Cheer up! be happy you are alive and healthy ^_^

I agree with focusing on yourself for a while, work on your self esteem and self confidence. Congrats on not contacting him, if he is interested there is nothing in this world that will stop him from reaching out to you. Meanwhile I'd say just take this experience for what it was: you had fun with a guy you were attracted to and you enjoyed it. No regrets, they're not worth it, you had fun and that's that.

Work on yourself and no one can tell you who the right person is that you should take the next step with. I personally believe if a man is mature and they want a relationship then it won't matter if you have sex or if you don't. There's a reason it doesn't work. Take notes and move on like you already are and keep on working up that self esteem and confidence and I personally don't think if you have sex with someone soon it means you have low self esteem you are a human with needs, just make better choices on who you let fulfill those needs.

Stop talking to yourself like this:

Start talking to yourself with a little more respect. :hug:

Get a check up if you are truly depressed. See a doc.

Get out and make new friends -- volunteer, take a ceramics class -- whatever it is you like to do.

Masturbate to take the edge off -- stop dealing in FWB if what you are after is a more serious relationship. FWB stuff just seems to sink you further into moody. You don't need more moody makin' stuff in your life.

I'm worried about you. :(

A.

It takes two to maintain a relationship. You didn't screw it up on your own. It just sounds like you had different end-games in mind. Don't beat yourself up over it. You had what you had and now it's time for something new, so get excited about that, instead!

It sounds like you're using dating to avoid yourself. That's no good. Figure out what you're trying not to face and just face it. A good therapist can be wonderful to bat around ideas with about the things in your life (I'm super grateful for mine) and can offer a perspective that's objective, about your goals and such.

If you're trying to focus on yourself but are feeling lonely, try this: Make a list of ten things you have always thought would be fun to try and then try them! Sometimes, all you need is a sense of purpose. Write them down and put them where you'll see them. Mark them off as you do them and don't remove the list until they are all done. Then, next time you're tempted to distract yourself by dating, just choose one of those things from the list and go with that activity instead. And, then journal about it so you can figure out whatever it is you're working through in your heart or head that is urging you to spend some time working on yourself because you can't fix whatever it is without facing it or without doing something to fix it.