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Old 04-22-2012, 09:30 AM   #1  
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Default An Army wife rant- Not really diet related.

A lot of days I feel like crying, but today is just worse than ever. I feel like I want to throw myself on the floor and have a tantrum like a 2 year old. I just feel like I CANĻT DO THIS!!!!

I am married to an Army Intel Analyst who works for NATO. We are stationed in Spain, but he is deployed in Afganistan. I hate deployment. There I said it. He comes home at the end of July, and in 14 months we have spent only 3 together. Every part of life is on my shoulders and I feel the weight of it could break my back. We live in a giant house in the country, with a huge yard. I have to take care of 100% of the house chores (of course) the yard, with the mowing, trimming, weed eating, vegetable garden, wood chopping, watering, dog poop, paying the bills, car maintenance, ect.

The pool. I have to fill the pool, scrape the crap, do the chemicals. Today the interior filter is clogged and I donīt know how to fix it, itīs his job and if the filter is clogged the vaccuum wonīt work and when the vaccuum wont work I canīt clean the pool and then it will be more work.

I work full-time plus as a teacher in a k-12 academy, and teach college kids at night. I volunteer for an animal rescue organization and have about a hundred animals to take care of. I am trying to diet, but when I am stressed, I eat. I am a very emotional eater. I try to shop and cook healthy, but sometimes Iīm bad.

I am infertile with PCOS and currently going through my 3rd round of IVF- ALONE! Yes, this is my choice, but if I waited till my hubby was here to do it, we might not ever have a family. Last IVF- he was deployed to the north pole. (yes, seriously).

Last week I got my dog castrated and he ripped out his stitched 2x, had them re-done and he got a big infection. Spent saturday at the hospital.

I feel so over-loaded and just really, really want to cry. I feel like I canīt do this alone. I didnīt get married to be alone. I realize I married an Army man and I knew it, but Iīm so alone, with no support of any kind here. I have so much on my plate. I want to get in bed and pull the covers over my head until my amazing hubby comes home, and then life will be perfect again .

Thanks for reasing my rant. Itīs just one of those days. If I were a drinker, I think Iīd have a few...haha, but Iīm not so I drank 2 glasses of milk and had 6 chocolate chip cookies, and still feel horrible.

And please donīt get me wrong, I do feel very blessed with my life, and am generally a happy person, sometimes the stress just overflows!
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Old 04-22-2012, 09:34 AM   #2  
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Awww, dear, hang in there. I know it sucks, for sure. Maybe scale back a bit on how much you have on your plate (not literally ) and see if that helps the stress a bit?
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Old 04-22-2012, 09:57 AM   #3  
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Sad! I am sure that the worst part is not having him around. That is a lot of stuff to take care of, but some chores you can always slack on until you have some time to get around to it

As far as fixing things, that is tricky. Youtube has a lot of home fix videos that may help if you get ambitious.

Only a few months left, you are so close!
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Old 04-22-2012, 10:02 AM   #4  
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re: the pool filter - i found this:

first thing I would do is check for water flow, If you have flow then its just a clogged pipe, here's how you fix that... open the strainer for the pump and clean it out. Then I would turn on the hose and insert it in the pipe ( from the pump,towards the pool skimmer), This should unclog any leaves or debris from the pipe. If there was debri in the pipe then I would try the pump again. If no debri then the filter is full or clogged ( full filters put to much pressure on the pump ) Most pumps have a protection device in them to keep them from being overloaded. If you have water flow thru the pump the i would backwash the filer( if it's a sand filter) or clean the filters. If this doesn't fix the problem then you might have something lodged in the impellers of the pump. You would have to take apart the pump to find this problem. If there is no water flow after all this and the pump is still making noise then It sounds as if the pump is going out. A new pump should run anywhere from 150.00 upward depending on the size you need. There is no need to call a pool co to fix this You are very capable of checking all these problems yourself, even if it comes down to replacing the pump.

also this:

re the wood, yard work, and similar stuff - contact your local high school. if you're in ontario and a few other places, high school kids have to do volunteer hours or community service in order to graduate. you might also consider trading yard work for tutoring.

Last edited by threenorns; 04-22-2012 at 10:05 AM.
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Old 04-22-2012, 10:20 AM   #5  
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That sounds overwhelming for sure. And you must miss him terribly. If he'd be deployed while you live near your and his family it would be way less solitary I guess?

I agree with the other poster, maybe try and scale down on all you do? And I would just call a handy-man for the pool. It's Spain right? Labor there is much cheaper than most places so there's gardeners that can take care of such stuff without it costing you a ton. Also, do you have some sort of support-network over there? Maybe go to expat-parties so you meet people that are going through the same?

You will figure it out and he will get home eventually! Hihi. Goodluck.
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Old 04-22-2012, 11:26 AM   #6  
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That is an overwhelming amount of stuff for one person to handle!

I remember once (I was married to a Marine) they came for housing inspection when he was deployed. I had a husband in a combat zone, 2 big dogs, a kid, worked full time with an hour+ commute each way, was totally overwhelmed. The inspectors had plenty of things that I wasn't doing right - I ended up sobbing with them comforting me. Embarassing. But they gave me some important advice:

Don't feel like you can't ask for help!

Do you have an FRG where you are? They have resources for this kind of thing. You are only one person and it is HARD being the one at home having to pretend that it's life as usual.

Hang in there. You will get through this!!
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Old 04-22-2012, 11:28 AM   #7  
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So I went for a 10k bike ride to clear my thoughts, and talked to the hubby about how I feel. He got angry at me, and said Ļdo you think I enjoy being here!Ļ He said it hurts his feelings that I complain to I think itīs a lot easier being over there working 7 days a week than it is being at home with 100% of life to worry about!

But anyways, he told me how to take the lid off the darned pool filter, so Iīm going to go give it a go, and weed eat the hedge before it gets too dark.

As far as cutting back on things itīs just hard. I am stopping volunteering, and school will finish the end of June, so thatīs great. My boss asked me to put together and run a summer camp for the school, and I said yes, because I can never say no, but I am going to reconsider.

As for finding someone to come over and help, it is difficult and I wouldnt trust someone alone here, and I would feel lazy if they were working while I was home and I wasnt...haha.

I donīt know. Itīs just a bad day. I wish I had a couple teenage children of my own....I would put them to work..haha

I do realize I need to try to be calm and not stress, because I really do want a family, and we are investing a lot of time and money into this IVF.

This is my last week dieting and I have decided to go on maintenance for the next month until I find out if I am pregnant or not.

Hereīs to breathing.
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Old 04-22-2012, 01:41 PM   #8  
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I always get annoyed when people imply that because you chose something, you should be okay with the consequences every moment. I think its perfectly okay for you to have a freak-out every once in a while, and have a good cry, and just not like the situation. Its definitely something you have to do to be sane!

Try to think of relaxing "me" time as something that should be on your "to do" list. A bath or some trashy magazines or something that makes you happy, is a great thing to keep you sane, and relaxed. Think of it as a pregnancy helper, and so it should be on the top of the priority list!
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Old 04-22-2012, 03:11 PM   #9  
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Thanks Chubbybunny, that was really sweet. In fact I just did a vitimin c mask and took a bubble bath by candle off to paint my nails in front of the TV while I veg out!!

Some days are just H-A-R-D!
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Old 04-22-2012, 05:14 PM   #10  
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Oh hun, I know. Out of the last 3 years... we've seen my husband for less than 6 months. Of our 9 year marriage... less than half.

It truly sucks sometimes... and sometimes I'm grateful for the opportunity to prove to myself that I'm one bad*$$ chick. I can do anything! I don't think I'd be here if he'd been home all this time.

Use the time to do something YOU love. Something you'd have trouble following through with if he were there. I'm going back to school and gardening and keeping myself busy.

Sometimes it's nice to have a bed all to yourself, too!! Nobody steals my covers!!

Hang in there... feel free to PM me if you ever need to avoid drowning your sorrows in cookies. It'll be ok!!!
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