For the last month or so I've been having some really crazy dreams... they are almost like nicotine patch dreams for anyone who has experienced those. I've been wanting to write them down, but never seem to find the time.
The one I had last night was sad and disturbing, so I feel like I need to write it somewhere and see what other people might think about it. I know this isn't a dream interpretation forum or anything, so I hope it's not too off topic to post here.
Well, as the title says, I dreamed that my ex died. But I feel like I need to give some background on the relationship before I go into the dream.
I knew him for ten years before we dated, we have a lot of mutual friends. We dated for nine months. While the relationship was not perfect (obviously, we aren't together anymore) it was a really unique relationship in some very positive ways. For one, he was the only man I've ever dated who actually understood my vision problems and didn't give me crap about them or insinuate that I was faking. Some of you might remember my thread about this... I am legally blind in both eyes and have severe tunnel vision. This makes driving impossible. But other then that, I function normally. Normal functioning is what causes people to think I'm just faking, exaggerating, etc. He was completely blind in one eye. He also didn't drive because of this, but like me he also lived a pretty normal life. So, that was one way him and I bonded. He was also one of the few people I've dated who didn't have some kind of ex girlfriend hangup. I don't know why those types always find me. But I usually end up with guys who are either still in love with the ex, or the ex hurt them really bad and they decided to take all that anger toward her out on me. He didn't do this.
But, as mentioned, we did break up. It was the worst breakup I've ever been through. But I survived. We still talk occasionally. He is one that I think I will always carry a small torch for, even if it didn't work out. I am with someone else now.
So... in the dream he died. But I don't know how. And I remember being pissed off that no one actually told me. I learned about his death by seeing some of our mutual friends posting about it on facebook.
And someone told me he was being buried with a key to my apartment. I guess in real life I wouldn't mind this, even if it's bizarre. But in the dream there was no way I was going to let this happen. So, one of my friends and I broke into the funeral home the night before the funeral to steal the key.
So we got in there, and he was laying in a casket, all ready for the funeral. He was wearing a suit, which I thought was so strange. He never wore a suit in his life. And the morticians did such a bad job on his hair. He had really long curly hair... and it looked awful. The suit he had on had a lot of pockets... and I remember thinking why did it have to have so many? Because I had to look in all of them before I finally found the key. I found it in the last pocket. In another pocket there was also several hundred dollars. I thought for a split second about taking the money too, but decided not to. My thoughts were along the lines of "Well, I'm already committing a felony, why not take the money?"
My friend kept telling me to hurry up. She was acting as a lookout while I was digging around in his pockets. When I was done and it was time to go, I stood there for a second looking down at him. I touched his face and said goodbye and that I would always miss him. And I even shed a few tears. It's actually making me tear up a little now just writing it.
So we left... and the next day I was at the funeral. I felt so paranoid that someone was going to discover that I stole the key. I had the key with me too, in my pocket. I kept reaching in my pocket to feel it and make sure it was still there and didn't fall out. No one found me out I guess. I woke up shortly after that.
I really don't know what made me dream this. My current boyfriend just told me he loved me for the first time this past weekend... maybe that has something to do with it, idk. I've been waiting for a long time to hear that from him. Maybe this means it's time to bury the past, (no pun intended.)
Does anyone have any thoughts or comments?