[helpmelose]

Ugh! So I have been single WAY WAY too long and I tried Match in the past but didn't really use it. I get panicky, freak out, and just too anxious. Anyway my goal is to FACE my FEAR otherwise I will be forever single - at least that is how I am feeling.

But curious - which do you think is better? What's been your experience? Your friend or family members experience?

TIA

[Lunula]

I have no experience with either (I got married before online dating existed!!) - but my husband's step-brother met his wife on Match.com. They actually sent in their story to see if they could get on a commercial, hah!

That said, to me, I always thought eHarmony sounded better - seems more about matching personalities rather than just browsing photos. But, again, I have never used either one.

Why not do both? Good luck!!!

[helpmelose]

I wish I could do both -- it's the cost

I played around with match last night and have the cost.

So I think this afternoon I am going to play with eharmony and see how that goes. I kind of like the idea of not just browsing pics.

Thanks for responding!

Did they get selected for the commercial?

[novangel]

eHarmony is a WAY better site out of the two. Some people swear off internet dating all together but for me it was a great experience.

[nelie]

My ex-bf met his wife on eharmony. His goal was marriage though. If your goal is marriage and you are heterosexual then eharmony may be worth a shot. If you are bi/homosexual or are looking to date but not looking for someone who wants to head to straight into marriage, I'd look at other sites. I have a few friends that use okcupid, which I think is free. The problem with free sites is well you may not get serious people.

[Quiet Ballerina]

I think it varies depending on area.
okcupid is free. I tried match for a year, hoping paying members meant more serious about a relationship....nope. My roommate and some of her friends have also tried Match recently (I used it a couple of years ago) and they weren't happy with the results either.
I also tried Christian Mingle, and that was a bust.
I feel like a dating site aficionado.
Maybe I'll look into eharmony. I haven't given up on online dating!
For what it's worth, I have had a few relationships from okcupid....just not lasting ones.

[CherryPie99]

My husband's niece met an amazing guy on eharmony. On the other hand I know 2 people that had terrible experiences with match.com. Maybe just a coincidence?

[JayZeeJay]

In my area, OK cupid is one of the most active dating sites. That is how I met my now fiance, three years ago. It was a perfect way for us to meet. We're both busy professionals working long hours, and neither of us was into the bar scene - we prefer to spend free time outdoors. I had tried Match also but in my area, it was populated by the kind of men I am absolutely not attracted to - more macho, alpha types - and I gave up on it quickly. I started an eHarmony profile eons ago but was discouraged by what struck me as overly restrictive, pseudoscience-based automatching. I like to choose my own adventure

[helpmelose]

Wow! Thanks for all the input!

I ended up doing eharmony today I had done Match when I lived out in AZ but I wasn't ready to put myself out there. I was super stressed working 2 jobs and just not in the right mindset. But I kind of feel like I already like eharmony a little better it cost more but hopefully that means more serious men. I am also on OKC but haven't had much luck -- just guys looking for one thing (not ALL of course but most that I have chatted with).

I am looking to get married so I am hoping this was the right way to go for me. Only time will tell -- I am signed up through November now.

I chatted with a friend today and she started using last year and in December found 7 great guys but went with her heart after narrowing it down to 3 and finally got serious with 1 guy just in the past couple months. But she said it was a great experience and the matches were good! How great would it be to be able to choose from 7 lol.

JayZeeJay glad OKC worked for you and you're engaged! Congrats!!!

CherryPie99 That is great! How long have they been dating? Did it take her long to find him?

Quiet_Ballerina Give it another shot!!

novangel You used eharmony? I take it you had a great experience!?

[Paulitens]

I didn't do either website but I met my husband online and I do not regret anything, one little bit. And I mean... we had serious distance between us, I was in Argentina, he was in the US, for three years until we finally met, and when we did we got engaged because we knew that it was "it."

I know it's not the same to be "on the market" in a website like that, than randomly meeting someone... but my point was that it can bring much happiness and love to your life. You just need to take the plunge and let go. Everything will turn out the way it's supposed to.

PS: I had not read your last post. Good luck!

[helpmelose]

Thanks paulitens

That is amazing! So you guys went 3 years without meeting? How long have you guys been together now?

And thanks again!

[jayavery]

Helpmelose I can give you 1st hand. I believe that you get what you pay for and E-harmony is probably at the higher monthly cost compared to others. I agree with post above..The less expensive ones people just may in it for a hook up or casual dating. But for marriage or a long term relationship...E-harmony. I think their set up really weeds out the "less desirable's" and I met my husband on E-Harmony. We have had plenty of ups and downs but married now 10 years

[novangel]

Originally Posted by helpmelose

novangel You used eharmony? I take it you had a great experience!?

Yep! See my ticker below?

[Quiet Ballerina]

helpmelose: I wanted to add, that in my experience no matter which site it was.....I usually got out of it what I put in. If I sat around waiting for a guy to message me, I wouldn't get very far. But if I sent out messages and frequently updated my profile/pictures, I had much better results.
The exception to this was Christian Mingle. I sent out over 60 emails in the month I was on there and didn't get a single date.

ETA: I think this post inspired me to try out eharmony! Have to decide which membership option I want.

ETA (again): I got a little email with tips on the right kind of picture to put up...and most of mine aren't great choices! I'm usually outside when taking pictures, which means I have my big sunglasses on. Either that, or my pictures are a) old b) mirror selfies.
Guess I need to get a friend to take pictures...

[Paulitens]

Originally Posted by helpmelose

Thanks paulitens

That is amazing! So you guys went 3 years without meeting? How long have you guys been together now?

And thanks again!

This September we'll celebrate our 9th wedding anniversary, and we have been together for almost 13 years, since June 2001.

*sigh*

We've been through thick and thin together. Literally and figuratively. LOL