Is it really weird to be 26 and a virgin? I think my weight has been something that has me scared about that too. I dont think I'll ever wear a bikini, let alone let someone see me naked at this size!! but I have a lot of fears I can't get over =( can't tell if these are obvious to the people who see me. !
I'm 28 and the only way I've found to decribe my experience in life is as "forever alone". I'm a virgin, never been kissed, no past relationships, and never been on a real date. As much as I'd like to blame this soley on my weight in the past, I know my situation is more closely related to my almost crippling anxiety about being intimate with someone which I'm sure has everything to do with being teased and bullied in school BUT I'm an independant woman who supports and takes care of myself and while I get sad sometimes, I'm content if this is how its meant to be.
Here's the kicker though and your thread has hit at the most perfect time...
Almost 2 months ago I went to visit a friend that had just moved 3 hours away. We went out dancing at a bar she goes to pretty often. I was introduced to a guy when we walked in that she knew just from going to the bar and later in the night we started dancing. Fast forward a month and he starts facebook messaging me and we ended up starting to text each other and he invited me to a party this weekend. I leave tomorrow after work and am scared out of my mind! I'm not scared to talk to him but I'm terrified for him to see me again. I'm trying to tell myself that he's seen my pics on facebook. He knows what I look like. He knows roughly what size I am (a size im damn proud of btw). But its no use and what terrifies me more is if we hit it off and the conversation turns to past relationships and experiences and I've got nothing. It honestly makes me feel like a freak!
And if all he's wanting is a hook up, that's not happening and he's not the one for me... I'm just really hoping that's not ALL he's about because we've seemed to hit it off.
Sorry for the rant and hijacking your thread. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.
Last edited by KellinaKatrina; 07-26-2013 at 01:28 AM.
Thank you! You just made my day. I started out using Diet To Go which worked great because they did the calorie counting for me. It got to be too expensive for me so now I am calorie counting. I haven't really been exercising a whole lot other than hiking with my dogs once every week or two and mowing the lawn. I seem to still be losing weight despite doing it all on my own, so knock on wood that the trend continues.
That's awesome! I gotta look that up! Although that sucks that it's expensive =/ I hope it continues!! I just started back on a diet plan and i'm trying out a few things so we'll see where it goes. I wish things like ww were cheaper for people!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by KellinaKatrina
I'm 28 and the only way I've found to decribe my experience in life is as "forever alone". I'm a virgin, never been kissed, no past relationships, and never been on a real date. As much as I'd like to blame this soley on my weight in the past, I know my situation is more closely related to my almost crippling anxiety about being intimate with someone which I'm sure has everything to do with being teased and bullied in school BUT I'm an independant woman who supports and takes care of myself and while I get sad sometimes, I'm content if this is how its meant to be.
Here's the kicker though and your thread has hit at the most perfect time...
Almost 2 months ago I went to visit a friend that had just moved 3 hours away. We went out dancing at a bar she goes to pretty often. I was introduced to a guy when we walked in that she knew just from going to the bar and later in the night we started dancing. Fast forward a month and he starts facebook messaging me and we ended up starting to text each other and he invited me to a party this weekend. I leave tomorrow after work and am scared out of my mind! I'm not scared to talk to him but I'm terrified for him to see me again. I'm trying to tell myself that he's seen my pics on facebook. He knows what I look like. He knows roughly what size I am (a size im damn proud of btw). But its no use and what terrifies me more is if we hit it off and the conversation turns to past relationships and experiences and I've got nothing. It honestly makes me feel like a freak!
And if all he's wanting is a hook up, that's not happening and he's not the one for me... I'm just really hoping that's not ALL he's about because we've seemed to hit it off.
Sorry for the rant and hijacking your thread. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.
No need to be sorry! Hijack away! I'm so glad I'm not alone on this because I don't have one friend that I can really relate to about this stuff.
Girl you need to go to this party!! That's sound a great way to mingle! I know what you mean I'm a little traumatized by the whole past relationship thing, but trust me I ask for a lot of advice from the few guy friends i have and a lot of guys would rather you have less partners than a ton, so I don't think it could go too bad!
Unless of course, it's a hook up, but you wouldn't want that anyway. and don't be scared!! I know i know much easier for me to say, but he def knows what you look like, and after a month of meeting he messaged you so clearly he had been thinking about you!! Let us know how it goes!! and great job on your weightloss!!
Btw got a message today from POF, asking me what my 3b's were?? Anybody know what that is? I've been googling it now and then and all I get are gpa calculators! lol
Thanks hun! I'm actually really glad you posted. Its nice to vent this to someone who gets it rather than the "you have no reason to be nervous". Really? No reason, huh.
I have a bff that's almost 25 and is a virgin but she's at the top of the list of people who don't understand and we've never really talked about it before.
I'm 28 and the only way I've found to decribe my experience in life is as "forever alone". I'm a virgin, never been kissed, no past relationships, and never been on a real date. As much as I'd like to blame this soley on my weight in the past, I know my situation is more closely related to my almost crippling anxiety about being intimate with someone which I'm sure has everything to do with being teased and bullied in school BUT I'm an independant woman who supports and takes care of myself and while I get sad sometimes, I'm content if this is how its meant to be.
Here's the kicker though and your thread has hit at the most perfect time...
Almost 2 months ago I went to visit a friend that had just moved 3 hours away. We went out dancing at a bar she goes to pretty often. I was introduced to a guy when we walked in that she knew just from going to the bar and later in the night we started dancing. Fast forward a month and he starts facebook messaging me and we ended up starting to text each other and he invited me to a party this weekend. I leave tomorrow after work and am scared out of my mind! I'm not scared to talk to him but I'm terrified for him to see me again. I'm trying to tell myself that he's seen my pics on facebook. He knows what I look like. He knows roughly what size I am (a size im damn proud of btw). But its no use and what terrifies me more is if we hit it off and the conversation turns to past relationships and experiences and I've got nothing. It honestly makes me feel like a freak!
And if all he's wanting is a hook up, that's not happening and he's not the one for me... I'm just really hoping that's not ALL he's about because we've seemed to hit it off.
Sorry for the rant and hijacking your thread. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.
In the event that past relationships come up (which it very well may not) you can always dodge it with something like "there hasn't been anyone significant." I definitely think you should go and give it a shot. As nerve wracking as it can be to push yourself into a social situation, I hate the "what if" feeling of skipping it more.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklesgirl007
Btw got a message today from POF, asking me what my 3b's were?? Anybody know what that is? I've been googling it now and then and all I get are gpa calculators! lol
I googled "dating sites-3b"... got a bunch of BBQ sauce sites and one that said Brains/Body/Beauty. That sounded plausible, except the question doesn't entirely make sense with that. But it wouldn't be the first time a guy on one of those sites was completely incoherent.
Thanks hun! I'm actually really glad you posted. Its nice to vent this to someone who gets it rather than the "you have no reason to be nervous". Really? No reason, huh.
I have a bff that's almost 25 and is a virgin but she's at the top of the list of people who don't understand and we've never really talked about it before.
Same here lady! My bff doesn't even know I'm a virgin!! So it's kinda awkward when she starts telling me about all the guys she hooks up with! All I think about is how unsafe it must be, but it's completely different for her.
Did you go to the party or is it tonight?! Come and let us know what happened! I went to foreign exchange today and managed to squeeze myself into a small!! crazy! haven't seen that little S in a looooong time lol
Hope you have/had a fantastic time at this party!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aclai4067
In the event that past relationships come up (which it very well may not) you can always dodge it with something like "there hasn't been anyone significant." I definitely think you should go and give it a shot. As nerve wracking as it can be to push yourself into a social situation, I hate the "what if" feeling of skipping it more.
I googled "dating sites-3b"... got a bunch of BBQ sauce sites and one that said Brains/Body/Beauty. That sounded plausible, except the question doesn't entirely make sense with that. But it wouldn't be the first time a guy on one of those sites was completely incoherent.
I totally agree about the "what if" situation. There have been so many things in my life that i have not done due to my weight when i shouldn't have. Good thing now I know better!!
Ugh so I messaged that guy, and he replied back with this " wtf serious? boobs, belly, butt, i need digits girl"....yeah i give up on online dating. maybe one day when i build up the courage and have enough $$ I'll pay for eharmony lol
Ugh so I messaged that guy, and he replied back with this " wtf serious? boobs, belly, butt, i need digits girl"....yeah i give up on online dating. maybe one day when i build up the courage and have enough $$ I'll pay for eharmony lol
Oh my gosh! I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I'm so glad I'm 20 years older than you girls. Men my age can be aggravating, but I don't know what I'd do if a guy asked me that! I've heard some weird/crude comments, but that takes the cake. Yeah... like you would want to date a guy like that...
It's a big world, girls. Keep looking for the one that YOU want -- Mr. Dreamy! Don't settle for less. Repeat -- Do. not. settle.
Update: I went up for the weekend to go to this party. The friends I was staying with took it upon themselves to change up the plans and I ended up watching 2 games of beer pong with guys they had invited and then detoured to a bar out of the way and not in the plans so the party was over by the time we made it to the bar near his house. Drunk and irritated, I found my guts and tracked down his roommate at the bar and asked where he was. Found him, said sorry for flaking, and danced the better part of 2 hours with him.
I really need to work on a visit that is just me and him sober. I think the best part for me though is I could tell he thought I looked hot.
I share your hesitation about online dating! I tried it once and it led to me settling for someone out of loneliness and trying to get over someone else. Let's chalk that one up as a learning experience. But I do have a friend that met her fiance online.
I don't know if anyone has suggested this, but do you have any hobbies at all? I've found that I've met really cool people ( not just guys) just doing things that I'm into. Meet ups, art classes, music stores, etc etc.
I agree with what someone earlier said about no sex being better than risky or lousy sex. There are ways around needing a partner but once you find one you aren't really into, they can be hard to get rid of! That sounds so mean. But you know.
Dating is scary at any age, any time! Don't worry about posting so much, I hope posting about it helps!
Update: I went up for the weekend to go to this party. The friends I was staying with took it upon themselves to change up the plans and I ended up watching 2 games of beer pong with guys they had invited and then detoured to a bar out of the way and not in the plans so the party was over by the time we made it to the bar near his house. Drunk and irritated, I found my guts and tracked down his roommate at the bar and asked where he was. Found him, said sorry for flaking, and danced the better part of 2 hours with him.
I really need to work on a visit that is just me and him sober. I think the best part for me though is I could tell he thought I looked hot.
Oh man don't you hate when people change plans without telling you?! Have had that happen numerous times! I'm glad you got to see him AND DANCE!!! That's sounds awesome!!
yes I think a sober date would be amazing and you could get to know each other better Look at you lady!! So happy for you!
I actually met up with a friend today and ended up spilling everything to her that i had bottled up inside and it felt great! She has had a lot of bf but is now single and she said it's better to have no bf than to start looking and finding one just of loneliness, it made me feel a lot better, just thought I would share that!
StrangeJourney: thank you for the advice I do have many hobbies unfortunately it consists of many many girls haha (makeup shopping etc) but I do think i need to get out and be more fit when it comes to outdoor activities maybe like hiking? Time to give it a shot I think!
yes I think a sober date would be amazing and you could get to know each other better Look at you lady!! So happy for you!
Thanks!
So quick update! First date is Saturday. Not only first date with him, first date EVER! I'm only mildly freaking out at the moment. I'm sure full blown meltdown will happen in the car driving tomorrow night.
I don't know who this girl is that I'm becomming but I really want to like her and stay brave. It's really hard pushing back the insecurities and memories of how previous attempts at putting myself out there went horribly wrong and I feel like I'm scarred from how hurtful they were.
I'm a big brave dog, I'm a big brave dog... (Chuckie Finster--Rugrats)
I started out using Diet To Go which worked great because they did the calorie counting for me. It got to be too expensive for me so now I am calorie counting. I haven't really been exercising a whole lot other than hiking with my dogs once every week or two and mowing the lawn. I seem to still be losing weight despite doing it all on my own, so knock on wood that the trend continues. 
what's a girl to do!
