Well, I wouldn't really call her my best friend now, more like friend or even close acquaintance. Some of the blame does fall on me, but I've been trying to rekindle our friendship, and she has been mostly ignoring me. I will brief you on our relationship (please, please no judgment here), and then you can tell me what you think.
Okay, we've known each other since the middle of first grade. We didn't become that close until around the middle of second grade. Part of the reason I can't let her go (easily) is because of how long we've known each other.
Her mother took her out of school around 5th grade to homeschool her. Her mother is one of those fanatical Christians (I am a conservative Christian. Don't worry, there's a reason I'm bringing this up). She thought my friend (we'll call her Alice) would be influenced too much by sinful people if left in school.
Anyway, we stayed in touch by spending the night together on weekends and during summer break/calling each other/chatting online all through school. Once I turned 18, I ran away from home, got married, and moved to CA for close to half a year. It shocked everyone, and Alice has since held a grudge against me for not informing her of my plans, but really they weren't plans. It was a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing.
I sent her emails while I was in CA, but didn't call her for fear of her being angry at me. This thickened the grudge she had, I guess.
But, then when I returned we started talking again, and hanging out. It was a bit slow, but it started to kind of go back to normal, until she got pregnant by her other b/f (someone she was seeing with her real b/f) and had an abortion. Again, conservative Christian here. I don't believe in abortions, but I was afraid to say anything for fear of making a bad experience worse, so I kept my mouth shut. I figured she was smart enough to decide for herself. It's her life, you know? Plus, she can't really blame me for something I didn't cause/do. I listened politely while she figured out what she wanted to do, but I do regret not being more opinionated. I'm just not an outspoken person (except maybe online where it's safe). I've always been shy, quiet, and overly polite in person.
Later it would come to rear it's ugly head again. Soon she got rid of both b/fs and moved to NY (technically, she got rid of her real b/f in NY, because that's where he lived). She started to ignore me again, and I was mad, because when she would talk to me, it would only be because she was depressed (she had started to do this even before I got married). She would save talking about happy things and having fun for her other friends. So, she keeps whining about her abortion, and I finally can't take it anymore, and told her if she was just going to complain then she should have just had the baby!
I truly feel rotten for saying that, and that pushed us even farther away. She said I was the worst person ever, and evil for saying that to her ect.
Eventually, I apologized for my words, and we moved on.
Later on, she turns lesbian. Again, I'm a conservative Christian. It doesn't take a genius to know what I think concerning that. She doesn't seem to mind too much that I don't agree with her lifestyle. But I don't slam her over the head with Bible verses or anything. I've told her plainly how I feel, and that's it. I don't need to repeatedly say it, because there's no point in that. Nevertheless, it's pushing us even farther apart, and now she's accumulating friends that do agree with her choice of lifestyle, and soon there's not going to be any more room for me.
Now, her mother doesn't know that she's a lesbian, and for fear that her mother might discover her 'real' facebook page, she has taken me off and put me on her 'fake' page, the one she only gets on to keep up appearances with her family about her life. I might be overreacting, but I believe this is her way of finally throwing me away for good.
I'm sorry this is so long. I know most of you will probably side with Alice (everyone except my family/church family does), but I can't just throw away my religious beliefs for her. I really don't know what I should do. I frequent her FB page like a stalker, look through her photos of her and her new 'cool' friends, and make pretty mean comments behind her back. This is turning me into a person I don't want to be, but she's the best girl friend I've ever had. I don't think I will ever feel the same away about another friend that I felt for the 'old' her, the one that I grew up with.
It's so depressing to me.