Thats what I was trying to get at too. I still think the OP needs to have a long talk with her friend. Like I said before it's not even just being disrespectful to YOU, it was disrespectful to the friendship. And that it what would worry me the most. I think it's a testiment to how she operates obstacles in her life, 17 year friendship or not.

If it were me I'd re-evaluate whats going on. If she can dump you off over text, and you throw fuel in the fire after (I don't mean that disrespectfully), then your friendship should be re-evaluated. 17 years or not, there's some resentment lingering as both of you were "sticking it" to eachother.

It sounds like she was being immature, and your attitude doesn't come across as worlds better. I think you both are over-reacting a bit and need to give it a few days, then talk in person honestly about what is really going on - which sounds like jealousy and pettiness all around. Her comments are unsupportive and rude, but I agree that the entire tone of your post sounds snarky and competitive for no good reason, too. And since she isn't here to defend herself, it's a fair assumption your representation of the situation is somewhat biased ;)

If you really want to be done with the friendship, then end it. But over IM and with snarkiness isn't the way to do it. That's immature, at best, and callous, at worst.

As usual, the cool voice of reason. I always look forward to your comments, JohnP. I agree every issue has at least 2 sides and it's so easy to get caught up in the emotion of the moment and not see that.

Nice.

But it is true.

I have to say, I like JohnP's comments because he gives a no nonsense guy's perspective on things, which is refreshing. Do I always agree with him? No, but these boards are not solely for everyone to just agree with each other all the time.

I also just wanted to say, honestly, if you are stressing out THAT much about planning your wedding, being a bridezilla and treating people and your friends and loved ones that way, then don't do something you can't handle. Get a grip, it's not death or a serious health issue, it's a party to celebrate love!

Don't you think it's a little ironic that you would lose friendships over the way you treated people due to planning a party to celebrate love??!

I agree with John, personally. I understand being in the heat of the moment and being upset, but OP should've definitely actually talked to her friend about the situation before being all, "K deleting you now!"

I found out over Facebook that my cousin, who's also been my best friend since birth, had her baby after not talking to me almost at all throughout her entire pregnancy other than to invite me to her baby shower and seeing her at a family reunion. I was pissed that she didn't call me, but instead of just being, "Well screw you!" I actually called her and was like, "Hey why couldn't you actually tell me you had your baby?" Come to find out she had an emergency c-section and didn't have time to talk to everyone. I know the situation isn't exactly the same, but when you actually make a point to have a mature conversation about something, you get their side of the story and while it might not be what you want to hear, you at least understand what's going on instead of just jumping to conclusions.

As far as John's concerned, one thing I've learned about him is that he's great at telling you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear. It may not be nice and pretty and sugar coated, but he means well and he's not out to hurt anyone. I know most of the time his heart's in the right place, even if I don't see eye to eye with him on everything he says. He's just being real, and there's nothing wrong with that.

All I have to say about that is... WTF. lol Even if I thought that secretly, I wouldnt ever say it.

All of the above, and honestly I'd end the friendship. A real friend would never treat another friend that way, and I don't have time for BS. "Wedding stress" isn't a valid excuse for the way she treated OP.

I think it's a pretty even spread of pettiness between men and women.

I know this is not the topic at hand, so I'll bow out of this thread at this point.

1. Talk with your friend face-to-face if she will agree to it when both of you are calmer. I have to wonder though since it was HER mom who made first contact...not her.
2. Decide if the friendship is worth hanging on to. This may take a great deal of soul-searching. But you have to think about it. Is it a benefit? Is it a hassle? Is it toxic? Or is it just a "security blanket"? Are you the only one working to keep the friendship together?
3. Think through your friendship. Is this a pattern with her? If she is that insecure & "blames" you for it, I don't see that as being a true friendship. It's a best a "fair weather" one. When things are fair, you're good. When they aren't, you aren't.
4. Trust you heart & your gut. Rarely does it steer you wrong.
5. Forgive. It will heal you. Forget? To a point, but DO NOT let yourself be a door mat.

In regards to what John said...NOT ALL WOMEN are petty. Many of us strive to be as far from petty people as we can, because we don't like them NOR the drama they bring with them. I didn't like them when I was in my teens & 20s & I REALLY don't like them in 40s. Petty people & drama can stay in those dumb "reality tv shows" that I REFUSE to watch!
There are things far more important: working, raising your children, living a healthy/productive life...to name just a few. Pettiness in my book is a sign of immaturity & utter selfishness.

"WAH!! She's prettier than me, I hate her!!!" :rolleyes:

She sounds VERY jealous! She's being snide and selfish. Drop her like a hot potato! You don't need that unnecessary stress in your life!

It is not petty to recognize destructive behavior. Yes, it is best to know when it is just stress related or a character flaw, however, you are trying to be healthy and her earlier comments seem to have been meant to derail your progress.

Bad behavior due to wedding stress is only acceptable on certain television shows. Even then it is ugly and questionable.

If she matters to you let her know how important your weight loss is to you and that it is not a competition. You taking care of yourself is about you - not her. If she really doesn't want you in her bridal party you should still attend the wedding(if you are still invited). It is only a couple hours out of your life and it marks a big change for her. If you continue your relationship at any point, you will want to share that memory.

I have a friend from elementary school who I didn't speak to for 7 years. We had a falling out about her boyfriend who hit on me. I told her but she believed his story. So, we lost touch. When I had a traumatic event in my marriage, I didn't have anyone I could call. So, I picked up the phone and called her. She opened her door to me and we rekindled our friendship. We have since gone through times of not speaking to each other but we know that it is not for lack of love for each other.

If you love her open your door.

I thought this too, the blanket statement of "how petty women can be" smacks of sexism. How about how petty PEOPLE can be?

"My boyfriend tells me men can be idiots and it's posts like this that just prove his statement." -- no, PEOPLE can be idiots.

I don't think anyone is arguing with his view of the situation -- it does look like everyone lost their cool in the moment and perhaps taking a step back and taking stock of the relationship is in order. In the end, after all, OP -- you're the only person who can decide if it's a relationship worth keeping.

MrsTryingAgain had a list of actions/feelings to assess in the situation that was spot-on.

I try really hard not to argue with people over text message. Tone is completely lost if you can't hear the other person's voice and they can't hear yours.

There are definitely two sides to every story and you should take a step back and try to honestly assess your actions to your friend. Doesn't make much sense to get bent out of shape over what she's doing since you have no control over her actions and only your own.

Either way, talk to her in person once you've cooled down and tell her how you feel. Maybe say, "I know how stressful your wedding prep must be but you really hurt my feelings with that text exchange."

Lastly, seems like you two shouldn't be fitness buddies. You need a buddy that will encourage, support and praise you. Staying committed to this journey is difficult enough without dealing with someone who's trying to tear you down.