Congrats on the upcoming wedding!

I'm not married- my fiance and I are getting married next year- so I can't give you advice on that :). But we have lived together and I can say that that there was a LOT we had to pay close attention to when we moved in together. It was very clearly a move from the lovey-dovey romance to the nitpicky ins and outs of a long-term partnership. Balancing housework responsibilities, navigating our social life as a couple (and realizing that what he does when we're with friends reflects on me and vice verse), spending time together versus apart even in the same household all were things to work through. We are still very, very happy... it just required a lot of "growing up" in our relationship that I didn't realize.

We have been doing a lot of premarital work, like sacha mentioned, and I would highly recommend it. We bough secular books written by psychologists and received religious books from the priest who will marry us. We try to read a chapter out loud to each other at least once a week. I can already tell in the way we argue and approach confrontation that both of us are taking to heart some of the issues raised in our books. It's been quite a valuable experience.

Financial disagreements are the #1 reason for divorce in the United States. You're smart to want financial advice. But different things work for different people. Some people are big on sharing & others aren't. Some people insist on separate bank accounts; others insist on one account with both acting as spenders/savers.

The best advice I think a person can take into a marriage is this:

Six Financial Mistakes Couples Make

I think it is sound advice that will help you not only in your marriage but in your financial status for years to come.

Good luck, and congrats on your upcoming wedding! :congrat:

His parents aren't coming?? If he had my parents, they would have been thrilled! My Mom has been begging me to get married FOREVER. I guess you had a bit of bad luck there, not everything can be perfect.

One time I remember reading a statistic about those who marry their first love/highscool sweetheart, namely that they are more likely to stay together (I can't confirm it, just saying I've heard it). Apparently the less partners/relationships you've had, the more likely you will be satisfied with your mate.

The more relationships people have, the choosier or pickier they become.

Uh-oh, that means I'm screwed! But, you guys will probably stay together! LOL

Btw, it is hard being a teenager. I think back to my teenage years and shudder - that transition between child and adult, people still telling you what to do, not taking you seriously. It is not easy, but sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.

I agree that using cash is a great way to keep spending in check. When you're ready to make a bigger purchase that requires credit, it's good to have a good credit history, and you get a good credit history by borrowing and repaying your loans. Search out credit cards that give low interest rates, pay over the minimum. Keep the number of cards to a minimum (2 to 3), it will be easier to keep track of and keep your debt down. And you may have an emergency when a credit card could be crucial (car breaks down).

Budgeting is a great idea too (though I have a tough time getting bf to do this, when I was single I did it). You're going to have unexpected expenses.

farmers markets are usually (much) more expensive than grocery stores. Ask around, family and friends, to steer you towards the cheapest stores (some places sell in bulk) in your area. mom and pops tend to be more expensive too. chains buy and sell in larger quantities, they get bulk discounts, and pass that on to the consumer. cooking at home (unless you consistently go gourmet) is much cheaper than eating out, even at cheap restaurants.

I know it's not going to be easy, but reconcile with family. They'll get over the youthful marriage at some point, and I think their emotional support could be a big deal for the two of you. Not to mention they may be able to help out in lots of other ways: advice, contacts to help you with your goals, etc (if and when you decide to have kids). I know that's not always true, people have all sorts of situations with their in-laws and family, but cultivate your ports for possible future storms. (and then there's hand me down furniture ;-) )

relationship wise, as several others here have said, the more you can let the small things go, the better; be open and willing to discuss what you're experiencing in an honest way; and cultivate empathy. cultivate empathy. did I say cultivate empathy? ha.

As far as DIY wedding ideas go, a simple, and easy idea is go to the dollar store and buy the votive candles in your color scheme (I asked the woman who ran the store to order 100 in blue, and 100 in white), and I bought a roll or two of the wrapping cellophane (like those used with flowers, or gift baskets), and a couple rolls of curling ribbon, and I made the take home gifts for the wedding guests. It took about 3 days at a couple hours a day. I wrapped two candles, one of each color in the cellophane, and tied with the ribbon and curled. They looked great, and people really liked them.