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Old 09-28-2011, 12:16 AM   #1  
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Default Non- food problem to solve, need any advice, help, ideas?

My child is a high functioning ASD kid, and I've just found a school I just have to send him to.
The issue is that it's private, and the tuition is 18K a year plus, I have to drive him which, believe me I"m willing to do it, but it's a difficult trek to do.

I have been spending thousands on him since he was born in all kinds of alternative therapies. He's done so well and come so far. This is a program that can really make a significant change in his ability to learn and function. I just know I have to do it...but...

I'm maxed out on loans, we took out a educational loan for him already and we've used equity in the house to pay for things. I don't regret any of that, but we have little in savings, no cc debt, a little car debt, and alot of mortgage debt. My hubby is stressed thinking about how we'll manage, but he tends to just go along with my decisions as I've really made a difference in our child's life so far.

I can take the money from a place where it will incur more debt, and I'm willing but scared. Just a little. It doesnt' take much of a bump in the road to challenge our (or anyone's these days) financial situation. Not to mention we are in our 50's so there isn't exactly forever to recover and try to provide for ourselves in later years.

I tried finding a way for the public school system to fund it, no luck...none at all, it won't work. I asked around for private lenders, thinking some wealthy person might loan me the money at a better interest rate than the banks. I tried borrowing but wow, personal loans are very high interest.

Any thoughts? Can anyone relate to my need/desire/obligation to help my child no matter what? There may be no money for any college, but, if I don't do this school, he may never be able to get to college.

Crazy thing is our school district spends more than this tuition on his education every year, but they won't agree to direct it here. Crazy...he isn't getting what he needs and yet they throw money at the system to teach him what doesn't work.

Love and appreciate feedback, hugs, thank you...purr
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Old 09-28-2011, 12:44 AM   #2  
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You live in my state and we have excellent resources for helping children with special needs. Unfortunately districts do not always want to do this due to budget constraints, but they are LEGALLY OBLIGATED to.

I find it deplorable that the school district won't help you, but honestly I'm not surprised because it happens more often than it should. How hard did you fight to get your child's tuition funded (or any treatment)? Some parents have unfortunately had to sue the school districts to get their special needs children's tuition paid for. You might want to do your homework in this area because you really shouldn't have to pay for expensive schooling just because the school district can't provide what you need.

Ask around, I'm sure there are parent advocates or other people who have been through what you have. They may be able to give you advice on what your next step should be or how you can go about getting the school district to fund this.

I'm a special education teacher and quite honestly it hits a sore spot when I hear about stories like yours . It really breaks my heart that you have to go through all of this just so your son gets an education. I totally admire you though and I completely understand that you would go through all of this for him.
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Old 09-28-2011, 01:06 AM   #3  
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Number 1: keep fighting the district. It's worth it.
Number 2: It is fantastic and I admire that you are willing to do whatever it takes. You can't go back in time and by doing when you know is best for your child you will have no regrets. (I just watched Temple Grandin the other day - watch it if you haven't seen it. The scene at the end with the mom had me bawling.)
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Old 09-28-2011, 10:25 AM   #4  
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I don't really know anything about this sort of thing, but this is just out-of-the-box thinking: Can you move to a state/district that does have excellent benefits for children like your son? This would probably a good long-term investment if you can get a big difference in benefits.
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Old 09-28-2011, 01:27 PM   #5  
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I know absolutely nothing about such things. I was just wondering reading this if the new school might have grants or payment plans for tuition.
I admire you and hope you find an avenue to pursue.
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Old 09-29-2011, 02:26 PM   #6  
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Like the previous posters, I don't know much about this but is it possibly to get social security or disability or some sort of benefits along those lines for your son?

Also, does this school have a scholarship program or means-based assistance?
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Old 09-29-2011, 02:40 PM   #7  
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I just want to offer a virtual hug. My mom is a special education teacher and my sister is a special education teacher's assistant. We all have soft spots for special needs kids,high or low functioning. I don't know much about states and tuition for special needs children, but I do know that I think you're an excellent momma and as some have said, keep fighting.
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Old 09-30-2011, 10:45 PM   #8  
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Wow, thank you all so much for your comments. They really mean so much to me.
I looked at every option I could find, but the special ed lawyer said we'd win...would cost alot, BUT the state reserves the right to veto the decision at the end of the day. With costs as they are, it's very unlikely it will work.

so, I listened to my heart and I'm going ahead to borrow the money and send him to this school. I can't live with the thought of regret that I didn't try everything at my disposal, and I can't think about taking retirement vacations knowing I could have helped him get more opportunity in life to make more choices for himself.

Thank you for your kindness in responding. I have to say at least I"ve not been eating over the distress, that's NEW and good for me.

thanks...hugs to you all.
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Old 09-30-2011, 11:02 PM   #9  
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My 13yr old boy has Aspergers.. we are having a very tough time with him right now.. so, I can certainly feel your pain.
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Old 10-01-2011, 12:01 AM   #10  
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How old is your boy ?
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