| Rainbowgirl |
09-30-2011 03:54 PM |
I, myself, try not to base my thoughts and feelings on "showing" someone up. I had a really rough childhood in school (assaults, bullying, etc) for most of my school life (grade 1 through 12 anyway) and there were many people I used to wish I could show how awesome I am at whatever time I was feeling that emotion. But I doubt in the end it would matter much to them and since they they mean so little to me now, really nothing more than background information in my life, I can't think of many I would really like to stick it to.
Except one.
One girl who used to be my best friend, and who stabbed me in the back repeatedly, while smiling to my face. The girl who, when I finally moved from that h*llhole town, had to then do everything I had been doing (after learning about it through my younger sister, who was best friends with this girl's new best friend's sister). When I took violin lessons, SHE signed up for lessons with the SAME teacher on the SAME day (an hour later) than me. When I was taking Japanese in high school, she took it in university. I had gone Goth in grade 9 (while still friends with her), but after she graduated, she's now Goth/punk. I moved to Vancouver, now she's in Vancouver.
I used to be friends with her on Facebook and then I thought "why? What has she ever done for me?"
Three years after I left the town we lived in, and 3 years after she sent me an angry e-mail hoping I was killed, and praying that I was bullied in my new school, and telling me that WHEN I came "crawling" back to the old town, she'd never be friends with me, she called me and apologized, but on the condition that I admitted I did things to her. She couldn't name one bad thing I'd ever done for her because I was -always- there for her. The other thing that annoys me about her, and perhaps factors into my desire to "best" her, is that she has the same name as I do, and growing up we were always compared to one another by EVERYONE. She always got straight A's, I always got C's and B's. Even my own mother asked me when I was 7 why I couldn't be more like her, while at THEIR house, in front of her parents, and my response (I remember very clearly while playing with their nativity set) was "Because I'm me, and not her." Even now, if mom hears any gossip about this girl, she tells me. I don't want to hear it. One part of me wishes she just never existed in my life. The other part wants to rub every good thing that's happened to me in her face.
More than getting thin though, I want to get my higher education - get my education as a respiratory therapist, and then an anesthesia assistant. And then re-friend her on Facebook, so she can see how truly awesome I am.
And how none of her negativity ever held me back.
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