I just turned 30 in December, my husband will be 33 in April. We are waiting till this time next year to TTC. We have a house, cars, great jobs and are completely financially stable, and by that time, we will have been married 5 years and together 7. I'm too much of a planner to have had a kid already, LOL, so our waiting was right for me. Besides, once they are around you can't put them back, so you better be ready for them!!
My daughter I had in my mid-20's. This was shortly after having cysts, one of which led to a tumor so that they had to remove one of my ovaries. It was a pretty clear decision for us that it might be a now or never decision. We'd like another child but if that happens I'll be very early 30's before it happens. However, I saw my mom struggle for years with miscarriages and infertility before she had my sister so I know that getting pregnant as a young 30 year old might not be that easy (and realistically it might not happen at all, I've already had one miscarriage). I also have had many friends who have struggled with infertility in their very early 30's so I know it's a real thing. I only have one friend who TTCed in her early 30's and never had a miscarriage, all the others who I know who have TTCed in their early 30's have had at least one miscarriage. That being said, many have gone on to have healthy pregnancies afterwards.
All that is to say. You have to do what's best for your family BUT be realistic about it. You might be one of the lucky ones who has no struggles whosoever but statistically speaking dealing with fertility issues is a real thing and it does get harder once you enter your 30's. I think many times it gets sugar coated too much in the media (and it's an excuse for policy makers to ignore women rights when it comes to maternity leave, health care etc).
Sorry for the rant but it's an issue that strikes pretty close to my heart.
I'm 27 and I don't have kids yet. My boyfriend (28) and I have a plan in place and with any luck we'll have our first baby when I'm 30 or 31. This is after we buy a house (Moving in with his parents to save for a down payment NEXT WEEK), after we get married (He recently asked my ring size and we're going on a big vacation in August.. ohmygawd!), and after we have some time to be a married couple.
Thankfully we won't be pestered by our parents about grandchildren. His brother and sister are still in college and my brother and sister are 12 years old and 8 years old, so both sets of parents don't feel old enough for grandbabies haha.
27 and 29.... I wish we had had more kids. My DH traveled for work and I felt I made a great mom of two as ~nearly~ a single parent; but 4, which I originally wanted to have; I would have made a pull-your-hair-out-crazy mom.....now I regret it
I think I would make a better and less goal oriented mom now. I am 44. Don't get me wrong; my kids are doing great. My DD is a senior in HS with 3.9 GPA and 32 ACT score; she has a full scholarship for her college of choice (she wants to be a pharmacist) ...my second year HS son has 3.9+ GPA (he wants to go to medical school)...so yeah, I was "on top" and involved all the time... I just feel I wish I had been a more relaxed as parent and smelled the roses along the way. -- So maybe if I had been in my mid 30's as a new parent; i would have been more relaxed.
I am looking forward to being a grandparent and a relaxed one
There's various types of PCOS patients - at least 5.
I'm one of the ones that doesn't ovulate much. For TTC, that could be a prob!
A.
kinda wish my doctor would have clarified that during the diagnosis. it was just "here's the internal ultrasound picture showing a raspberry looking ovary instead of an almond looking ovary. you have pcos. read this. and here's a prescription for an estrogen + progestin birth control pill. have a nice day." she also gave me a pill to induce my period, so i could start on BCP... then i took the pill for a year... and my period has been regular as clockwork ever since. even when i was off the pill.
I was 26 with my first and 35 with my second. We had planned on having a 5 year gap (time when my husband was getting his PhD), but then we ran into infertility issues. I'm sure my weight played in part of that too. It was after I dropped a bit of weight that I got pregnant, so who knows.
The one we had at 26 was WAY harder. I was in grad school and when I finished, DH started his PhD. We were sooooooooo strapped for cash, time, etc. The second time we were better off financially, but I didn't have as much patience. I didn't handle the sleep deprivation as well. I could feel I was older.
I'm now 42 with a 15 year old with very strong ADHD and a 6 year old who is high functioning autistic. My hands are FULL as a parent and having more seems like an insane thing to think about. My husband has always been there, but he was either doing his PhD stuff or working long hours. THAT part I didn't expect as a parent - to be doing it so much alone. He was gone 8 am to 7 pm. He came home, we ate and then the little one went to bed and he would go unwind while I spent time with the other one.
It's only been in the last two years that he has gotten more involved (when he had a job change) and it has made a HUGE difference in my life. Probably made it easier for me to start taking care of myself.
I guess all of this is to say, "it's never easy". But it's also YOUR decision and no one elses. You two need to do what is right for you as a family.
I asked this on different thread; what causes PCOS? I read two things; being overweight causes PCOS and the second thing I read; PCOS causes women to be over weight-- Do "skinny" women have this problem and then they gain weight?
I was 36 & 38 when I had my two daughters, I am now 50. I can honestly say it is a lot harder to have children when you are older. I don't have the git-up-and-go that I had when I was younger but on the other had my life is less stressed now. I do wish that I could run and play like I did when I was younger, but otherwise I have a great deal of fun with my girls.
I had my daughter when I was 30, and we'll be trying for our second this year, meaning I'll probably be 33 around the time he/she will be born. I didn't really choose to start having kids until my 30's, I just didn't meet my husband until I was 26 and we didn't marry until I was 29, so that's why I started at that age.
It's definitely a personal choice, and everyone is different, but I am glad I was a little older when I had my first.
I had 3 super-easy, healthy pregnancies. I never had even a bit of morning sickness with any of them (I know, it's hard to believe!), and I was obese for the lot of them (starting weight around 240, 248, and 255 pounds).
I got pregnant on the first month with baby #1, the second month with baby #2, and the first month with baby #3 (at age 40). I had one miscarriage, the month we conceived my third, but it was on the 3rd day after I got a positive pregnancy test. If I hadn't tested, I would have just thought it was a slightly late period. Our third son was conceived the month after that miscarriage.
So yes, I DO realize I'm ridiculously lucky and probably won the genetic lottery for baby-making (my grandmother had 12 children)... but at the same time, it's not all doom and gloom for late pregnancies. I had natural (no medication) childbirth with all 3 of my babies, and the third was born at home with a midwife. My only pregnancy complaint was heartburn.
I think your timeline and your plan are great - sounds like in a couple of years you'll be well-set-up for a baby. In the meantime, keep up with your own plan!
I asked this on different thread; what causes PCOS? I read two things; being overweight causes PCOS and the second thing I read; PCOS causes women to be over weight-- Do "skinny" women have this problem and then they gain weight?
i don't know, but in the time after college my weight shot up from around 200 to 275 in about a year. i had just moved and was definitely eating some of my loneliness, but i don't think i was eating 80 pounds worth of loneliness in a year. as the weight ballooned, my period disappeared. in a 2 year time span after the major weight gain, i only got my period 3 times. saw the doctor, got my diagnosis, panicked and ate my way up to 300 pounds thinking I'M NEVER HAVING KIDS MY LIFE IS OVER in an overly dramatic fashion.... then my period came back regular as clock work, after a year on the pill and last year my doctor told me that the more weight i lose, the easier it will be to conceive, and i shouldn't have much trouble if my period continues to be regular.
i don't know if it was the PCOS that made my weight jump, or if it was my finding comfort in the fridge that led to PCOS developing. but from everything i've read, becoming a healthy weight can reduce or eliminate the symptoms. one of the many reasons i'm trying to lose weight.
I was 22 with my first and 28 with my 4th (and last). I always knew that I wanted to be done having my kids by the time I hit 30.....Several of my friends in their early to mid 30s are having kids now. To each his/her own.
I asked this on different thread; what causes PCOS? I read two things; being overweight causes PCOS and the second thing I read; PCOS causes women to be over weight-- Do "skinny" women have this problem and then they gain weight?
Actually, no one knows exactly what triggers PCOS. But they do suspect part of it may be genetic, as it travels in families. For example, my sister has PCOS and my father's side of the family is full of diabetics.
PCOS is an imbalance of your endocrine system and from what I've read for those that have IR with PCOS, it's probably related to the weakening of the pancreas (which does so much, not just excrete insulin!).
PCOS causes your hormones to be out of whack, that includes your progesterone, your estrogen, and your testosterone, along with your FSH, LH, and your adrogens.
Because it affects your FSH/LH and adrogens (this is what regulates a woman's cycle and release of the egg for fertilization), a lot of women with PCOS can have issues conceiving. But the issues aren't only related to ovulation, since many can ovulate, but also the ability to keep the pregnancy and not miscarry, and complications during pregnancy. Well, it adds a whole lot of other complications that aren't pregnancy related either -- like excess hair in the wrong places or missing hair (head), acne, obesity, insulin resistance, and so on.
The insulin resistance is really where a lot of people find that the vicious cycle of weight gain and loss drives them batty. Our bodies (since I have PCOS/IR) aren't secreting the right amounts of insulin, then we end up overeating, which causes us to increase in weight and our bodies are taking that excess glucose from the carby delicious things we eat and stores them into fat.
Being overweight does NOT cause PCOS. If you are struggling losing weight and you are eating reasonably (and not in denial about what you're consuming) you may have something wrong. It might be PCOS if you display some of the other symptoms associated with it.
For example, I never got my period regularly without the help of BCP. I gained weight very quickly and even being on a low calorie diet, I lost weight slowly if at all.
In order to treat it, I had to understand how my body was processing the foods that I was eating, include regular exercise to balance the glucose in my body, and accept that my body was going to let go of the weight slowly.
There are a number of different treatment options, personally, I go for the more natural ones and my PCOS has been managed well through that. I think I even ovulated last month and I'm not trying to get pregnant! I've been off BCP and getting my period regularly.
Some people think that bPA (found in cans, plastics, etc.) and other pollutants affect our endocrine systems and have caused women who otherwise don't have a genetic link to the disease to develop it. Nothing conclusive, but it really makes me think about all the stuff I've ingested throughout the years and if I could have handled my PCOS earlier had I known that.
I hope that helps! No children here, don't want them, but I have tons of friends who did, both with issues and non-issue. My aunt had her second child at 43, so it's all possible. It was NOT an accident.
I was 18, 21, and 28. I wish that my ex-hubby and I would have had time to just be a married couple for a while before having kids. A friend of mine from high school that is a year older than me had her first when I had my last one. There is nothing wrong with having a plan. Remember plans can change when you least expect it too. Do what is right for the two of you.
I'm single...just kinda stumbled onto this thread...but just wondering...for those of you who conceived after your mid 30s...were you worried about birth defects? If i ever get married/have a baby, it will be in or after my mid 30s, so i wonder about that.
