I don't want to insult anyone's beliefs here, but I think people overrate "first time sex".
Did you ride your bicycle like a pro the first time you hit the pedals? Was your ever first pancake a Chef-level success? Unless you are Captain Kirk I'd guess "no".
Neither is first time sex so easy to "perfect" without prior experience.
The best sexual experiences in a loving couple are usually the latest ones not the first. It needs time for two people to know what they like and what they do not like.
I know of course that every couple is different etc, but I personally know no man or woman who'd be sexually content with only 2 times per month. Sexual activity is important to most people's psychological health and it makes the onion-ring type arguments vanish for the couples I know, me included.
Wedding days are also overrated. Even if your wedding day is the greatest failure in wedding day history it's no big deal. It's just a party during which you celebrate a relationship with a future. It does not dictate how good the rest of your life with your lover will be.
My Sis had a dream-wedding and a sour divorce. A friend of mine just signed a marital paper in the Mayor's office one bland day and is happily married with two kids.
Do not let failures stop you or make you stop others from improving and enjoying the now.
You sound a bit like a perfectionist to me, which can be great in education and in some types of jobs, but it is a pain in relationships.
You'll just make yourself miserable if everything has to be perfect. I'm just assuming here of course, so don't be insulted. There is no way I can know you from just a few posts.
The hardest things for some people to get used to in a relationship are small annoying things. Yes, he'll fart, go to the bathroom, fail during sex a few times, leave a disgusting mess in the kitchen and leave a sock on your comb etc etc.
All this is nothing before the joy of companionship. At least to me :)

Perhaps the ladies are right and you need a councelor to straighten things up.