Not in a good place, I'm officially single (again)
Well, after my last post 3 weeks ago, my then fiancé let me know that he wasn't in love with me. We talked and decided that we could work through this. Well, today he asked me to come home at lunch time because we needed to talk. I pretty much knew what was coming.
He took 80% of his stuff and gave me the house key back.
Again, he says he loves me but is not in love with me. I know I deserve to be with someone who is IN love with me. I know I need to be strong and move on with my life.
But this sucks. I thought he was the one. He was a part of my life, a part of my sons life.
Everything in the house reminds me of him. I've been through this too many times. I know everything will be ok, but its hard to convince myself of that today....and probably will be hard to feel like its ok for a while because I don't feel ok. I feel lost and broken and am dreading being alone.
Sorry to hear that your relationship has broken down
I guess the best thing to do in this situation is try and take your mind off things, focus your attention on your son, meet up with some girlfriends etc.
As you've said, you will be okay. Things will get better. Keep you head held high and don't be afraid to ask for support.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been a similar situation once, but in that one the guy wasn't in love with me but also wasn't leaving. I chose to leave him- I figured after 2 years if it wasn't there for him, it wasn't there. It was the best thing I've done, as it freed me to find my DH who does love me and is in love with me. I hope the same thing happens for you- that this ends up being a positive thing and allows you to find the real one for you and your son.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been a similar situation once, but in that one the guy wasn't in love with me but also wasn't leaving. I chose to leave him- I figured after 2 years if it wasn't there for him, it wasn't there. It was the best thing I've done, as it freed me to find my DH who does love me and is in love with me. I hope the same thing happens for you- that this ends up being a positive thing and allows you to find the real one for you and your son.
You're right. I feel like I've wasted the last two years on this man who doesn't know what the heck he wants or how he feels. It makes me angry to think I've given him my heart.
My heart goes out to you. Please be kind to yourself and make sure you are around friends, for a hug, for companionable times and for a reminder that people do care deeply about you and how you feel.
As you say, given time, it will get better but, for now, just believe in yourself and that this at least is the most honest course. You do deserve someone who loves you.
I'm sorry you're going through this but it's good you found out now. Being married and brokenhearted sucks a lot more than single and brokenhearted. Imagine getting married to a man, only to realize, he doesn't really love you and now you're stuck. He's just freed you up so that someone who understands how to treasure you, can.
If you give a man a diamond, and he sells it for $50, it certainly doesn't mean something is wrong with the diamond, clearly something is wrong with the man.
It's ok to feel the way you do right now, it's a normal response to loss. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and give yourself time to heal. {{hugs}}
I'm sorry you're going through this but it's good you found out now. Being married and brokenhearted sucks a lot more than single and brokenhearted. Imagine getting married to a man, only to realize, he doesn't really love you and now you're stuck. He's just freed you up so that someone who understands how to treasure you, can.
If you give a man a diamond, and he sells it for $50, it certainly doesn't mean something is wrong with the diamond, clearly something is wrong with the man.
Completely agree with the above.
First, I want to offer you many, many as I have been in a similar situation before. Except I had wasted almost 5 years of my life with a man who was confused, wishy washy, and eventually 'fell out of love' with me. I had devoted so much of my time, energy, and heart to this guy that I didn't realize how much I felt like I had been imprisoned into a life of unhappiness. When he broke things off, it hurt like h*** but it freed me, just like you have been freed. It may not seem like it now, but you are going to start feeling so much better and have tons of doors open for you. You deserve a man who will love you with everything they have just like you would do for them. Trust me on this, it gets SOOOOOO much better. You focus on making you and your son happy, the right man will come along, I know this to be true.
So sorry girl! (P.S. Can I just say what a huge doucher for making you come home at lunch to do that, good lord!)
I know the "you're better off" statements probably don't help a whole heck of a lot, but I think it's true!
I don't know if this will help at ALL, but there was an Oprah episode once where Wynonna Judd was one and she said "Lean into the pain", it hurts so bad and so intensely, but it's over more quickly. BIG hugs! And again, so sorry!
I'm sorry you're going through this. And I know the platitudes are of little comfort- "you deserve better," "you'll love again," etc. They are all true but, like I said, not of any help right now.
You're a strong lady and you're going to make it through this! Hang in there. Do nice things for yourself and be gentle with your heart.
I'm so sorry. There is no pain worse than a heartache in my opinion. I just overcame deep depression from my ex husband coming back into my life and then leaving me. I didn't think that I would ever get over it but I am getting stronger everyday and I know you will too. I hope you find true love soon.
I am 1 1/2 years out of an 8 year dead-end relationship. I went to a few websites to work through the hurt. Breakupsurvivor.com (I went to the forums) , baggagereclaim.com and I read the book "too good to leave, too bad to stay".
Breakupsurvivor allowed me tobe real with my pain and let it out with people in all stages of breakups. Baggage reclaim helped me identify warning signs in new relationships. TGTLTBTS helped me see why I shouldn't want to go back.
As others have said, it might hurt now but it is nothing like being in a loveless relationship. Take care.
We've all been there, some of us more than once. I know it sucks BAD but I am still glad he was honest and didn't drag you through a marriage/divorce. Not that it makes you feel any better right now but in the long run you'll be glad you dodged a bullet. My ex was having doubts about me but we went through with the wedding anyway. Needless to say I had a horrible marriage because he resented me...eventually he cheated and we divorced. If only he would've walked away when he was having doubts and spared me the 5 years of very painful neglect and torment. Just trying to show you the other side of the coin.
Not in a good place, I'm officially single (again)
Completely agree with the above.
as I have been in a similar situation before. Except I had wasted almost 5 years of my life with a man who was confused, wishy washy, and eventually 'fell out of love' with me. I had devoted so much of my time, energy, and heart to this guy that I didn't realize how much I felt like I had been imprisoned into a life of unhappiness. When he broke things off, it hurt like h*** but it freed me, just like you have been freed. It may not seem like it now, but you are going to start feeling so much better and have tons of doors open for you. You deserve a man who will love you with everything they have just like you would do for them. Trust me on this, it gets SOOOOOO much better. You focus on making you and your son happy, the right man will come along, I know this to be true. 
