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-   -   Lurkers: why don't you post? (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/general-chatter/286854-lurkers-why-dont-you-post.html)

luckymommy 08-28-2013 02:56 PM

Lurkers: why don't you post?
 
Hello lurkers,

I'm not sure if any of you will be willing to come out and post in order to satisfy my curiosity ;) but I was just wondering why you don't post?

Thanks for any input! :hug:

patchworkpenguin 08-28-2013 03:00 PM

We can always use more people to talk to!

shishkeberry 08-28-2013 03:16 PM

I lurk a lot because my only internet is my phone. Typing sucks. :p

EskaDee 08-28-2013 04:27 PM

I wouldn't exactly describe myself as a lurker on this board, but I do lurk on a couple of other boards ;-) My main reason is that I often don't feel like I have anything worth contributing to the conversation, either that or, due to the fact that I am in the UK and most contributors are in the USA, all the good things have already been said while I was sleeping!!! It can be difficult to break into a board where it feels like everyone is close and already knows each other, but I must admit that I felt so much at home when I discovered this board that I wanted to just leap in. I love all you guys!!! I hope more lurkers come out of the woodwork and join in. It's tricky though!

need2loseit 08-28-2013 05:05 PM

I will admit, I am a lurker. :o I have been a member for a while and the advice and positivity of this board has helped me lose almost 50 pounds! :carrot: I think I lurk rather than engage because it IS difficult to break into threads when others seem to already get along so well. Which is quite odd because in real life I have no problem breaking into groups...hmmm....that is something to contemplate, and I will definitely try to contribute more.

Arctic Mama 08-28-2013 05:10 PM

I lurk often, even though I'm also a poster. Sometimes it is just that I have nothing useful to add to the conversation. More often, it is that I can read a snatch here or there, but spending the time responding is more than I can do while nursing/schooling/running errands/managing the home, etc. A five second read vs needing hands free for a few minutes of typing is too much these days, for all but brief period online. And then that time when I can type is spent doing other Internet related things that have to be completed. So I read, but my posting is sparse much of the time.

EagleRiverDee 08-28-2013 05:12 PM

I fall into the sometimes lurker category and yes, like the other's said when I don't post it's usually because I either have nothing to contribute or my contribution has already been stated by one or more people already and wouldn't offer anything new to the OP. I also will often avoid anything controversial.

Harriette 08-28-2013 05:24 PM

I mostly Lurk because I do not think my advice will help! or because other people say things better, or because I do not want to put too much personal info out there! Last time I lost 60 lbs I really wanted to share my pics but was afraid of putting them out there for the internet to have! (I had some amazing pin-up pics taken that would be prime steal candidates! :o ) As it was, I simply looked at the before and after pics myself and was happy. After I gained it all back due to injury I was leery of posting too much since I was unable to maintain the loss... But regardless, I read every day at least once. More if I am feeling the urge to binge or cheat.

starbrite 08-28-2013 06:15 PM

I am a sometimes lurker. If I don't post it's because someone else has already said what I was thinking. Also, occasionally, I feel a wee bit intimidated by those that reply with a vehemence and arrogance that make me want to scream!

df180 08-28-2013 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbrite (Post 4827194)
I am a sometimes lurker. If I don't post it's because someone else has already said what I was thinking. Also, occasionally, I feel a wee bit intimidated by those that reply with a vehemence and arrogance that make me want to scream!



^^^ :)

Buffinlovin 08-28-2013 07:09 PM

I lurk more than I post, although I'm not necessarily a lurker, per se. I feel comfortable posting on general stuff, but there are some people on here that are more knowledgeable on specific things (likes specific types of diets, research, studies, etc), and I'd feel uncomfortable posting in those threads because the knowledge I have is peanuts compared to that (but I love to read them...I love soaking up the knowledge!).

Jacqui_D 08-28-2013 07:27 PM

I love reading what everyone has written here! Need2loseit, I especially love that you came on here and posted a reply to this! Your first post and you've been a member since 2011? How exciting! Thank you for sharing with us that this site helped you lose nearly 50 lbs! That's awesome and inspirational! Good for you! :dance: I hope others will come out of the lurker closet. We want you all to join in! There is always room for more chicks (and roosters)! :D

Madame Souza 08-28-2013 09:02 PM

I used to post. I am mostly maintaining now and not trying to lose weight . I don't come on the board frequently enough to post and by the time I get to a thread, what I would say has already been said.

kaplods 08-28-2013 09:20 PM

I'm a very active poster here. Rarely a day goes by that I don't post something here, but I lurk on several other sites, for some of the same reasons posted already. I may be less familiar with the site, less interested in threads I find, feel I have nothing to add, may feel less connected to the group, or might not want to sink more time than I already spend here.

I would guess there are as many reasons for not posting as there are for posting.

mariposssa 08-28-2013 09:43 PM

Sometimes I lurk and sometimes I post. It tends to go in phases. There are a couple of reasons. One being if I am on my tablet or phone I mostly just read. Another common reason is because what I would say has already been said. Finally, occasionally...maybe also going in waves, there is sometimes snarkiness or drama that I just tend to ignore most of the time. I have enough drama in my life and if I wanted more I know how to find the Lifetime channels. ;) Most of the time here it is confined to a couple of threads which is good; this was meant to be a place for support not snark, IMO.

luckymommy 08-28-2013 10:21 PM

Thank you all for posting! I just want to say that those of you that feel that they haven't connected with the group....well, that part surprises me because I post all the time and I don't feel that I'm really connected anymore than anyone else. Meaning, I feel comfortable posting just about anywhere...it's IRL that I have more of an issue with those types of feelings. ;)

Again, I appreciate your feedback because I had a feeling there are many lurkers who would have a lot to contribute.

If I don't post, it's usually if something has already been said, if I'm not knowledgeable or if my hands are busy but my eyes are available. ;)

VioletDolphin83 08-28-2013 11:22 PM

I post occasionally but most of the time I lurk. I usually don't have much to add because there are people here that are much better at giving advice than me. Also, there is so much about dieting I don't know so I learn a lot by lurking.

Only Believe 08-29-2013 09:17 AM

I read these was about to leave the thread and realized if I do and don't post then I was just lurking..:lol:

need2loseit 08-29-2013 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jacqui_D (Post 4827244)
I love reading what everyone has written here! Need2loseit, I especially love that you came on here and posted a reply to this! Your first post and you've been a member since 2011? How exciting! Thank you for sharing with us that this site helped you lose nearly 50 lbs! That's awesome and inspirational! Good for you! :dance: I hope others will come out of the lurker closet. We want you all to join in! There is always room for more chicks (and roosters)! :D

Thank you! I have found this site to be incredibly informative and with such amazing advice. It was through this site that I discovered calorie counting. While it seems such a simple concept, I was unable to FULLY instill it in my lifestyle until I found this site. I still have about 15 pounds to lose, but I have managed to maintain what I did lose. I truly believe "dieting" is a lifestyle change, and now I know that I am healthier now for my beautiful children!

Jacqui_D 08-29-2013 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by need2loseit (Post 4827642)
Thank you! I have found this site to be incredibly informative and with such amazing advice. It was through this site that I discovered calorie counting. While it seems such a simple concept, I was unable to FULLY instill it in my lifestyle until I found this site. I still have about 15 pounds to lose, but I have managed to maintain what I did lose. I truly believe "dieting" is a lifestyle change, and now I know that I am healthier now for my beautiful children!

Yes, it really is a lifestyle change. I've yo-yo dieted so often and I am so ready to get off that roller coaster. I started a little higher in weight than you and I'm a little taller, but my goal is also to go to 145, so seeing you lose the weight that you have so far and knowing you've been able to maintain it is fantastic! :cp:

Liz31 08-29-2013 05:54 PM

For me its because I don't have anything to say and even if I did have something to say no one would be interested in what I have to say anyway - sadly for me this isn't just on forums/internet, it goes for in life too, I feel no really listens to me or cares what I think or say, but thats life eh.

But I do think to myself I really should post more on here because so far you have all been really nice to me (thank you).

AwShucks 08-30-2013 10:39 PM

I don't post a lot, but I do jump in if I have something to say. Sometimes I feel like I'm that annoying girl that runs up to a gathered group and just bursts in on the conversation! I definitely don't feel like I'm part of the "popular crowd" like some of the very frequent posters. Some of the activity I see seems like people are growing really close through their interaction. I don't really feel that, but I tell myself that it's online -- it's not like I'm being purposefully snubbed.

I've been surprised by some of the snark here, too. I stay out of those. Really, I liken it to overhearing an uncomfortable conversation out in public. It's just kind of hard to ignore, but I don't want to participate.

True story: Today while I was out shopping a girl was having an argument with her boss on her cell phone and got fired! I couldn't believe that I was party to that conversation, and then the subsequent conversation she had with her boyfriend over what transpired... drama

So -- to anyone out there. Post. Put in your two cents. You might not get any feedback, but your opinion is as valid as anyone else's here.

Cali Doll 09-03-2013 06:05 PM

I flit back and forth between being a regular poster and a lurker. Usually, my posting frequency changes with my commitment to healthy eating (sadly) or as a result of time constraints.

Psav 09-05-2013 03:19 PM

I haven't posted before because I have been reading everything in sight! I find everyone's posts extremely helpful. I have learned a lot since I started in May of this year. I will start posting now. Thanks for the nudge! Since May I have lost 30 lbs and when I feel the urge to go off plan....I just continue reading everyone,s responses.
Thank you all who do respond because this is what keeps me going!

Keywis25 09-05-2013 05:21 PM

I normally don't post because I don't think my advice is any good because I am and have been overweight forever so what input can I be.

joyc21 09-05-2013 08:31 PM

I guess I'm technically considered a lurker since I only average about 43 posts per year.I enjoy reading the boards, but I rarely post for many of the same reasons listed above. I often have nothing useful to add or my opinion has already been shared by Others.
I'm also an extreme introvert both in real life an online, so I don't feel comfortable creating my own threads. I know that's weird.

Blondedoris 09-05-2013 08:54 PM

I lurk on these boards as I don't feel I can add anything or that my advice would be helpful lol
It's comforting to read the boards and not feel alone, and know that other people are feeling the same things I have.
If I feel I could contribute something I'd chip in tho
:D

Eat 09-06-2013 09:32 AM

Besides many of the same reasons already posted, I'm a generally quiet person. It's the basic rule of "it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

Plus, a lot of people are just too argumentative. It can be exhausting to make a post and then have to defend it by posting several studies and make sure your wording can't be construed several different ways. Then, someone with a higher post count comes along and says, "That's not what I've heard" or "You're dead wrong" without anything to back it up and suddenly, all of your "defending" posts are null and void. I've been in those kinds of discussions in the past and I find it's just easier to lurk. Some people tend to not let evidence get in the way of a good "they say" theory. ;)

I'm more likely to contribute in a thread about favorite movies, favorite songs, or favorite movie songs than a thread about "low carb vs low fat".

Finally, JohnP and I seem to have very similar beliefs and he writes a lot better than I do. I would just end up quoting his post and typing "+1". Not much a contribution. :^:

Miss Fitt 09-09-2013 12:20 PM

I don't post very often because usually I don't have anything positive to report (like over the summer I gained 3.7 pounds, wa-a-a) and I'm so on the fence about dieting in general. Yes, I want to lose some weight; but can't commit to one type of plan, and the whole restricting of food and what I want to eat is just so hard! One morning I wake up and think yes, I can do this; but then by dinnertime I've blown it. The next morning I wake up and say screw this dieting nonsense, I'm not doing it! I'm like some sort of split personality weirdo when it comes to food and dieting.

But, I like coming here and reading other people's posts. I always like a good success story!

I guess I better go and change my stats....boo, hoo!

Song of Surly 09-09-2013 09:45 PM

I go through spells of being more active to complete lurkerdom. Sometimes I'll find a random topic, like this, that peaks my interest and is quick to reply to. The rest of the time, however, I enjoy scrolling through and reading what everyone has to say. I can get a lot more of that done than replying, and there's a wealth of knowledge around here. If I do tend to post, however, it will be in response to a personal confession, something random and chatty, or something controversial socially that I can put my two cents in. There's more than enough wealth of diet information to go around here, so I don't even try, unless to just share my personal approach.

I've also, on multiple occasions, written a whole response to a thread just to not post it. It's like I get close to the end of it, and I say, "Ah, that's not worth finishing." It's so bizarre.

Deana509 09-09-2013 10:15 PM

I've tried to become more active, but I guess I just feel like Im not really qualified to post yet since I am just starting out here.... But I've been trying to post at least once a day.. but it always seems like Im a thread killer...

mariposssa 09-10-2013 12:43 AM

Song of Surly, I do that, too. Type up a whole thing and decide not to post it for any number of reasons. Sometimes, because it isn't worth saying or because you shouldn't feed the bear, or because I'm making an effort to bring positivity to my life, my WOE, this board, the world in general. Not trying to be some goody two shoes person, I think snarky things and sometimes post them; but I usually try to bite my tongue. It is just that I feel like there is more than enough of that here, on the internet, in life in general and I'm just trying to be the change I wanna see in the world. Rescuing the universe from negativity one post at time. :dizzy: :p

Kiwi13531 09-10-2013 12:58 AM

You can call me a lurker. I am just starting this journey and i'm trying to pick up as much wisdom as I can as I take the first steps. I'm really nervous about my weight loss but reading the inspiring stories here, I am growing my confidence. I hope to not remain a lurker as I start hitting mini goals and even road blocks looking for support and encouragement along the way. This is an amazing site that reminds me, anything is possible!

Suzll 09-13-2013 02:41 PM

I've always been pretty shy, IRL and online. I feel that I have a hard time communicating effectively and getting my point across how I want.

Before I post something I re-read it multiple times making sure it doesn't sound funny or whinny or crabby, and then a lot of the time I just delete it anyway, lol!

I've recently returned to to this forum after some time away and actually do intend on becoming more active in the group to receive (and give if I'm able) support. We'll see if I can!


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