I just need a place to dump some stress! Thank you for being here.

It's all over some inheritance, farms, etc., that 50 years ago, made sense. Now it does not. My inlaws are locked in a battle of "stuff/property and emotions!
They are old, they bought a lake house, they just want to give up the farming, they can't do it anymore, and go hang out and fish.

They are in there 70's. However, Great Gramma, who is 97, can't figure out why they do not want to keep farming?

Long story short, my DH is stuck in the middle of this mess, he comes to me for advice. *deep sigh*

I'm of a different sort. Long story short. I'd tell who ever to take the stuff/farm, stick it, I'm gone fishing.

I've told him, they just need to step off the merry go round and go fishing.

That will never happen

I am just so sick and tired of hearing about, I deserve this, this one does not deserve that, Great Gramma, (thankful for that much family), threatens to sell or dis own, or whatever!

Come on people! It's just stuff!

I am so thankful, that my family does not act that way. My sisters and I, and my mother had a talk about my mothers house last weekend.

Our middle sister would like the house.

Without going into a long story, myself and my other sis, are, like, OK!

I have a place, my youngest sis has a place. My middle sis, lives at the college where she works. If she want's our Mom's old house! Go for it!

Anywho, I'm fed up to my little blue Swedish eyeballs, dealing with the b**ching and fighting and who gets this, who gets that, who deserves, who does not! Who is kissing Gramma's behind, to get the best deal!

I told my DH last night, when he asked my opinion, that they all needed taken out behind the out house and spanked, with a big ole tree branch for being selfish, and stupid, and then they needed to sit in a time out, according to age!

shcirerf

Hey-

I hear ya on family acting crazy at times. I joke with my family, saying that we put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional' but it isn't always fun, quite often it is enough to drive me up a wall, to the point where I am going to pull my own hair out! What I am learning through years of putting up with this ridiculous nonsense, is that only I can determine whether or not I let their acting crazy drive me up a wall. It is up to ME as to how I want to act after they act out of line. So, what I am saying, is as hard as it may be to separate yourself from them, especially when they act this way, try to think about what is healthy for YOU to do for YOURSELF, NOT THEM and to TAKE CARE OF YOU! If I were you, I would try to set boundaries with them as to whatever it is that you want to do so you feel less uncomfortable around them.

Don't let them control you, you are stronger and better than that. Life is too short to let other people drive you nuts.

You CAN get through this!! Take care of yourself.

Hang in there!!

PM me if you like, I'd be happy to email you about this, and ways to feel stronger around them. It would be nice to have a pal who understands what the craziness of family is all about.

Ps, your signature is awesome!

You'll get through this

Oh my. I hate being dragged into that sort of nonsense. How do you treat a bunch of adults behaving like children?!

They really do need to sit down together and talk through it.

I don't mean to be rude, but what happens when gramma passes and she has no say? Maybe if everyone really does want to appease her, someone should farm it for the duration of her years to make her happy if that's what they care most about. If not, buy gramma a nice gift or take her out to a nice lunch and explain farming is simply not a good way to make a living any longer (I should know, I live in farm country. haha, although i am not a farmer!)

Just don't let your hubby get stuck with it!

These situations are very hard to deal with. Especially for you because it sounds like you don't any have any emotional connection to the stuff/property. Unfortunately for them it's probably nor just stuff so emotions run high! When we don't have feelings for something it's very easy to see the clear path to the exit. It's much harder for them so you need tons of patience!! Good Luck.

It sounds like the farm has been in the family for a very long time so I can understand someone not wanting it to be sold or given up on.....I know too that people who lived through the Great Depression or were born to Depression-era parents are very connected to "stuff" because they probably didn't have any stuff for a very long time when they were younger.

As for you, I'd just try to stay out of the whole issue and let them sort it out. Minimal advice. Minimal listening. Maybe just being there for your DH but keeping your distance from the rest.

I can imagine that can become very frustrating. My husband is dealing with something similar, however the person has passed away, and I know he's really just had it. Everytime his aunt and uncle bring it up, my husband and I say its time to beat the dead horse again.

This is one good thing about my parents having nothing, there's nothing to pass on, nothing to fight over. I mean there's sentimental things, but nothing of value, no house, cars etc.

One of my favorite stories and it is a true story. My ex had an uncle, I will call him Uncle X, Uncle X and Aunt X had 3 adult children a daughter and 2 sons, so daughter , I will call her Cousin Y, who was not poor by any stretch of the imagination goes to Uncle X and says " Why don't you give me my inheritance now, while I am young enough to enjoy it ?"Uncle X's response to that was to call his attorney and have his daughter cut out of the will, she didn't get one cent. My response to that was to stand up and cheer, "Yay for Uncle X."
Greed will sometimes bite you in the butt.

Thanks for the listen!

It is a long story, that involves 4 boys and 4 farms, and yada, yada, so on and so forth.

I have no personal interest in this, and nothing to gain. My DH in the end has little or next to nothing to gain from the whole mess. Plus he is executor of the estate. This will be a nightmare!

It's just that all the drama, stresses out the hub, he has a heart issue, so it boils down to I have to keep check on his health, and I have to listen to his rants about the whole mess.

*deep sigh* This to shall pass!

Patience, patience, patience!

To a point. I'm real close to gathering the whole bunch and, even though I married in, telling the whole dang bunch they need a spanking and a big ole time out, to think about how they are acting!