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Old 03-30-2012, 09:38 AM   #16  
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I once broke part of a barstool at a Christmas party. At my husband's boss's house. Everyone heard the "crunch" and turned to stare at me. How embarrassing. I wasn't even anywhere near my highest weight! I've even lost 30 pounds since then but I'm still big enough for that to remain a possibility.

I'll have a better attitude about clothes shopping when I'm a smaller size. I'm not sure if I have a chip on my shoulder or what, but I just get extremely annoyed and irritated every time I step into a store with clothes. I wonder if they'll have anything that will fit me at all, let alone be somewhat flattering. It's really a pet peeve of mine to go into a store and see an entire wall of clothes, and realize that the teeny little section of only 5 or 6 racks is plus size, and then when I dive into that find out half of it is maternity. Although I suppose that's better than entering a store I've never visited and finding out they don't carry plus sizes at all.

I'm hoping I won't hide behind hoodies anymore. When I get smaller I'm going to make it a point not to buy them.
I've never actually broken a chair - and probably only because I am extremely mindful about what I sit on - but my best friend did about six months ago, in front of a roomful of friends, and it was awful. She was around 300 pounds at the time and the spindly metal legs just gave out and she hit the deck. I felt truly terrible for her as what happened was and still is one of my worst fears.

I also get your frustration about the sh*tty clothing options for plus-size women. It's like the designers of these clothes think we're not really worth it so they might as well dress us in curtains and shapeless sacks. Ew. Can't wait until I don't have these issues anymore, although the chair thing is so ingrained in me I don't know whether I'll ever be able to break the habit!
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Old 03-30-2012, 10:06 AM   #17  
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I've never actually broken a chair - and probably only because I am extremely mindful about what I sit on - but my best friend did about six months ago, in front of a roomful of friends, and it was awful. She was around 300 pounds at the time and the spindly metal legs just gave out and she hit the deck. I felt truly terrible for her as what happened was and still is one of my worst fears.

I also get your frustration about the sh*tty clothing options for plus-size women. It's like the designers of these clothes think we're not really worth it so they might as well dress us in curtains and shapeless sacks. Ew. Can't wait until I don't have these issues anymore, although the chair thing is so ingrained in me I don't know whether I'll ever be able to break the habit!
Oh, that does sound so awful for your friend! I was lucky the whole thing didn't fall over or anything like that, it was just one of the little bars that connected the legs that snapped. It had been a long party, I didn't really know anyone there aside from my husband, and it was crowded with few places to sit. I was very uncomfortable on that very tall bar stool, and kept shifting my weight and using that little bar for support as I moved around (as I couldn't reach the floor as it was such a tall stool). Apparently my 285 pounds was too much for that little bar no matter how carefully and gently I tried to shift my weight! It's been five years now but I'll never forget how that felt.

I'm sort of surprised I didn't take out any seats at my highest weight of 360, but I probably wasn't social enough to worry about having to sit in too many strange chairs. I do recall having a hard time fitting in the seats of the local theater, that we'd often choose to drive to the next town over just because their seats were more "comfortable." I kinda wonder if I'd be ok in them now, but I've moved since then and it's not worth the 2000 mile trip to find out!

My husband has tried to be helpful with my clothes shopping in the past, but has learned to just let me wander off in the store on my own. I hate being such a grouch about it, but even after explaining multiple times he still doesn't seem to understand the segregation going on. For example, I'll be marching toward the plus sizes, and he'll keep stopping to point out cute things hanging on the racks that he thinks would look good on me. But none of those things he points out will ever fit me. I tell him we're in the wrong section, that the sizes don't go high enough, and he'll ask me why we're even there then. And I point out that we have to walk through the "normal" stuff in order to get to the "crappy" stuff, and then he just tells me I'm being grouchy. I had a similar issue early on in our relationship the first few times we went to a mall. He'd want to take me into all the stores, but it's pretty pointless and even upsetting when you know that 90% of the stores refuse to cater to your size.
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Old 03-30-2012, 10:20 AM   #18  
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Oh, that does sound so awful for your friend! I was lucky the whole thing didn't fall over or anything like that, it was just one of the little bars that connected the legs that snapped. It had been a long party, I didn't really know anyone there aside from my husband, and it was crowded with few places to sit. I was very uncomfortable on that very tall bar stool, and kept shifting my weight and using that little bar for support as I moved around (as I couldn't reach the floor as it was such a tall stool). Apparently my 285 pounds was too much for that little bar no matter how carefully and gently I tried to shift my weight! It's been five years now but I'll never forget how that felt.

I'm sort of surprised I didn't take out any seats at my highest weight of 360, but I probably wasn't social enough to worry about having to sit in too many strange chairs. I do recall having a hard time fitting in the seats of the local theater, that we'd often choose to drive to the next town over just because their seats were more "comfortable." I kinda wonder if I'd be ok in them now, but I've moved since then and it's not worth the 2000 mile trip to find out!

My husband has tried to be helpful with my clothes shopping in the past, but has learned to just let me wander off in the store on my own. I hate being such a grouch about it, but even after explaining multiple times he still doesn't seem to understand the segregation going on. For example, I'll be marching toward the plus sizes, and he'll keep stopping to point out cute things hanging on the racks that he thinks would look good on me. But none of those things he points out will ever fit me. I tell him we're in the wrong section, that the sizes don't go high enough, and he'll ask me why we're even there then. And I point out that we have to walk through the "normal" stuff in order to get to the "crappy" stuff, and then he just tells me I'm being grouchy. I had a similar issue early on in our relationship the first few times we went to a mall. He'd want to take me into all the stores, but it's pretty pointless and even upsetting when you know that 90% of the stores refuse to cater to your size.
Yes! It's honestly as if they shove us all into a shadowy little corner of the shop, away from all the "normal" people, so we won't take up too much room in the skinny section!

I find it really cute that your husband points out things he thinks would look cute on you! It's a shame he's completely clueless about the rules of women's fashion though, lol. You're right: 90% of stores, especially boutiques, will not cater for plus sizes. But what I find most depressing is the hideous state of plus-size fashion. I almost feel like starting a blog just to mock some of the things I've seen in local shops -- I truly think some people would be stunned by some of the things they're expecting plus-size women to wear. The clothes either resemble curtains or are else hideously inappropriate: Just last month I spotted a rack of purple and gold leopard-print mini-skirts in the plus-size section, going up to a size 26.

Now, if a big girl wants to wear a skirt like that then more power to her. But come on: How many big girls are actually going to wear something like that?

As for the cinema seat, I'm sure you'd fit into it just fine now! About four months ago I couldn't fit into the local cinema seats without shifting my a*se to one side. It was just too uncomfortable. But yesterday I saw a movie there for the first time since then and fitted into the seats just fine! Mind you it wasn't particularly roomy but I no longer have bruises on my hips the next morning!

P.S. Your weight loss is inspirational! Congrats!
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Old 03-30-2012, 10:34 AM   #19  
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The only person who has broken a chair in my house is my (then) 35lb 3 year old. It was the way she was trying to sit in it and push it around at the same time I think. One leg snapped right off. I've since repaired that chair and someone else is sitting on it problem free. The 3yo (now 4) has her booster seat on a different kind of chair now.

I'd like to say that there are things I do now that I won't do when I'm thinner, but I really can't think of any. I was down to 120ish between my last two pregnancies, which is pretty slim for me, and the only thing that I can think I did differently was sometimes being able to buy bras in Winners (TJ Maxx) or other regular stores. I still wore running shorts as bathing suit bottoms and I was still more comfortable with a shirt over top of my bathing suit (not while swimming though). Being thinner does not make me more comfortable about my body.

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Old 03-30-2012, 11:14 AM   #20  
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I'll have a better attitude about clothes shopping when I'm a smaller size. I'm not sure if I have a chip on my shoulder or what, but I just get extremely annoyed and irritated every time I step into a store with clothes. I wonder if they'll have anything that will fit me at all, let alone be somewhat flattering. It's really a pet peeve of mine to go into a store and see an entire wall of clothes, and realize that the teeny little section of only 5 or 6 racks is plus size, and then when I dive into that find out half of it is maternity. Although I suppose that's better than entering a store I've never visited and finding out they don't carry plus sizes at all.

I'm hoping I won't hide behind hoodies anymore. When I get smaller I'm going to make it a point not to buy them.
I love your avatar, Elladorine! I so identified with that video when it was out in 93. I was going off to college and was hoping to find my own fellow bumblebees (and I did!).

Anyway, I agree with you. My answer to this question is that I wouldn't buy clothes I didn't really like if I were thinner. I had my third baby a few months ago so right now I mostly look for clothes to camouflage my belly. I don't want to buy clothes to hide something, I want to buy clothes because I love them!
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Old 03-30-2012, 12:05 PM   #21  
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I used to have to buy several pairs of the same pants if I really liked them. My thighs would rub together and I would wear out the thighs on the pants

I still have some unworn pairs.
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Old 03-30-2012, 01:17 PM   #22  
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Yes! It's honestly as if they shove us all into a shadowy little corner of the shop, away from all the "normal" people, so we won't take up too much room in the skinny section!

I find it really cute that your husband points out things he thinks would look cute on you! It's a shame he's completely clueless about the rules of women's fashion though, lol. You're right: 90% of stores, especially boutiques, will not cater for plus sizes. But what I find most depressing is the hideous state of plus-size fashion. I almost feel like starting a blog just to mock some of the things I've seen in local shops -- I truly think some people would be stunned by some of the things they're expecting plus-size women to wear. The clothes either resemble curtains or are else hideously inappropriate: Just last month I spotted a rack of purple and gold leopard-print mini-skirts in the plus-size section, going up to a size 26.

Now, if a big girl wants to wear a skirt like that then more power to her. But come on: How many big girls are actually going to wear something like that?

As for the cinema seat, I'm sure you'd fit into it just fine now! About four months ago I couldn't fit into the local cinema seats without shifting my a*se to one side. It was just too uncomfortable. But yesterday I saw a movie there for the first time since then and fitted into the seats just fine! Mind you it wasn't particularly roomy but I no longer have bruises on my hips the next morning!

P.S. Your weight loss is inspirational! Congrats!
I think the worst experience I ever had with clothes was at Macy's. I was looking for a new swimsuit and found nothing in my size, so I figured my best bet was to find the plus sized section in hopes that they had additional suits up there. It was on a whole other floor of course, completely away from all the other women's fashions, tucked in by the housewares. A sales clerk saw me looking around and asked if I needed help. I explained I was looking for swim suits, and she told me I was completely in the wrong section. And when I started to explain I'd already been through them on the other floor, she looked me up and down and snidely cut me off with, "Well, we wouldn't have anything that would fit you anyway." I walked away in a huff and cried about it once I got to the car. I figured Macy's was the place to go since I was able to find a perfect swim suit there at my highest weight not long before. She could have more politely explained they weren't currently carrying plus sized suits if that's what I was looking for, something like that, but with the way she said what she did it certainly came off as an insult. That was three years ago and I still refuse to shop at that location.

And I agree, most of the crap they design for plus sizes is just atrocious! Some of it might be forgivable if they didn't use such loud, crazy prints (like the mini skirts you described, yikes)! Some scoff at some of the clothes seen on peopleofwalmart but maybe they can't find much else to wear? If anyone should get attacked, it's the designers who made some of those things in the first place.

I probably would fit the seat now . . . I'm an apple so my butt's one of the smallest things on me. Then again it was the arms of the seats that were the real killer; I'd sort of have to slide in sideways and turn forward as I sat down since it would cut into the sides of my tummy. I haven't had that problem in ages, thankfully . . . about the only issue I've had since was fitting on an old amusment park ride. The bar would simply not lock in place over my stomach, but I was bigger then too so who knows. It's just one of those things we sometimes have to work on.

And thanks! The progress has been so slow that it's sometimes hard to believe I was ever any different of a size that I am now.

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I love your avatar, Elladorine! I so identified with that video when it was out in 93. I was going off to college and was hoping to find my own fellow bumblebees (and I did!).

Anyway, I agree with you. My answer to this question is that I wouldn't buy clothes I didn't really like if I were thinner. I had my third baby a few months ago so right now I mostly look for clothes to camouflage my belly. I don't want to buy clothes to hide something, I want to buy clothes because I love them!
Aw, thanks! It's funny, but I didn't discover the song until 1996 or so, when I was rummaging through my brother's CD's looking to make some mix tapes (wow, I so would have died for something like an iPod back then, lol). Our cable didn't offer MTV back in the day so most music videos were kind of foreign to me. Anyway, I didn't actually see the music video until sometime around 1999 when we first got VH1, and until then only knew the bee girl as the cover for the album. Just loved the video and wanted to find my fellow bees too (and so glad to hear you found yours)! It popped up in my head for some reason a few months back and I decided to draw my own version. I eventually realized that it was perfect to represent this journey I'm on and made it my avatar.

Yeah, that's pretty much my problem too. It's not often that I get to buy anything just because I like it, it's because I'm desperate for something that isn't worn out or faded or shrunken or stretched . . . and it's something to camouflage my body with, not something I enjoy. I so want to enjoy clothes right now but it's so hard when it feels like nothing fits or looks right anyway, and I have to settle on something that covers me adequately.
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Old 03-30-2012, 03:05 PM   #23  
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When I was thin I didn't care what I put in my mouth...now when I eat something I wonder if people are looking at me going. Should that fatty really be eating that? Also when I'm home I wonder when I eat something if my mom will say something about it because I'm "fat".

Thats about it...lol
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Old 03-30-2012, 03:34 PM   #24  
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Things I do at my current weight that I wouldn't do thin?

Avoid large crowds.
Avoid any parties that involve bathing suits.
Avoid mirrors.
Over do make up and hair ritual because I think it would pull the attention up and away from my stomach region.
Use tanning lotions- because tan fat has to look better than white fat.
Avoid sitting to close to someone, sitting on a lap, leaning on someone or having them help me up off a chair or the ground. I don't want someone to feel my full weight.
Cut to the chase by making a fat joke so that the people around me know that I know that I am overweight.
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Old 03-30-2012, 04:39 PM   #25  
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well lets see...

I wouldnt have to put talcum powder under my breasts, on my tummy or my back to absorb the sweat because i sweat horendously from all this fat im carrying around..

I wouldnt have to go into a plus size clothing store anymore..

I wouldnt have to take up two bus seats instead 1 would do me just fine..

I wouldnt have to forgo my favorite ride at the fair because i would fit in the chair.

I would no longer hide my face in shame when someone takes a picture of me...

I would no longer cut up all the pictures i have of me being fat

I would no longer be called "the different one" or the "bigger one" or the "bigger boned one"

I would no longer have to worry about my legs chafing because they smoosh together when i walk.

I would no longer have to worry about my pants sliding down my bum in public because they would actually fit my entire body instead of just parts of my body.

I would no longer have to ask for the bigger size or the biggest size they have.

I would no longer have to shop for granny panties..i could get girly panties instead.
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Old 03-30-2012, 10:13 PM   #26  
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I don't shop with other people. I am too embarrassed about my size and don't want others to know how big I am. And I too always look around the room as I hate being the biggest one in the room.
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:23 AM   #27  
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All of the above.
Chairs, when they look flimsy are my enemy! I'm always scared of clothes shopping, it's like a nightmare and I hide from mirrors like I'm a vampire. It's ridiculous. Going in to try clothing, is my most dreaded event. The neon lights that make everyone look horrible don't help anything and the stores with mirrors on the pillars and things in random places so if you turn in the wrong direction you get a full view of just how unattractive you are in the clothes your already wearing! Then pulling out something because the print of the color looks pretty and realizing it's too small and I get this weird feeling of shame and hurriedly put it back so no one sees me and thinks "oh look at the fat girl who thinks she can fit into normal sized clothes, why's she even in this department, the fat sections over there." I know people don't think this...i mean...i hope people don't think this? Do they? OH GOD! NO PANIC ATTACK!
And then the going swimming, I've always had an issue with this, even when I was skinny because I've always had gigantic boobs and have never found a suit that actually fits and boys used to stare when I would go to the pool. I hate the feeling of a wet t-shirt, so I end up making a big production of it because I get into the water and lift the shirt as I get in so it doesn't get wet, but the water is covering what the shirt isn't and when I'm entirely in, hold the shirt above my head over to the side and toss it so it doesn't get too wet, but i can still reach it so I can reverse the process on the way out, i figure the water is obscuring enough if I make sure my body is underwater at all times.

The eating in public is awful, or when I go to dinner with family or skinny friends or what's worse, my fiances family, Buffets are the worst because your supposed to eat a lot, but if I eat a lot I just know in my fat mind that they will judge me for eating when I'm a fat girl. And it sucks cause it didn't bother me when I was skinny...which might be why i'm not anymore.... hmmm

Having people help me, physically. I slipped a disc in my spine two years ago and sometimes I'm not so good at walking or standing or existing and my fiance and friends have to help me up off the floor quite a bit or help me get up the stairs (we live on the third floor) or help me to get out of bed, or into or out of the shower or well just about anything you can think of there are times my body refuses to let me do it and I need help and it stresses me out because I'm so heavy I'm afraid they'll get hurt trying to lift me or pull something trying to help me up. I feel like maybe they should just get a forklift to lift this giant cow in heat as my grama calls me.

Bah.
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Old 04-02-2012, 02:38 PM   #28  
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Broken chairs, broken toilet seats, not fitting in chairs, forget the bathroom on an airplane. Always look for chairs w/o arms and always ask for a table at a restaurant, 99% of booths are not big enough and when they are it leaves my kids/wife too far away from the table because I've moved the table or bench to get it to work for me.

I don't try shoes on at the store anymore. I know my size and buy and go or buy online. I've been embarrassed twice having difficulty tying my shoe in the store. Never again.

I wear a t shirt, suspenders and a shirt over the suspenders. Flying is a PITA for everyone, but the metal detector is a real pain. I bought a belt w/o any metal in it so I can wear my suspenders and belt through the metal detector. On flying days I wear sneakers tied very loosely so I can slip them on and off and still have the comfort and support of the sneakers for the often long walks through the airport.
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Old 04-03-2012, 10:58 AM   #29  
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Before even putting on a t-shirt I used to stretch it out and then put it on. I was doing some sort of t-shirt gymnatics to stretch it out as much as I could, and then after I had it on, there was more stretching.

Also, when I found a sweater or something that fit and didn't look horrible, I would buy 2 or 3 of them because I knew I'd be wearing them constantly and would wear out faster - and the thought of shopping made me sick on many levels.
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Old 04-03-2012, 04:55 PM   #30  
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There's a chain of stores in the metro Detroit area called Rainbow that actually has cute, stylish plus size clothes. The quality (fabric choices) are not as nice as what you'd find at Macy's but when I'd have somewhere to go on a weekend, say a bar-b-cue, family reunion, I could get something cute, size and age appropriate without spending a lot of money.
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