i have two boys, one is 5 and the other is 13

i was 19 when i got pregnant, 20 when he was born, and my other son i was 28 or 29 when he was born

i always said, when i was younger, that i dont want kids, i only want grandkids LOL....but now that i'm older the primary focus of my life is on children, not just my own, but other relatives that we've helped foster-raise and with the students at my school with my job

we are not currently having any more kids because we can't afford the combination of mortgage plus two children in full-price childcare....i also personally do not want another 2 years of being up half the night with little babies lol

Grandkids are God's reward for not killing your own. :)

My son was born when I was 26. I always, always wanted kids. I got married young (22) because I was in such a hurry to have a baby (I never thought past the baby part). He was in the military, so due to deployments it was 4 years before we had one. The marriage didn't last, and the older my son gets, the less I want another someday. I love being an auntie, so that cures any temporary baby cravings. I wish I had appreciated my freedom while I had it. I love my son, don't get me wrong, but it can be a drag to find a good babysitter!

I don't have children, but not for lack of desire to have them. :)

I always knew I wanted children, and the urge to get started hit me around 27 or so, but it took my husband longer to be ready. We finally started trying to conceive a little over a year and a half ago, when we were both 31. After ~17 months of trying we found out in June that we were pregnant, but after a few weeks it became apparent that it was an ectopic pregnancy. I was in intense pain and required surgery to remove the pregnancy, and when my surgeon got in there he found that I have severe endometriosis. We won't be able to continue to try to get pregnant the usual way as the chances of another ectopic pregnancy are too high, but we will be starting IVF this fall.

I'd say that as long as nothing in your medical or family history suggests that you might have infertility issues, there's no big rush to get started soon, especially if you're not really sure it's what you want.

I will say though that I'm glad we found out about my condition now (I just turned 33), as the chances of success with fertility treatments really starts to decline after the age of 35. At the fertility center I'll be going through they won't even do IVF with your own eggs past the age of 38. If you can't conceive naturally, your options just become more limited as you reach your mid and late 30s.

I have two. I had my first at 21 and my second last year at 27. I always thought I wanted kids but didn't really think that my lack of patience would make mothering hard. It's definitely a struggle and although I love my kids sometimes I wish I could run away and be single and free. I wish I had waited longer. Both of my kids are oops babies.

I have two kids age 11 months and a 4 year old. I was 23 and just shy of 27 when I had them. The first wasn't exactly planned but we already knew we'd have kids. My husband had an older son from a previous marriage and was part of a big (five boys! :eek: ) family. I'm actually happy with the timing of our kids' births; if we waited longer my husband would have been in his 40s and that just didn't suit our style.

Like other parents have chimed in, kids are challenging and each one is so different, even siblings/twins. It's pretty normal to long for the solitude of single life or married with no kids sometimes. I think I'd look at someone funny if they said they never got frustrated, irritated or just plain fed up being a parent.

Having kids is so personal and it varies for everyone. Some people don't intent to get pregnant and turn out to be great parents and others.. well not so much. Sometimes people long for children and can't have them and go on to do great things in their lives that really make an impact either locally or globally. Kids do not define you. You're obviously putting a lot of thought in this and that's the best thing you can do to ensure your decision is best for your life, not someone elses.

Originally posted by XLmuffintop:

Originally Posted by :
Like other parents have chimed in, kids are challenging and each one is so different, even siblings/twins. It's pretty normal to long for the solitude of single life or married with no kids sometimes. I think I'd look at someone funny if they said they never got frustrated, irritated or just plain fed up being a parent.

Having kids is so personal and it varies for everyone. Some people don't intent to get pregnant and turn out to be great parents and others.. well not so much. Sometimes people long for children and can't have them and go on to do great things in their lives that really make an impact either locally or globally. Kids do not define you. You're obviously putting a lot of thought in this and that's the best thing you can do to ensure your decision is best for your life, not someone elses.

Love what the above poster said!


I have 2 children, ages 4(daughter) and 22 mos(son). I didn't play "mommie" or house or anything like that when I was growing up, so I never pictured myself being a mother. When I met my husband, I began wanting children. It was such a foreign feeling! I had my daughter when I was 22 and my son when I was 24 (almost 25). They were both planned.

It turned out to be perfect timing. Both times we would start "trying", we would hear that my husband's brother and his wife had conceived! So, our oldest kids are 9 wks apart and the babies are 5 wks apart! Perfect for play dates. Even funnier is the difference in ages for me and my sister in law: 9 years. So please don't feel like you're running outta time. Children are a blessing, time them so they stay that way!!!!! ;) Love all the input in this thread

Originally Posted by djs06:
1. Do you have kids?

I have one almost 4 year old daughter.

Originally Posted by djs06:
2. How old were you when you had your first?

I was 25 when I gave birth to her.

Originally Posted by djs06:
3. Did you always know you wanted kids?

I didn't want kids at all, and ended up with a surprise (and blessed, though I didn't know it at the time) pregnancy. I have never wanted to birth children, though I thought I was an excellent step-mother. It turns out that I'm also a pretty good bio mom, but I still don't really like kids other than those that are close to me. The "aww, babies" gene skipped right over me.

Originally Posted by djs06:
4. If you don't have kids-what went into the decision not to have kids?

N/A

1. Do you have kids? Yes, 3 kiddos. 3.5 years old, 22 months and almost 4 months. We're still debating having another, but feel we're probably done.

2. How old were you when you had your first? I was 24 with my first, 26 with my second and 27 with my third

3. Did you always know you wanted kids? Always, I've never wanted anything more than to be a wife and mom. I really have no interest in doing those "young" things like partying or traveling unless it's with my kids/dh. It's what I've always felt I was destined to do in life. I'm one of those girls who was always babysitting and taking care of other people's babies and couldn't wait to have my own. In fact dh and I tried for around 5 years to get pg before we had our first, she's our miracle baby.


But not everyone knows for sure, and it's good that you're taking the time to think it through and decide before rushing into anything. Good luck with your decision!

I will be 28 in a few months and I do not have any kids.

I go back and forth on it quite a bit, I *think* I want kids, but when I'm around other people's screaming toddlers, going home to my place, where I can watch whatever I want on TV, sleep in however long I like... it's blissful.

I also consider the fact that before I have kids, I want to have a masters degree and be a home owner - to feel settled in somewhere which is pretty much the opposite of how I feel right now.

That being said, if I happened to get pregnant, I would be happy. However, I'm not about go *trying* to get pregnant. If, by whatever chance, I didn't end up getting pregnant on my own by my mid-30s, I would probably choose to adopt. If my boyfriend were more keen on kids right now, I would probably be more open to trying but he isn't sure he ever wants children - a thorny part of our relationship.

I've never played with baby dolls, never felt that tug outside of raising baby/sick animals.
We've always wanted the couples-only lifestyle since we were dating :)
I know there are lots of great parents out there though, my friends will be included in that group shortly..I hope I hope.

1. Do you have kids?

I have 2 children

2. How old were you when you had your first?

My first was at 20 and my second at 27

3. Did you always know you wanted kids?

I am the 3rd oldest of 10 children. I was responsible for all my siblings, getting them fed before/after school, waking them up for school, picking them up from school, looking out for them after school. I was sheltered. When I graduated high school and went on to college, I didn't want any children. I just wanted to be able to live a care free life. My care-free life changed when I became pregnant at 19. After having my 1st I didn't want any more kids but as the years came and went, I felt incomplete. I tried and tried to conceive a 2nd child but ended up with 5 miscarriages. After 7 years I was able to conceive via in vitro fertilization.

Although I did not want any kids in the beginning, I would not change anything. My children made me who I am today.

Do I have children: 1

How old was I when she was born: I got pregnant at 18 and had her at 19

Did I know I always wanted kids: No, Id always said I didnt want any children and was set on that (granted I was 18) but then once I knew I was pregnant there wasn't a doubt in my mind that I would have and raise her. Her dad and I stayed together for 2 years after her birth.

I do want more children...I didn't actually feel that way until I turned 23 and the urge has gradually gotten stronger. I am engaged to be married in spring of 2013. We plan to have atlest 1 child together, maybe 2.

I don't mind having children in my later 20's, but I wouldn't want to wait into my 30's. There are random personal reasons. I'd like my DD to be able to have a sibling close to her age and I have a hard enough time being energetic as it is...I need all the help of age on that one I can get.

Do what works for you though! Kids are a life changing event. My 5 year old is currently begging me to play an online girly dress up game while I'm trying to write this and we are watching Barbie in Paris for the 3rd time today (it's 10:3am)....it's a different kind of nice :D

Originally Posted by jigglefree:
1. Do you have kids? Yes

2. How old were you when you had your first? 43

3. Did you always know you wanted kids? I never wanted kids and would tell anyone that would listen that my body wasn't a baby making factory. When I turned 40 I had a change of heart. I really wanted to be married and have 1 child. Three years later I got married and pregnant all in the same year. I'm glad I waited because I make very sound decisions, I don't feel like I'm missing anything because i did it all before I had my daughter. I've never been asked if I was the grandmother and if I am I'm cool with that too.

My ob tried to tell me I wouldn't be able to have them but the God I serve gave me my desires. Then he (my ob) told me I would have health problems because of my age and weight (43 and 247). I took care of myself and never registered high blood pressure or gestational diabetes. I actually lost 15 pounds. The delivery was flawless...of course I requested an epidural. I was out shopping the day after I had her.

Don't rush if you aren't ready. You have time, RELAX!!!

I'm so happy to hear this story. My cousin is pregnant for the first time at age 44. I'm glad things turned out so well for you. It gives me hope for her.
Thanks!

1. Do you have kids?

Yes, I have 2, ages 7 and 11. Both boys. :)

2. How old were you when you had your first?

I was 27 with my first, and a month shy of 31 with my second.

3. Did you always know you wanted kids?

NO. It was not until I met my future husband and then married him that I even thought about it. I didn't want any before that.

4. If you don't have kids-what went into the decision not to have kids?

As an aside, I don't regret it at all. I think I would have regretted it more if I had not had any. I never wanted any, but when it happened, I realized how much I was missing by not having them in my life. Now, this is just my personal experience. Some people are not cut out for having children, and that's okay, but I'm so glad I did.