C'mon
Ian! You know ladies do not sweat, we glow. We do not urinate, we tinkle. We do not fart, we puff. And we do not poop. Ever. Least I don't. Unfortunately.
Here's something else you might find while searching for fart calories:
Before you dismiss fart humor as low brow and juvenile, remember that Ben Franklin once famously remarked, "Fart proudly." And the great Louis C.K. more recently stated, "You don't have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to." In fact, the world's oldest recorded joke is a Sumerian knee-slapper from 1900 B.C. about, you guessed it, ancient air biscuits. Here's the translation: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap." (guess you had to be there.)
Hmmmmm...what did those ancient Sumerians eat??
The raw materials of the Sumerian diet...were barley, wheat and millet; chick peas, lentils and beans; onions, garlic and leeks; cucumbers, cress, mustard and fresh green lettuce.....also dates and beer
STOPIT !!!
omgoodness! I just remembered that farting under the covers is called a Dutch Oven.
oh this is lovely. I feel 13 again! Ho! the things you cannot talk about IRL!! Least not until you're 80.
...I'd better stop or I'll get kicked out of this forum...
I SO AGREE!!!!!!!!!
Good job Ian! Good job!!! 
