Ditto what treasureBelle already posted. I am completely convinced that humankind is devolving back to some kind of animal status, where the only things that are important involve the four "F's" : feeding, fighting, flight, and , er, um, "reproduction." Oh, and the $%^&* "smartFones". I fantasize about inventing a small jamming device. I think the zombie apocolypse has already arrived.
FYI - that was me angrily mashing on the keyboard. I so need this thread right now.
Irritating Problem #1 - My interest is SO freaking slow right now, so I haven't been able to access the forum all day or get a lot of my work done!!!
Irritating Problem #2 - My ex husband has been texting me. He wants to take voice lessons from me because I'm a music teacher. I told him I didn't think that was a good idea, and he started commenting about how I'm just like my mom and how my current b/f must find it really hard to deal with me. It isn't that I care what he says, but there is nothing, absolutely NOTHING that I could EVER say to make him realize how much of an A$$HOLE HE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
100 Mother, I am sorry you are frustrated about your ex, and that would make me upset too. Can you assertively tell him to leave you alone or have you tried that and he doesn't listen? If he doesn't listen, much like my ex-b, I suggest blocking his number. If he doesn't respect your boundaries, that is a serious issue and I think enforcing boundaries with him is very important. It got so bad in my last relationship with my ex-b that we both called the cops on each other, and he called them on me because I called and emailed too often, there was also money involved. I wish he hadn't done that but I understand that now, so just don't hesitate to reach out for help.
So as far as my whining, here goes. First of all, I really want to focus on the positive this week and I am trying not to whine but I have been teary today thinking about my ex-b. I finally deleted the photos of us and him on my iPad and I took the one of us out of its frame and put it away. When I was on my walk today, I chatted with a local man that I know professionally and introduced my ex-b to for services. I told him what happened and he said "You're better off!! You're better off. You'll find someone." For some reason it really clicked in my mind for me to realize that this break up really is for the best because I was clinging onto memories of my ex-b for so long. I am nervous about dating again.
I am so so so sick of all these ailments that I have and I am tired of taking medications. I know that they make feel better but one of them is causing short term memory loss which is driving me nuts, if I let it.
I wish I were financially independent from my family and not on disability. I need to get a job but I have fears about the job stress and conditions. I wish I wasn't in such an awkward relationship with some members of my family.
Then something else happened tonight but I don't want to go into the details.
It just feels so good and like such a relief to type this out and get it out of my system instead of festering inside!!!
Thank you all for your listening ears and for making this site so special.
Seabiscut - thanks so much for the advice. Sorry for the delay in response, I literally just saw it. My ex and I still have a car financed together and that is why I cannot yet block his number. I don't have good enough credit to get refinanced on my own. That is something I'm working on, and the car should be paid off in a few months, so I'll definitely be blocking him then.
Also, good for you! Deleting those photos and moving. It doesn't matter how much other people say that it is for the best, we have got to realize that on our own, ya know? I even resented people for saying that about my ex, even though I agreed with them haha. Probably because he had reinforced that defense mechanism in me for so long, it was just habit.
Okay, so I've been thinking about posting in this thread, pretty much since I woke up. So I live in Seattle (originally from Texas). Seattle is the land of no central air conditioning, so when it warms up you have to open the windows. I don't know what it is, but if I sleep with the window open I just feel like crap the next day. Especially because last night it got kind of chilly. I should have got up to close the window but I didn't. Then this morning I was supposed to bike to work with a friend, but as soon as I woke up I realized that I needed my car at work today because I have to go pick up lunch for a meeting. Ug, so I get to feel like an uber crappy friend and text the chick at 4:45 AM to say we can't ride ... Then I decide to 'be good' and even though I can't ride I went to the gym to do a spin class. Yay! I love spin! Right? WRONG! I have never, NEVER left a spin class early. But this instructor was literally yelling at the class. I understand she was trying to motivate, but that kind of motivation just doesn't work for me. When she'd yell push PUSH PUSH I kinda just backed off. Totally feeling rebelious when being bullied like that. To me the music usually motivates me enough in spin class, but I couldn't even hear it over this woman. So yeh, I stuck it out for 30 minutes and then left. So, I got done at the gym a littler earlier than I thought, and was still feeling kind of ug, so I thought, "Hm, I've been craving jamba juice. I think I'll go get one and get some vitamin C to help me feel better." Googled Jamba Juice hours and the one closest to my work was supposed to open up at 6:30 AM. Great! Yay! Things are looking up. Drive over there, pull up, squint at the door, and there it is. Opens at 7 AM. SERIOUSLY!????? Grrrrrrrrrrr.
And you know, usually I could get over every one of those things but the freaking scale won't move. Seriously about to cry. I understand this takes time, but in the old days, lol when I was 25 or so, I know I would have dropped some major poundage by now. I've been counting calories and working out every day for ~8 days. I started out at 252, bounced down to 248 and now the scale says 250. The good thing is I don't really feel like binging...YET. But I'm stressed that I will. Not sure if that makes sense.
Okay, so now that I've complained plenty...this is the plan. 1300-1500 calories today, REST tonight...and I think I'm going to take a rest day from the gym tomorrow and 'sleep in' until 6 AM. Maybe that is what my body needs. Then Thursday morning I'm going to go to a different spin class with an instructor I know I love. And then on Friday I'm off! Yay for short weeks!
Thank you for listening, feeling a bit better, though if anything else happens I might have to come back later, haha.
I'm so sick of people treating me differently now that I've lost weight. All of a sudden guys are coming out of the woodwork and asking me out. And now everyone thinks I'm so interesting and wants to hang out with me. I hate that looks define us and its so depressing knowing that people really didn't consider me worthy before.
I friend of mine dropped a bombshell of a secret on me that he's kept from me for 2 YEARS. And, he actually said, "I thought I told you." Really? Don't you think if you would have told me this, I would have routinely asked about it?
And, to top it all off, he did it AT MY HOUSE! I'm so hurt, angry, confused. UGH!
I am doing well, I have lost a lot of weight, I workout but...
a) I am still obese according to BMI
b) I went shopping as I desperately need shorts (nothing fits from last year-that's good though) and I felt so mad because apparently the world is full of size 0, -2, -3 but not real people.
c) I have to work on Friday even though I should get back on Monday officially.
Rant #1 - I'm so sick and tired of not working. This is insane. I go on at least 1 interview a week and still nothing. Nothing. I haven't worked in 6 months and have been on unemployment for 4. We're behind on every.single.bill and I hate it. I hate having my mom help me pay for things for my daughter. I know I'm supposed to trust in the Lord and I know that he He has a plan for me...but come on already! Sheesh!
Rant#2 I'm very frustrated in the lack of movement on the scale. Instead of losing, I'm GAINING. Ugh. Then I see my best friend's food diary on MFP and even though she's eating Dairy Queen or Arby's or Starbucks every other day, her and her DH are LOSING. And she's not exercising and here I am running 3-4 flippin miles a day and I STILL can't lose. SO ANNOYING!!!
My boyfriend's lack of enthusiasm in bed is making me really hate my body. I feel really uncomfortable in my own skin right now and he doesn;t see that anything is wrong. I'm so hurt. Am I the only one this happens to? All of my girlfriends have no problem finding guys that are into them.
Today during my creative writing tutorial, I listened to the writing piece of one other student, a woman over 50, whose story was long-winded and repetitive in its description of the same scene from 4 different perspectives. There was a lot of extra lines in there that could have been trimmed without losing context and, in fact, it would have strengthened it. Well, she was having trouble finding a title, so I suggested one --since, for 4 weeks in a row my titles have been stand out. Did she thank me for it? No. She laughed at my suggestion and made it sound like I didn't get what her story was about at all. Last week she said my story was empty of emotion. I know that it was. I told all of my tutorial group that I had to cut it from 1900 words to 800 (I'm writing the group a story by adding to it week by week and apparently it was empty of the main character's emotions. Of course it was. It was the "bad guys" turn to have the main stage since the main character had already been explored).
To make things worse, later on when all of my classes had finished, I had put my sunglasses on in the brief chance that the clouds had lifted. When I got out of class and into daylight, so to speak, it was still cloudy but blue sky was starting to peek out. Plus, I was so tired today that my eyes were sensitive to the light. Anyway, as I was walking to my car, I had an awkward cross-over exchange with some older-looking guy and we were both going for the same place on the steps leading down to the food court. I took the lead and gave an apologising smile for stepping in front (because I'm insecure and nice like that), and then from behind me I hear, "Hollywood or Mafia?".
I said, 'sorry?' and he repeated himself, "Hollywood or Mafia?" The guy was criticising me because I was wearing my sunglasses on a cloudy day!
What I should have said if I had the guts or a quick mind!!!
The two choices I eventually came up with were a basic "f you" or a return retort "ignorant or a-hole?". I would have gone with the second.
What a dick....
I'm so sick of people treating me differently now that I've lost weight. All of a sudden guys are coming out of the woodwork and asking me out. And now everyone thinks I'm so interesting and wants to hang out with me. I hate that looks define us and its so depressing knowing that people really didn't consider me worthy before.
I agree with this one! Part of the reason I'm losing weight is because I want to be noticed and taken seriously!
I am sorry you are frustrated about your ex, and that would make me upset too. Can you assertively tell him to leave you alone or have you tried that and he doesn't listen? If he doesn't listen, much like my ex-b, I suggest blocking his number. If he doesn't respect your boundaries, that is a serious issue and I think enforcing boundaries with him is very important. It got so bad in my last relationship with my ex-b that we both called the cops on each other, and he called them on me because I called and emailed too often, there was also money involved. I wish he hadn't done that but I understand that now, so just don't hesitate to reach out for help. 
I know that they make feel better but one of them is causing short term memory loss which is driving me nuts, if I let it.
