Facebook's Effects
 

I feel pretty silly talking about this, but, I was thinking about deactivating or deleting my FB. I'm 25 and I feel like I spend way too much time on that website for someone my age and could be doing things that are more productive. Also, I keep comparing myself/my life to other's and it's bringing me down. On the other hand, it's a convenient way to keep in touch with people. Sadly, I have no idea what I could do all day with no job or school going on at the moment. :?:

Thoughts? Opinions?

no idea what to do all day?
- knit
- cook
- volunteer (animal shelter, old people, etc)
- learn to run
- learn to run faster
- take up yoga (yogajournal.com has free podcasts)
- walk around town
- walk around town more
- read books
- read more books
- clean your house
- take up meditation


As far as the FB issue, I usually hide people's profiles if i'm starting to feel myself comparing myself to them.

Good advice seagirl. And thanks, I hadn't heard of yogajournal.com. Excited to check it out!

Facebook is Fakebook. I know plenty of people make it seem as though their life is rainbows and roses but knowing them very personally I know it's nowhere near. I get envious of those that get to go on vacation all the time (I wish) other than that I block those from my newsfeed that constantly gloat about having "perfect husbands" and "perfect kids". It gets nauseating.

I spend less and less time on FB in recent days. I'm almost 38 and have to try to stay in real life and less in the fantasy world. No sense in comparing.

Lots of hobbies to do not to mention exercise. ;)

I recently deleted my FB account on account of the fact that I just don't like the details of the site. I don't like the invasion of privacy and the information sharing. I also found that some of the people I know are really annoying when you give them a forum to post random blobs of nonsense. You will likely be better off without it, once the withdrawal symptoms subside. The fake sense of connection is not real. Get out into real life with real people in your community, and you will be better off for it.

A little over 3 years ago I started volunteering at a therapeutic riding center (we work with mentally and physically disabled adults and children on horseback) and it literally changed my life! I volunteered for a couple of years and now am becoming a certified instructor and am employed as the horse trainer!

When I started I had no job, had just finished school and had no clue...I'm not sure I was on facebook then, but I am a huge fan of volunteering.

I like FB for keeping up with extended family and friends. Close family and friends are local and HERE, so no real need to FB. I also keep up with volunteer pals/needs/news that way. But I don't volunteer that way except for one group who I manage the organization FB page for.

Get out and participate in life -- in real life. Join hobby something, learn something new class something, achieve something (https://www.presidentschallenge.org/index.shtml for instance), volunteer at something. www.volunteermatch.org for instance.

Get busy living and doing esteemable things. That's how you grow your own self esteem - by DOING esteemable things.

This comparing yourself to others business? Well, you see how it drains your own esteem. And who is doing the comparing anyway? YOU. So cut it out and visit the other side of the coin -- finding out what fills you up instead.

And you do THAT by doing and experimenting to find what really interests you. :)

GL!
A.

I deleted my Facebook profile a few months ago for all the reasons mentioned by others. I didn't like the invasion of privacy, I didn't like getting friend requests from people who are no longer friends for a reason or who I was never friends with to begin with, I didn't like the "Fakebook" aspect, it was a time waster, and I didn't like the way my feelings got hurt when I would find I was "unfriended" by a few folks (I felt silly for being hurt, but at the same time, also knew that their gesture was meant to be hurtful). All in all, I haven't missed being on Facebook one bit.

Moderation....

priorities first then play.

Like 3FC...

a great tool to help one lose weight and find people that "get it"

but if all you do is stay here to post and read...

then 3FC is harmful to your goal.

I'm glad your brought up time spent on 3FC. I find myself spending 1.5 to 2 hours on this website everyday! :o Part of it is get useful weight loss advice, but most of it is to feel that sense of belonging. I don't have that sense of belonging to a group/community in real life.

How many hours do most posters spend time on 3FC each day? Just curious...

I deactivated my account last winter. I got tired of seeing everyone's fabulous vacations when we were struggling financially.

I just recently activated it again and found it doesn't affect me as much.

If deactivation is the only way you would stop going on it, do it. Sometimes you need a break. I have taken a few facebook breaks, but always end up going back. I find that sometimes in the period of a month, I've missed a lot.

I also fall into the trap of being brought down by all the fabulous happenings I'm not at and all the happiness I'm not a part of... I recently had to remind myself of everything that I do have! I don't like to focus on the fact that much of what is presented on Facebook is fake; it somehow seems mean to me, and I just feel meaner and meaner and meaner. But it is true, at least on my feed, the folks that seem to be having the most wonderful time are usually the folks that are barely hanging on.
When I need a reboot, I just leave it alone for a while. If you can't leave it alone, then maybe remove certain friends from your feed?
I'm back on, but I did actually set one very close friend to "important only" (which means zero, huzzah!) because I was sick to death of "it" and I am not going to allow Facebook to drive me crazy, and possibly destroy a friendship. She's an idiot on FB but fairly awesome IRL, so with love, I blocked her *ss. Heh. That's another option for you. I can always click her name and go look at her page when I want an update, and somehow, that bothers me much, much less.

I love Facebook. I use it to keep in touch with all my family & friends over seas.

I have always been poor and unable to do many of the things most people do. But I don't get upset when I see others with awesome lives etc because I would prefer people to be happy than complain all the time. Those are the people I hide. I don't want to hear about people's marriage issues etc.

I agree if you don't like it, take a break from it. Same as anything in life.

I LOVE FB! I'm not a jealous person so it doesn't bother me what others do and the privacy issues...there are settings for what you want people to see. YOU control what others read and see. And you DON'T have to add every person who friends you, I don't. I have seen people with anywhere from 100 to over 1000 friends and just think, do they REALLY know these people or is is just a contest over who can get the most, lol. I talk with ALL who are on my FB, not everyday but I do and I don't add people for the sake of adding them. I DO try to limit my time because I am hooked on the games, lol. I still get things done.

I have recently become addicted to Words with Friends...lolI keep in touch with family and old friends..I love looking at pics and the quotes sometimes make my day. The downside is hubby hates it...and I hate the new scroll thing that allows people you arent friends with to see a post a mutal friend likes or comments on.

For me, when I get in a rut and I'm not doing the things I should, I sit quietly and relax, and open myself to any ideas that come for the *next right thing* I could do. And then I try to do that, and not worry about anything else. That usually breaks the inertia and gets me moving - slowly - again.

I agree that I'd rather see the people I care about having good experiences. People who are negative and/or inappropriate--block them.

Sometimes the people who seem like they're gloating are actually just grateful and feel blessed--and they want to share that with their loved ones. Sometimes, people are actually obnoxious, and in that case, block or unfriend them as well.

The more positive changes I've made in my own life, the less other people bother me--whether on facebook or other sites, or in real life, with coworkers, friends, classmates, or extended family.

Happiness is very much a state of mind.

I like facebook but, then again, I'm actually really happy with my current life. I may be single but I'm single by choice and I may be really stressed out trying to juggle graduate school, work, and financial strain but I'm working towards a better life that I know is mine for the taking....If only I could just get my weight loss back on track...

I agree with the poster that said they would prefer bragging to complaining.

Volunteering sounds like a great idea, btw! It could lead to a job as well! If anything, it will make your resume more appealing.

I spent a lot of time on the internet, between blogging, facebook and reddit - I can spend hours on the internet. But for me, I don't see it as a waste of time. I enjoy it. I learn things, I interact with my friends and family across the country and I de-stress.

I make time to do what needs to be done and none of my responsibilities are slacked because of my time online, but I am also a firm believer in spending my time how I like. I'm very much a home-body, and I've learned to be OK with that.

Facebook is like TV to me: it's what I do when there's nothing else to do, or if I just wanna "veg-out" or whatever. So yeah, Facebook is a total waste of time (for me). But sometimes "a waste of time" is just what I need.

I don't depend on FB for anything -I don't play the games & I don't friend people I don't know - I don't even use it as a major tool for keeping up with fam & friends - I use good ol'fashioned talking on the phone for that! - but it's kinda cool that I can see what my buds are up to, the funny jokey-cartoons they post, the new band they're listening to that I've never heard of, etc. I don't care for the political rantings or the religious platform some of my friends use it for - I tend to just ignore certain stuff, and what seems impossible to ignore, I block.

If Facebook died tomorrow, I wouldn't cry. I'd just say "Oh well, there goes Facebook!" and be on my merry way. :)

I really don't think FB is going to last for too long given the security voliation issues. In fact, I'll be surprised if we still use it 3 years from now. Remember MySpace and Friendster? :) Facebook will eventually phase out too as soon as another (better) technology arrives to entertain us.

I haven't read everyone's posts (will after I post this probably), but I know exactly how you feel. It makes me so depressed all the time, because I can't even drive, so a lot of the time I feel like I have nothing to do but internet surf or watch TV, and it drives me insane. I barely have any motivation/inspiration to do anything other than sit on my butt and eat junk food. It's getting out of control. I barely even clean my house....

Not to gripe and complain, but I'm 25. I was supposed to have learned to drive years ago, but neither one of my parents will teach me, I have no friends, and my husband never learned to drive, either (he lived with a very large, very poor family that hardly ever had working vehicles).

And seeing all the people I went to school with bragging all over Facebook about their great lives, with adventures, road trips, vacations, and all that crap really bums me out.

Sorry for the rant. Just feeling low. It feels like the only time I ever get to go out is to go grocery shopping twice a month, accompany my mom when she grocery shops once a week, and to church three times a week. That's it. Nothing else. It sucks.

On a brighter note, here's some stuff I do when I get "in the mood" to do stuff other than stare at facebook or reruns of wife swap on TV:

Sing (I absolutely LOVE singing),
Listening to music (<3 Barry Manilow especially <3),
Write on my stories,
Amazon Mechanical Turk (it makes a very small amount of money),
Listia (an auction site like ebay, but it's free),
Clean (very rarely),
Pilates (I actually lost 3 inches doing winsor pilates DVDs for two weeks a while back, but then I lost motivation),
Walking (Sadly, my sesamoid injury never completely healed, so I can't do this much),
Making paper beads,
Sprouting/Gardening (I'm good with sprouting, but not gardening. This is my first garden ever, so it's kind of an experiment),
Video games,
Playing/cuddling with my cats,
Watching movies/shows with husband.

We're going to try going vegetarian next month to save money on our food budget, so I will probably be cooking and cleaning more than normal.

Would someone in your church be willing to teach you how to drive? Maybe if you do facebook, you could post asking for volunteers to teach you.

Obviously you enjoy it, but if you are worried about self-image or wasting your time, why not use that Internet time as a reward? If you want to look at FB for an hour, work out for an hour first. That way, when you're looking at it you know you earned it and if you find yourself comparing yourself to other people you'll feel your muscles telling you that you'll soon be there, too.

I enjoy Facebook, but I had become too 'addicted' to it. I had gotten into those Zynga games and was playing Mafia Wars, Frontierville and a couple of others. I had many 'friends' that were only there to support me in the games. One day I decided enough was enough and deleted the games and every single person in my FB that wasn't either a real-life friend or someone with whom I had developed a friendship with online that I felt added something to my life. I pared my 'friends' down from over 600 to 60. I still spend some time on FB, but not nearly as much, and I don't game any more.

Uh, I'm not exactly close to anyone at church. We do have someone that comes by and picks us up for services, but both men work and farm, so it would be a huge inconvenience. I just don't know anyone that would be willing to help, and, frankly, I'm extremely socially awkward. My people skills were always pretty poor, because I'm easily embarrassed, but being away from people so much (besides husband, parents, and brother) has left me with even worse social skills. Even at church, my husband and I keep to ourselves unless we're approached for conversation. I know that sounds rude of us, but we're both very socially awkward, and have trouble initiating conversations with people.

Also, the people I'm "friends" with on facebook mostly don't live near me, and none of them were ever people I hung out with in person.

I like Facebook because it gives me motivation to keep active and outgoing. Sometimes the sheer notion of posting an album of my latest adventure on Facebook is enough to push me into going through the hurdles of getting to said adventure (ie: saving up enough money, or making time in my life, or filling out paperwork to get my passport renewed, or getting vaccines to travel to exotic places)l I'm not saying I go on adventures only to brag on Facebook, but sometimes thinking "think how awesome the photos will be" is enough to stop me from procrastinating.

When I was trapped living with my parents who wouldn't let me move out or go traveling without them or with other people then Facebook depressed me, because I got to see other people doing age appropriate things while I was still being forcibly regressed to teenager status.

This is EXACTLY how I feel. I've even told my husband that I feel confused when I look in the mirror sometime, because I'm expecting to see my 15 year old self. I don't feel like an adult. At all.

My mother actually paid for driving lessons for me because she didn't want to teach me, is there a driving instructor in your area? Maybe go to the local DMV and ask if they know anyone. Why won't your parents teach you? They don't seem like they're doing their job.