WARNING: Before you read my post please note it is really depressing.

I live in a small community. My kids go to a small school, I have a daughter who graduated in 2010 with only 28 kids in their graduating class. Even if they were not all the best of friends, it was a close class and they all grew up together. During my daughters sophomore year in high school, one of her best friends was killed in a car accident. The driver of the car was ok but his younger sister died. I was very hard on the community can class and my daughter still mourns her friends passing.
On Friday another one of her classmates was killed in an accident. This young lady was homecoming queen, active in all types of sports at school and she had a very bright future. She was also the girl that my daughter always seem to be in competition with for school awards and such. (My daughter was in homecoming court too). Anyway, I am feeling very guilty because I did not make more of an effort to get to know this young lady on a personal level because I did not want to feel disloyal to my daughter.
Her family is well respected and liked in my community. They are both successful people and as much as I hate to admit it, I have always been jealous of them and have not make an effort to get to know them.
I fell so bad for this young girls family. She left behind a mother, father, younger sister and older brother. My heart breaks for the pain they suffer and my guilt for allowing my petty insecurities keep from knowing them is killing me.
On top of this guilt, when my daughter called and told me the news, my first thought was "Thank god it was not my kid". How selfish can I be. I am really sad about it today.

I think it is normal to have that thought. You shouldn't feel guilty. You can't change the past, you can only change your habits moving forward. Reach out. See if they need someone to plan dinners.

You can do something thoughtful for this family. In their sorrow, they won't feel much like cooking and might possibly have a houseful of people.

A lovely meal (easy to freeze/easy to reheat) in a container you don't need returned would be appreciated.

When my stepfather died, our friends/neighbors were so kind, we had hams, lasagnas, sandwich trays, desserts. It was so wonderful not to have to think about food or preparing food for all the people staying with my mom.