I need your opinion (re:cheating men)
 

Okay ladies and gentelmen,
I have a situation that I need an opinion on.

Husband and wife start relationship off rocky (he cheats on her in the beginning, she forgives, they move on) BUT throughout the course of the marriage there have been many other lies, and possibly "cheats". Who even knows anymore..

anyway, lets make this short and sweet. So they get into a fight, and the husband doesnt like what the wife has to say (basically, this needs to change or I am outta here!) so he leaves. Not 10 minutes after he is out the door, he has a message out to some girl on Facebook askin how she is doin and what she is up to. Now, the wife has NEVER even HEARD of this girl before.. never mentioned or broughten up, but apparently (judging from the convo, they are pretty good friends. She refers to the husband as Maffew(his name is Matthew) isnt that just cute as a button *barf*). This gal is a skinny little party girl, looks to be about 18-19 years old, and talks about how much she misses "Maffew".

Now, correct me if I am wrong, BUT! Is it not a little sucpisious that hubby is messaging another gal after he leaves his home and wife!?! He claims he "needed someone to talk to, and was bored so wanted to see how she was doing". I call BS... What do yall think?

I call BS & insecurity. I hate FB. I just recently cancelled mine as a matter of fact.

it's pretty suspicious.

More than just a little suspicious, unfortunately. If he wants to talk to someone how about his parents or siblings? Or is best friend? Or how about his WIFE?

Some girl he's never mentioned before that calls him by a pet name on Facebook? Totally inappropriate for a married man.

If they both want the marriage to actually work? Marriage counseling now. It's not a dirty word, and may show them what they need to do, because right now she's unhappy and doesn't trust him, and he's unhappy and is doing suspicious things...maybe he doesn't even know he's being suspicious, but it needs to be talked about.

(Side note: Facebook is just an awful void that sucks the will to live out of life itself.)

I also call BS. Right after a storm-out-of-the-house fight? No way, pshaw. Thats a red flag.

Def sounds suspicious, but then again once someone cheats.. a lot of things 'they' do seem suspicious, because the trust is broken :(

Hmm, he calls a 20-year-old party girl who calls him by a baby name (and misses him) when he needs someone to talk to about the fight he just had with his wife. Total BS.

Yup, BS. With loud, blaring red alert sirens in the background and an automated voice screaming EJECT! EJECT! Wife should get out of that relationship fast.

From personal experience...lose the jerk! Ultimatums like that are not from a place of love and usually are a set up to make the other person feel like the bad guy. Walk, or run, away, as cleanly and quickly as possible so as to diminish being soiled by that man's excrement!

I'll be the first desenter.

I have no clue if he's cheated or not. He almost definitely has flirted with this girl before, but that's different than actually cheating. Could go either way. The fact that this is going on in public on FB suggested to me that he might just be trying to give you a dig, rather than trying to score.

What is telling is you're suspicious. You know him better than any of us. That could mean that you're right to jump to conclusions. Or it could just mean that you don't trust him and therefore you go straight to worse case scenario. Either way, you guys have issues to work out.

Does it really matter? Either she trusts him or she doesn't. He cheated in the beginning of the relationship (yeah, good luck with that) - either he has made a good faith effort to be faithful and make her trust him or he hasn't. Either she is going to decide to take him at his word, or she hasn't.

If he won't change or she won't trust him, facebook is the least of their worries.

The real question is why continue to stay if the person has cheated from the beginning? No trust = no marriage = move on!

Total BS. He cheated in the beginning, once a cheater always a cheater. Get out of this situation and save your sanity.

She should have left a long time ago.

The wife is well rid of a guy who's sexually attracted to a younger girl who writes messages that actually reproduce the sound of a baby lisp.

The wife is entitled to end this relationship & find herself a responsible, mature adult male who understands that faithfulness is integral to a trusting, lasting marriage. Because the wife deserves that. Any woman does.