Originally Posted by Kaala (Post 4224132)

My fiance and I are scheduled to be married in September.

We are quiet people who both feel overwhelmed when thinking about a big wedding. We both feel the wedding is for everyone else. We are very much in love and excited to start our lives together.

We wanted to get married legally in the courthouse soon so that we could feel settled and relaxed in the time leading up to the big wedding.

My mother (lives across the country) thinks that this shows a lack of respect for them, she thinks it will "break your fathers heart..."
She also thinks it shows that my fiance wasn't raised properly and that the wedding after the courthouse would be a big sham.

Now I am torn. I want to honor my parents but I disagree with everything she has said about it and I feel hurt that she seems to be thinking more about herself then about what I would like.

I am the type to do what will make everyone happy and keep things calm and peaceful.

I am close to just telling my fiance that we should wait, but if I did that at this point it would seem as though my mother had a stronger pull/was a stronger force in my life than maybe she should be.

Ahh! It's complicated.
Any advice would be very appreciated.