and psychologists to help them work on issues in regards to how they got overweight in the first place and provide them techniques to keep the weight off.
I am in a non weight loss group where the favorite saying is eyes on your own plate. In this case, it may be eyes on your own plan.
She sought me out asking advice. Just frustrating how she was negative about every single suggestion, I ran out of ideas at that point. I agree she isn't ready, it has to be her decision, not someone elses. I also gave her access to some diabetes detour book that I had which allows diet sodas and such. But then she said she couldn't do that plan either because it has so many vegetables and was strict (I'm pretty sure it has cheat options).
I never suggest, I never start conversations regarding diet or anything, she came to me and dismissed it all. Hopefully she finds her internal motivator at some point. I would have been happy to have a "buddy."
And that is true that the 'ridiculous' plan is probably Optifast which is one that certain people have had long term success with. From what I've read, many Optifast plans have people on liquid, then transition to food, meet with dieticians and psychologists to help them work on issues in regards to how they got overweight in the first place and provide them techniques to keep the weight off.
I am in a non weight loss group where the favorite saying is eyes on your own plate. In this case, it may be eyes on your own plan.
I did not go to her and offer help, she came to me. She was sort of "how could you do that?" and negative about it. I can't control how she feels towards me, I just was baffled at the negativity.
Agreed, that liquid plans work for some; but at 1000s of dollars per the plan she was looking at and they told her it was less than 60% successful, she also thought it wasn't a good idea. I never only suggested my plan to her, I gave her books on other plans and really tried to encourage, "just pick one small change, any change." I just gave her my changes for examples.
I had a friend that went on a fad diet a few years back that I flat out told her won't work and is a waste of $300. It was pills with extremely low caloric intake. She didn't listen. I don't need to tell you the outcome.
When people ask they don't want to hear anything other than "take this pill every morning and presto chango."
She is not at a point that "she" is ready. Her doctor is telling her to be ready, and if you think back to your own "beginning", it probably felt scary and undoable too.
And then, if you talk to someone who is doing the journey so completely differently from what would work for you, it's even more scary.
I still drink diet Soda and did all the way down to 169 pounds. I don't eat Zucchini pasta, and I lose weight too. I don't like to run, but I like walking and doing step aerobics. I thought I would hate weight training, and found I didn't once I learned about different methods and ways of doing it.
So. let's not be judgmental. She's overwhelmed. And honestly, if she goes on a shake diet, but figures out how to keep it off long term, that is 100% OK too. That would be "her" way to deal with it.
^THIS IS EVERYTHING!!!^
I am a bit shocked at the judgement towards this women...
look at your starting weight... you were just were she was at one time. How nice was it to have smaller folks pointing fingers at that morbidly obese person and judging!
I did not go to her and offer help, she came to me. She was sort of "how could you do that?" and negative about it. I can't control how she feels towards me, I just was baffled at the negativity.
Agreed, that liquid plans work for some; but at 1000s of dollars per the plan she was looking at and they told her it was less than 60% successful, she also thought it wasn't a good idea. I never only suggested my plan to her, I gave her books on other plans and really tried to encourage, "just pick one small change, any change." I just gave her my changes for examples.
I understand, but I think the idea of 'she isn't ready' may be it but again, you never know, the liquid plan could be her thing. We certainly know here that it can take a while for someone to be ready to make positive changes in their life that could result in weight loss.
Of course it just didn't fall off!
