I would ditch your crazy friends as well.

If you're worried about symmetry for pictures, why not have some of your husband's entourage stand on your side? You're already (I'm assuming) having a guy in a tux on your side with your male friend. It doesn't matter the male's sexual orientation to cross over to the "bride's side". I knew lots of women that were more comfortable with male friends and had a "man of honor" instead of the traditional maid of honor. This way you don't feel pressured into having people you aren't comfortable with in your wedding but avoid lopsided pictures.

I hope you find something you're happy with so you can look back on the pictures of the event fondly for years.

Thanks XL, good advice!

Prime reason why I HATE weddings.

I think asking the groom's sisters is a lovely idea. I've had three brothers get married and not once was I asked to be in the wedding party. I'd have loved to be included.

As for this YOUR DAY stuff... it's true. It is your day. But I disagree that brides never seem to follow that "number one rule" threenorns mentioned. There is no reason to turn into bridezilla. Making your bridal party miserable is not going to result in a good time. If you ask them to do truly bizarre things remember that they do no have to do them and can instead opt out entirely. You do get to pick out what they wear and how they look but doing so to humiliate them is just mean-spirited. (Note: Not that I honestly think you're considering black crepe, tin foil hats, and the macerena. You seem far too sweet for that. I'm just throwing it out there.)

Then the bride and groom should cover the whole cost of everything. Bachelorette party, bridal gowns, travel arrangements, etc. I think people have blown up what weddings are for. Really, is it necessary to blow $10,000+ on them? Plus all of the money your loved ones waste on it? I'm in a second wedding this year, having already blown $1000 on the first. I can gaurantee that besides my sister, I will never be in another wedding. And then there is the year or two before the wedding where it is all anyone can talk about. One more discussion on invitation text, direction wording, center pieces, etc, and I might just lose it.

You have 16 months. I am sure you'll meet atleast one or two women in that time period that you could ask to be your bridesmaids. If not, I would either ask the sisters-in-law or have some of the groomsmen on your side as previously mentioned.

As for the issue of bridezilla and if brides should pay for everything, it really depends on how crazy expensive the bridesmaid dresses are and if they can be worn again. I had to pay $250 for my bridesmaid dress at my friends wedding. At first I was pissed at the cost since you can get nice dresses for $50 dollars, but I can wear the dress again to other weddings or super dressy events so its not like I spent that much money for a one time thing. Plus, I liked the dress. Brides can't force people to wear AND pay for something they hate. If they get to have an opinion on the dress than they can pay (unless the bride wants something thats $400!)... but if you are choosing the dress and they have no say whatsoever, than the bride should totally cover the cost.

It's your special day and if your friends can't understand that, than they weren't truly your friends to begin with, so you haven't lost anything. I agree with asking your future husband's sisters, it's a lovely idea and I'm sure they'll appreciate it.

i agree with the advice to ask members of your fiance's family to stand in, if you really want equal numbers, and don't have anyone you want to ask in your family or circle of friends. my wedding party was small. i had a maid of honor and 2 brides maids, my husband had a best man and two groomsmen one of whom was my brother (because his other brother couldn't make it).

it's your day, try not to stress it too much. my mantra that got me through it all was "my wedding will be perfect even if everything goes wrong, as long as it's legal at the end of the day" :)

I also had bridesmaids issues at my wedding. By the time we got to the day, the final lineup included a coworker as my maid of honor, my best friend from highschool, the daughter of my husband's mom's best friend, and my younger cousin (who was 10 at the time) as bridesmaids, and my littlest female cousin (at the time) as a flower girl. To be honest, I haven't seen my maid of honor or the daughter of my husband's mom's best friend in years, but they worked out so well for my wedding, and I do not regret choosing them. My maid of honor was great because she is very personable and had been the maid of honor before for her closer friends. I'm a bit socially awkward whereas she is a social butterfly. She is the kind of "popular girl" who wants to help everyone feel their best, so she was happy to pick out lipstick and stuff with me.

On a cost note, when I got married I tried to pick the least expensive bridesmaids dress that I could find. We actually picked one out in the store and then found it cheaper online. My parents covered the cost of some of the dresses even after that.

When you ask people to be in your wedding they will most likely say yes because it is socially acceptable to say yes. If I were you, I'd look for someone who has done it before and liked it.

With regard to your fiance's sisters, I think it could be great to ask them as long as you get along with them. It could be a great chance for you guys to hang out and get to know each other better. If they like you, then they will talk you up to his mom. Also, it will be convenient for you all to be close when/if you begin having children. A bonus for asking his sisters is that if you are too nervous, then he can ask for you.

I hope you have an amazing wedding!

Talk about lopsided pictures. I had a matron of honor and a flowergirl while Hubby had 5-6 groomsmen {his friends + 1 brother}. I wasn't really upset at the time, but 15 years later its kinda funny!

I didn't mean that it's the bride's (and groom's!) day to the exclusion of all else. In fact, that was my point. One should always be mindful of how they treat their loved ones.

And I'm right there with you on the cost. I'd rather put ten grand toward a house.

Just a though on the number of people in the wedding party: mine was quite uneven (I had 8 bridesmaids and my husband had 4 groomsmen), and we just had each groomsman walk down the aisle with two bridesmaids, one on each side of him. It was really cute actually, and I think it would be equally cute if each of your bridesmaids were walking with a groomsman on each arm. :)

Pick people you want in your wedding party and don't pick people you don't. Don't stress about symmetry with the groomsmen. What matters is that you include people you love. The rest is drama.

Thanks everyone! I'm not planning on making my bridesmaids do anything special really. I would like them to match and look presentable, but other than that, nothing too crazy. We're all poor college students so I wouldn't ever make them get something expensive. I've been toying with just choosing a color and just letting them choose what they're going to wear. We're not going to have a giant expensive wedding because well, we're going to have just graduated from college and won't have the money. As it is we have maybe 100 dollars saved for it. Luckily my friends, the ones I have left anyway, and his friends are helping with everything. One is a dj so he'll do the music, I'm making the cake myself and my man of honor and I are doing the food ourselves.

That's what we did. We were having a Saturday evening wedding in November, and I specified a black dress, ankle or floor length, with straps (no sleeves and not strapless). We ended up with one bridesmaid in a calf-length dress, two bridesmaids in strapless dresses, and one bridesmaid in a one-shoulder dress - and everyone looked spectacular. Everyone spent what they wanted and found something they liked and would wear again. One of my friends just mentioned a few months ago that she wore her dress yet again to another event - more than 8 years after the wedding. Definitely a good way to go I think.