IMO, you're reading into it way too much and overreacting. Sounds to me like she is just recognizing you as a frequent customer and remembering what you get. Not a big deal.
Our daily lives are going to be full of encountering people who get on our nerves for one reason or another.... and God only knows what might being going on with them at that moment, that day, or for that matter what kind of difficulties they may have faced in life thus far.... and please don't get me wrong, I am not excusing the behavior... but since we ultimately have no power over another person's actions or comments what good does it do to internalize them and allow them to eat away at us?
So yes, you could do all those things that you mentioned such as avoiding this person or even saying something to her, or perhaps speaking to her manager... and let's say you even receive an apology from this person... Is that what it would take to make you feel vindicated in this situation?
But ultimately I think we need to ask ourselves "Why is this bothering me so much?" and "WHY do I care so much?" and I think that we might learn a lot about ourselves that could serve us well in a world where this sort of thing is just a simple fact of day to day life...
Last edited by TripSwitch; 09-14-2012 at 07:14 AM.
I agree with Taryl. And yes to what SacredKestel said. The checker is probably just trying to be friendly. I certainly would not go to a manager and get someone in trouble over it. That checker meets dozens of customers every day and probably has no idea she is being offensive. I would probably just say something like, "Yes, I'm sticking to my healthful eating plan" etc. and let it go.
There are "hills worth dying on" and many (most) that are not. This certainly seems like a "not" to me.
Last edited by Misti in Seattle; 09-14-2012 at 07:46 AM.
Yes, the tone is just very unfriendly, mocking, rude ill-will vibe. I suppose these are one of those situations better understood if seen in person.
Interesting comments though, I definitely will handle the situation.
I get the same subway sandwhich at the same shop all the time. The staff make comments but I don't get bothered by it at all. I go there frequently and have the same order all the time, so it's not surprising that they would notice. I just laugh and say something about how when I find something I like, I stick with it.
I just don't see what the benefit would be of confronting her/reporting it/etc. I would think it would make things even more uncomfortable and awkward. I wouldn't take it so personally and would stop caring so much. It's just not worth it.
I have tried to ignore and let it be , but she hasn't stopped hence why I made thread.
Actually that's pretty weird. I would be curious as to WHY a checkout clerk felt the need to have a conversation with me about what I was buying. I'm 43 and that has never happened to me my entire life. Do you think there's something wrong with her? And, if she's annoying you, trust me, she's annoying a lot of people.
I guess what I would do is ask the clerk something like "why are you so interested in what I'm buying?" and if you don't like the answer then go to customer service and complain.
I agree with Taryl. That said if it bothers you, go to self check out.
I know a woman who is VERY sensitive to her food. She decided one day in April to make Thanksgiving dinner for her and her family. She brought the leftovers to work. A coworker commented "it smells like Thanksgiving" and that just set the woman off. She took the comment as "you are a fat pig, overeating like people do on Thanksgiving!" That was NOT what the coworker meant. She meant because of the cranberries, turkey, dressing, and rolls IT SMELLED LIKE THANKSGIVING.
I don't get being overly sensitive to strangers comments, usually I figure they don't know me, are trying to make conversation or sometimes are insecure and putting it on me. I have had a cashier say to me when my husband and I were trying to conceive our son, "God for your sake I hope it's negative." I was floored that someone had the audacity to say that, but I didn't complain...I found it odd then and still now, although it borders rude.
MIL lets EVERYTHING bother her and honestly she's just not a happy person. If someone stares her direction in a store, they are "out to get her." My point is don't let someone steal your peace. If you really can't deal with this particular cashier, I'd just self checkout or change lines.
I also agree with I think it was John, if you do say something--employees talk and I personally wouldn't want to be known as the lady that (insert whatever gossip here) .
My take? Life is too short. If it really bothers you, tell HER! I rarely bother with managers. A few years back there was a cashier (my age) that kept calling me Sweetie and Honey and I asked her to stop. The next day I went through her line and she did it again--I felt it was definitely intentional. I looked at her straight in the eye and said "I have asked you to stop referring to me in terms like those--I am NOT a lesbian and if I were, you clearly would NOT be my type. She never said anything to me again! Lol!
I agree with Taryl. That said if it bothers you, go to self check out.
I know a woman who is VERY sensitive to her food. She decided one day in April to make Thanksgiving dinner for her and her family. She brought the leftovers to work. A coworker commented "it smells like Thanksgiving" and that just set the woman off. She took the comment as "you are a fat pig, overeating like people do on Thanksgiving!" That was NOT what the coworker meant. She meant because of the cranberries, turkey, dressing, and rolls IT SMELLED LIKE THANKSGIVING.
I don't get being overly sensitive to strangers comments, usually I figure they don't know me, are trying to make conversation or sometimes are insecure and putting it on me. I have had a cashier say to me when my husband and I were trying to conceive our son, "God for your sake I hope it's negative." I was floored that someone had the audacity to say that, but I didn't complain...I found it odd then and still now, although it borders rude.
MIL lets EVERYTHING bother her and honestly she's just not a happy person. If someone stares her direction in a store, they are "out to get her." My point is don't let someone steal your peace. If you really can't deal with this particular cashier, I'd just self checkout or change lines.
I also agree with I think it was John, if you do say something--employees talk and I personally wouldn't want to be known as the lady that (insert whatever gossip here) .
"God for your sake I hope it's negative." Please don't take this the wrong way, but I literally almost fell out my chair laughing when I read this... To think that a cashier or anyone for that matter would open their mouth and have that come out just goes to show how many people who have something pretty seriously wrong with them are out there...
I mean that should really be a scene in a movie or a sit-com...
I thought about going through self checkout or another store (which is out of my way) but I don't feel I should change what I do because for whatever reasons it bothers someone else.
Isn't that exactly what you want this cashier to do - stop making idle chit-chat with you about your groceries because for some reason it bothers you?
I have to agree with those who guess that you are most likely reading bad intent where there is none. My advice is that you consider giving her the benefit of the doubt and letting the comment slide.
As I said in my original post, I thought about going through self checkout or another store (which is out of my way) but I don't feel I should change what I do because for whatever reasons it bothers someone else. It may seem insignificant to you (especially as you are reading this through a message board) but in person(especially how its said and done) and to me, its not.
I made my post to vent and get advice.
Interesting. It seems as though you wanting this cashier to stop making conversation with you because it bothers you can be supported with the very same argument that you're applying to yourself.
When situations like this arise in my life, I tend to take a step back before getting upset. Ask yourself WHY this lady might care (or find it so threatening) that you buy the same items each time you go. Doesn't really seem like it should matter to her, does it?
Having worked at a grocery store myself, I remember the cashier being encouraged to make small talk with the customers to make you feel welcome. Try coming up with a smile next time and asking how she's doing, or comment on the weather! She's probably just finding a way to avoid scanning your groceries in complete (and slightly awkward) silence.
If it's that big of a deal, though- try a different checkout next time.
Last year, there was a new bagel at a coffee shop I go to. I guess I must have bought a lot of these bagels, because eventually the staff would tease me when I walked up. They would say, "Bagel and medium coffee, right?" It was more a comment that I was predictable. And I was. We would laugh about it and I'd be on my way.
As a sidenote, it also made me swear off bagels this year. Not because of the coffee shop people (they made me laugh about it), but because I started gaining weight. And now when I go to that shop, I joke that I'm swearing off bagels. But I'm still predictable about the coffee and what's in it.
So it could be what you're saying. It might not. I have to admit that if I were your cashier, I'd be more admiring and likely to say something like, "Wow, your food is always so healthy. That is great. How do you avoid temptation so well?"
I'm suddenly having flashes of being a cashier at Target a long while back and wondering how many people I offended making idle chit-chat about what they were buying. "Oh what a cute shirt", "mmm, that frozen lasagna looks yummy". Seeing as how, as a cashier, the ONLY thing you have in common with any given customer is that you are checking out their items, I think it's pretty normal to make conversation about it. Maybe at times my intent on being freindly to a customer was taken as judgement or rudeness -- not because I was being judgemental or rude, but because the customer had some sort of issue and took my comment the wrong way. Perception is everything.
Maybe her tone does come across rude, and maybe she does or doesn't mean anything by it -- there is no way for you to know her intentions. Truly if it bothers you that much and you are unable/unwilling to just let it go, maybe you could nicely tell her that comments about your groceries make you feel uncomfortable. I think that would be the most adult way to go about solving the issue beyond just ignoring it (which would be my 1st advice).
