[Kateryna]

I think the only way to know he is the guy for you is to follow your heart and be alone or date for a while.

My story was similar to yours. I met my now husband when I was 16 and we dated for 4 years before I felt my feeling towards him cooled down but otherwise he was as some would say "a perfect catch" - loving and encouraging, supportive no matter what. So after 4 years I struggled but decided I needed a break and broke up with him, it was so hard as like you when he asked "Why" - I had no reasons and couldn't explain myself. After all was said and done I went wild dating and it was fun and exciting but a year after I realized that allthe hotties and great guys I dated couldn't understand me to the fullest and some just annoyed and irritated me 20 min into a date. So I called my x back and he took me back with open arms, two years later married and three years later had twins ;-)

Now looking back at it and me still being young (I'm 27) I know for sure it was the right decision to break up then as it gave me an opportunity to experience other things since we started dating so young and now I never think "Oh, we've been together so long but what if.." because I have experienced that and never been more sure I made a right decision.

Hope this helps!

[Kateryna]

And yes, completely agree with others - "butterflies in your stomach" feeling are just not realistic after 2-3 years, marriage, kids and life. Love and lust are two different things.

[XLMuffnTop]

My husband and I are going on five years of marriage. I know that's not a long time in the grand scheme of things but for me, being just shy of 28 it is.

We have two kids, I work full time and go to school part time, he's a full time student in a rigorous program. Add a mortgage, student loan debt, house keeping, cooking, grocery shopping, bills, etc, etc, etc... It gets hectic and sometimes I feel like running away (for a day or two ). But I think to say you can't get butterflies after 6 months or even a few years is inaccurate. Is it common to continue? No. Will you always have that feeling? Absolutely not.

But there are times when my husband and I look at each other without saying anything and I feel like crying because I'm so lucky, or he'll send me a random text message saying how much he cares about me and the kids. It does make me giddy from head to toe and quite tingly. It's those moments that carry us through the low points of less time, attention and affection.

It is hard to decipher the reality of relationships from reaching the end of one. For me personally, it was always a matter of whether I look forward to seeing them on an average day and when was the last time I got excited about alone time. Has it been days? weeks? months? or even more? If that time between excitement gets longer and longer, I knew it was time to move on.

This happened in particular with one guy I dated from the age of 15 to 20. He's a good guy, treated me well, always nice and respectful, but we just weren't meant to be married; it would have been disastrous. We still even talk from time to time and he's met my husband.

Krampus, I'm glad you made a decision that feels right to you.

[Rana]

I think you made the right decision for you.

I don't think you should be in a relationship just because you're afraid of finding someone. That's the worst way of living life! Fear can't rule your life.

And the truth of the matter is that we will always find someone. We are human and we humans like to be in relationships with each other.

You did the best that you could for yourself and for him. I also think that the fact that you were living abroad is enough to also change who you are and how you perceive your life. And while he may have been perfect if you had never gone overseas, you did and you changed and now he'll be perfect for someone else.

Enjoy your parents and good luck getting used to be back in the USA.

[christine123]

I hate to sound like a "mom" on here, but why the rush to get serious so early in life? I think it's great that some of you met your partners in your 20s. But I think people tend to grow and change a lot throughout their 20s. Some people may be completely different in their 30s. I know I am. I don't see the purpose of settling down at such a young age just to avoid the possibility of being single. There's still a lot to do in life, a lot of people to meet, and a lot to experience that could very well shape your experiences and who/what they are looking for out of life. Just my 2 cents.

[krampus]

Thanks everyone for your perspective and helpful anecdotes. I'm in no rush to get serious any time soon...the whole point of being single is so that I can work on myself and act selfishly!

[toraziyal]

I think you absolutley made the right decision.

As for myself, I met my ex-husband when I was in college. Needless to say we got married right after even though I had second thoughts about everything. And now we're divorced 10 years later.

I wished that I had never gotten married and lived my 20's. Now I feel like that part of my life was wasted and now I'm catching up.

I personally think that if something is meant to be somehow it always works itself out.

Good luck!