Are you comparing the two guys because you want to try and choose between them? This sounds incredibly over used but there ARE plenty of fish in the sea. If you're not totally feeling it with someone you shouldn't waste your or their time.
I definitely think attraction depends on personality but if you already recognize all the great parts of your friend and are still not physically attracted to him then it's probably not going to change in the future.

Scary stuff, hope you listen to what everyone is saying and sort things out.

The 36 y.o. guy is not your boyfriend. I dunno what word to use, maybe he's your user, but that is not a boyfriend. I'm sure you're a great girl and everything but think about why he is with someone as young as you. You are young and inexperienced and susceptible to be easier controlled than someone more appropriate to his age. Now, that's not saying that he's more mature than you. He clearly is not.

Just see what happens with your friend. I wouldn't jump into anything. You need to stop going back to this 36 y.o. and process this for what it is, a valuable life experience to never waste your time on someone like that.

Under no circumstances should you resume a "relationship" with the 36 y.o.

Beta men, if we're categorizing them by manosphere terms, make excellent husbands. Love can grow with just about anyone who is compatible with your worldview, if you nurture it and both of you work hard on a healthy relationship. It's pretty obvious your ex needs to remain your ex, and he needs to be far away at all times from your person. But if you're looking for a relationship longer term it sounds like your friend fits the bill beautifully.

Stay safe.