Way off the wagon, having surgery in 2 days and scared out of my mind
 

Hey guys,
In 2 days time I am having my tonsils out and my adenoids removed too, and I am scared out of my mind. I am so scared something will go wrong, I have a pretty big phobia of surgery and I dont know what to expect. I have had one visit with my surgeon, and I wasnt told much, only that its going to hurt and that he has been in the business for over 40 years. I know I wont be under anaesthetic long, its supposed to take an hour, but I am so scared something will go wrong. I cant sleep or eat. I havent exercised in at least 3 weeks, as I was told by my specialist not to exercise or to go to public gyms, etc because my immune system is weakened because I have been sick heaps lately. I feel fat, ugly and scared out of my wits. I'm not sure why I am writing this, but here it is.

Just relax. Tonsil surgery is pretty common and all will go well.

And don't worry about falling off the wagon. Getting through this surgery should be your first priority.

However when my roommate had the surgery she didn't want to be unhealthy so I made mashed sweet potatoes, smoothies, and pureed vegetable soup for her.

Why are you saying this to yourself? What does your weight and appearance have to do with surgery right at this moment? Don't take all this baggage with you into the surgery. Focus on one thing at a time and don't compound your anxiety with things that really don't matter at the moment.

I know it's scary to go into surgery, you're not alone there! It's really scary but you have to trust that this is for the best and the alternative to not having this surgery will be continued distress and illness. So focus on all the positive things that will result from this surgery!!

1. No more being ill all the time
2. You'll be well taken care of by your loved ones, you may even be waited on hand and foot!
3. Time off from work yey!
4. You're bound to lose a couple of pounds from not eating for a couple of days!
5. You'll get to eat ice cream soon enough!

I know it sounds like BS when people say "stay positive" but hope and positivity can get us through so much. Panic has never served anyone well.

My weight or appearance doesnt have anything to do with the surgery, but its all compounding. I weighed myself today and to my disgust, I have gained all the weight I had lost, even though I have been careful with what I have been eating, so I just feel like all my hard work, especially getting into a new mindset for weightloss, has been for nothing. I am also not going to be able to exercise for ages after my surgery, because my tonsils are huge, according to my surgeon. I am trying to be positive, but everyone is going on about how much it hurts and are trying to psyche me out of having the surgery and are going through every possible complication possible, from me coughing up blood to me dying on the table, and I am going out of my mind with fear because I am terrified of needles and I am worried something is going to go wrong.

Oh I'm sorry to hear that, why is everyone being so negative? You tell them to shut up! Say "hey listen, if you felt like cheering me up and rooting me on you failed miserably! Unless you have something positive to say then keep your trap shut." Lol, that's horrible I know but please don't bothering listening to those people. You are going to be fine! Don't worry about the exercise right now, you're trying to deal with too much. Sometimes I think that when people are very stressed out the worst thing they can do is step on the scale. Why do something that makes me you feel bad when you're already dealing with so much? Be kind to yourself and stay away from those negative people.
You are not going to die on that table!

You know what helps me when I have to have a medical procedure and I'm really scared? I think about the children's ward in the hospital. All those little kids with terminal diseases that are not equipped to deal with the hardships of illness. Think about the strength they exhibit and draw from that. If they can do it then you can too.

They never see the good in anything, and seemed to think I was just being lazy by not going to the gym or anything- the last time I had tonsillitis, I caught it from the gym, and my surgeon has told me if I got sick between when the surgery was organised to the time I have it, I cant have it, which will mean Im sick again, and will have to take more time away from uni, which I cant do right now. I have no other free time this year, it has to be now. But no, I am being lazy and I am clearly lying about all of that, according to them. And I wish I could avoid them, but I live with them, so I cant. I weighed myself today because I thought I would be at the same weight; I didnt expect to lose any, but when I had seen I had gained every single gram back, I lost it.

Tonsil surgery is barely even surgery. It's so fast, you're barely asleep before you wake up again. It "hurts" is a little subjective. It's not really anything more than having a sore throat. It's certainly not like the pain of most surgical procedures. Clearly these people are just enjoying getting you upset, and if I were you I'd stop allowing that to happen. Tell them to stuff it. Seriously, little tiny kids have their tonsils and adenoids out all the time. And you know what? They are usually stuffing their faces with ice cream right after, with a big smile on their faces. This is NO big deal, and your surgeon told you he's been doing this for 40 years. That means he's probably performed this same surgery thousands of times. That is a good thing.
I have no advice on the needle phobia because they don't bother me a bit. A tiny little thing like that isn't going to harm you. No worries!

Hi. I have been through multiple surgeries, so this is what I do: right before surgery, I close my eyes on the table and surrender everything in my life to God. It is very powerful. At that time, I know that I really am in God's hands, and if if die during surgery it's up to him to take care of my family. It is a simple act that puts it all in perspective.

If you're not religious, you could close your eyes and talk to Mother Nature, or the universe, or your version of a higher power. Thank her for your life, and ask her to care for you and be with you during and after the surgery.

If none of that appeals to you, emphasize to the doctor that you want strong pain meds available for use during recovery. Discuss specifically what he will offer, and ask if there's anything stronger available. Most of my pre surgical fear was fear of pain.

I could say the same thing about you right now, don't you think? It's normal to be scared but you're making things a lot worse by worrying on the wrong things.

I have a fairly high pain threshold and I have had surgery before. My fear of needles and of something going wrong comes from what happened in my last surgery. What was supposed to be a routine, 2 hour keyhole surgery, turned into me spending 9 hours on the table, a 12 inch abdominal scar, months of recovery and now I technically cant have kids. I also freaked out after beginning to wake up from the anaesthetic, ripping both needles out of my hand, casuing a massive panic attack and 2 ugly scars on my hands. So I might seem like I am being unreasonable, but this fear comes from experience. Im not scared of the pain, I am scared of not waking up, of something going wrong, or me waking up with needles in my hands again. I am trying hard to be positive and to not stress, but Im tired and its hard when I am constantly reminded that I am having surgery in 2 days when I am constantly the joke around here. I have just finished all but yelling at the people I live with for being negative, and its got me nowhere, as now they are starting to text me, and still think its a joke.

I'm a really anxious person who hates anything medical so I understand your apprehension! I wish you had more positive people in your life to help you during this stressful time.

I would just focus on getting through the surgery and not worry about your weight or fitness right now if you feel overwhelmed. If you are getting constant infections then the surgery will probably really help you in the long run and I think you'll be glad you did it.

Be sure to follow the post op directions and I'm sure you will be just fine. Maybe get the liquids and soft foods that you will be needing ahead of time so you'll be prepared.

A big hug to you that all goes well! Just imagine the relief you will have when it's all over and done with. Let us know how you are once you are home and settled.

Thankyou so much for all of your support. I turned to this page because I was looking for support as I dont have much of it where I am living right now. Surgery is the best option for me because I constantly had tonisllitis and ear infections which made me get run down, and when I was run down my Glandular Fever would flair up again making me sicker. I feel better after a sleep, and I know I will be in good hands during and after the surgery. I will be going home to my parents place for the better part of 2 weeks to recover, which will be good, and my mum and my boyfriend will be with me when I have my operation. Thanks so much again, you have all made me feel a bit better about the whole thing, and I will let you know when I am home.

I'm so glad that you have people to take good care of you!

When I was much younger I had tonsilitis and strep throat very often. A doctor told me much later that had I had my tonsils removed I wouldn't have struggled so much.

I think you will come through with flying colors. Will keep a good thought for you!

First of all, BREATHE.

I had my tonsils out when I was an adult and believe me, it was no biggie.

One suggestion though, get a stash of protein drinks, put them in the fridge, and then you'll have a ready to drink meal.

Good luck and remember, "Your Team" is sending good thoughts and prayers to you. Keep us posted.

God Bless.

Dear caldawg89:

Please post as soon as you are able and let us know how you are doing.

For me, the anxiety of waiting for something and imagining how terrible it could be is far worse than the actual experience. I can't even begin to count the thousands of hours I have wasted worrying about things that turned out not to be bad at all.

I am keeping you in my thoughts for peace, health and happiness. :hug: