Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaala
My fiance and I are scheduled to be married in September.
We are quiet people who both feel overwhelmed when thinking about a big wedding. We both feel the wedding is for everyone else. We are very much in love and excited to start our lives together.
We wanted to get married legally in the courthouse soon so that we could feel settled and relaxed in the time leading up to the big wedding.
My mother (lives across the country) thinks that this shows a lack of respect for them, she thinks it will "break your fathers heart..."
She also thinks it shows that my fiance wasn't raised properly and that the wedding after the courthouse would be a big sham.
Now I am torn. I want to honor my parents but I disagree with everything she has said about it and I feel hurt that she seems to be thinking more about herself then about what I would like.
I am the type to do what will make everyone happy and keep things calm and peaceful.
I am close to just telling my fiance that we should wait, but if I did that at this point it would seem as though my mother had a stronger pull/was a stronger force in my life than maybe she should be.
Ahh! It's complicated.
Any advice would be very appreciated.
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I am so sorry that you are being GUILT tripped into doing something you don't want to do. You both need to do what YOU are comfortable and want to do. Not what your parents want you to do.
I know if I should ever get married, it will not be a big to do wedding. I'm not comfortable in crowds, esp when everyone is looking at me. Not to mention the crazy amount of money that gets spend on weddings. ( For those who want to do it and spend it, by all means, do. It means a lot for lots of people to have the big wedding. I'm just not one of them )
Big hugs. In the end, do what you both agree on.
