Help me get over this crush...

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  • Ugh. I hate crushing. It never works out well for me. It seems like men only want to be with a woman if it was their idea first and I guess I'm just not very good at manipulating them into believing that lol. Luckily, as I got older, I stopped having them.
  • I also hate crushes. They upset my emotional equilibrium in such a way that I can't even be myself around the guy. I try so hard to cover up my feelings that I come off as stand-offish and aloof. I got a crush right now and I just want it to go away. I heard from someone else that he has a long-distance girlfriend and that she's hot and that he's very faithful. I did some stalki... I mean research, but I couldn't find anyone who fit her desciption on his FB friend list, nor is he listed as "in a relationship." So I don't know how accurate or current the information is. Either way, I would be absolutely TERRIFIED if he found out. I reeeeeeeally want this to be over with.

    I am curious to find out how the OP will fare with her crush. Will she tell him, or will she wait for him to say something to her?
  • mandypandy2246 Go with plans. Say, hey remember we were talking about cooking class? I saw a groupon for X, or The farmer's market is opening soon but one of the nearby farms has a jam I love that I can't stop thinking about I was thinking about taking the drive...

    Offer a concrete opportunity and see if he takes you up on it.
  • Being a shy male, I can tell you it's just as tough if not harder for some men to ask. Becoming friends is almost like dating to some men considering they have no courage to POP the question....trust me, I had a huge crush on a beautiful girl in highschool that come to find out liked me too. Life goes on but honestly, I would have been so happy if she would have been more couragous than me. I think it's hot when a girl knows what she wants and goes for it. now at 31 I am amazed at how many woment think I am hot....even being in my current state of fatness. haha. I think when you got some motion in the ocean you can rock the boat easier....if that makes sence...cause I am questioning it myself...
  • Had wonderful time. Did not tell him and realize now I don't plan to anytime soon. Perhaps after we become even better friends - we are still sort of feeling the whole thing out.
  • I think if you are having a wonderful time together and becoming even better friends, what is meant to be will be (or not, as the case may be).

    Who knows, maybe in his mind he thinks these *are* dates! Sort of like bbmains says above, my husband swears that we were dating about 3 months before I say we were dating. Before that, we were just going out as friends (in my mind, clearly not in his LOL). 24 years later, we still chuckle about it.

    Good luck! Enjoy what you've got and try not to stress too much about whether it moves into "more".
  • I just want to put in a plug for not putting off telling him for too long if you really want there to be a relationship (if you're just enjoying the feeling of the crush, this may be less relevant). I speak as someone who has personal experience with putting off telling someone how I felt because there was lots of time... and then an accident happened, and the person is gone. I know now that feelings were mutual, and the regret of not speaking up is something I live with every day.
  • Synchro - I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I don't have the words.

    Thanks for reminding me to seize life. I still don't think I'm ready to be brave. Mostly because socially, we both hang out with the same group now and I don't want to mess up the social dynamic should it not be recipricated ....
  • I think having crushes are the most fabulous thing ever. Having one now at 38 years of age, I feel like 17 again.

    Crushes rule. Ride the wave.
  • If the Farmer's Market was his idea....ask him to go with you! That way you can do something he came up with, showing interest, and spend time together!

    Make sure to pick up something yummy and then ask if he wants to come over and cook something up...win/win! (Grab a bottle of wine or whatever to help lighten y'all up!)

    His market idea and your cooking idea can easily be combined and lead to something more!