Regarding real life comments...

Last week at the gym while I was doing some ab exercises, I overheard two thin, young (~20 year old) girls and a guy talking about a woman who was on the treadmill. Their back and forth comments to each other went something like, "I see her on the treadmill everytime I'm here, and all she's ever doing is walking. If she wants to lose weight, she needs to run. When I was trying to lose weight, I ran for 30 minutes every day. She's not going to make any progress just walking." And then the other girl "I know. All these women I see in my zumba class have the same body shape, and they look the same every week. They're not going to lose weight by going to zumba three times each week." and then "You have to eat healthy too. You're not going to lose weight without eating healthy." And so forth.

They were just being gossipy, nasty little girls, but it took a lot of restraint for me to keep my mouth shut. First, they were standing around and occasionally lifting their 5 lb hand weights, and it was clear that their gym time was much more about socializing that night than about actual exercise. Second, they were literally standing right next to the machine that I was on, and it was quite obvious that I, an obese woman, could hear everything they were saying... and I wouldn't be surprised if that was their intent. I too spend several days each week "just walking" on the treadmill - just like the woman they were talking about - and at the same time of day. All I could think was... what do these girls know of that woman on the treadmill, or of those women in the zumba class? What do these girls know of their diet, and how hard some of them may be working to lose weight? What do they know of me? I've lost nearly 50 lbs, and I'm damn proud of myself. I've done it by working very hard and very consistently every.single.day., and my "just walking" on the treadmill and my lifting 2x/week - which is much more intense and focused than the work they were doing that night - has helped a LOT. Those girls see us 'fat women' in the gym every night... and their reaction is criticism??

But I didn't say anything, because it simply wasn't worth it. There is nothing I could say that would give them the perspective I have on the effort and committment it takes to lose a serious amount of weight. I hope they gain that perspective some day, but for their sake I hope it doesn't come from having to lose that kind of weight themselves.


In regards to "pretty" - I'm not pretty, I've never been pretty, and I won't be pretty even when I'm a normal weight (and I WILL be a normal weight, just give me another 8 months :D). That's not putting myself down; it's just a fact. And most days I'm ok with that, as I know I'm a good person, and that's what counts among those I love. :)

Real Life comments - Some of these comments (such as the ones about the walking and zumba and saying something about a "fat girl" in the grocery store) are not the same thing as thinking someone is pretty or not. I try really hard not to say anything to these people because I know it won't usually do any good anyway, but sometimes I just can't take it and I end up going off on someone. It doesn't anger me for my own sake because I am strong enough to hear their crap and keep on going and still love myself because I know I deserve my healthy groceries, my workout, love, and every other good thing life has no matter what my weight is. It makes me mad because not everyone they say these things to or who overhears their nasty little gossip is strong enough. It hurts me for those women, girls, men, and boys, especially the young ones because they are the most likely to not be strong enough. Hearing that mess can cause some serious issues for some people and can go so far as to be the final push that sends someone toward suicide. Even if it doesn't get that bad it can make them give up on trying to lose weight and get healthy. So, yes, I have gone off on people in public. I don't think it does any good most times, but there are times when I just can't help myself. I have a very thin friend who once heard someone talking that way to a bigger girl and she just walked up, slapped her, and walked away. I do think that was going too far, but I can understand the desire.

As for the comments about walking and zumba: these girls have no idea, walking is the #1 exercise for losing weight and keeping it off and there are tons of people the world over who are losing weight and inches doing nothing but zumba. So they aren't just nasty and mean spirited, they aren't very well educated about these things either.

You're such strong women! I hope to be as strong someday.
chickadee32 It's odd to me how even if they weren't talking about you, it seems pretty inconsiderate. I hope they gain perspective too and I agree that I hope it's not from having to lose the same kind of weight (I wouldn't wish that on someone). Congrats on your weight loss so far! You're doing amazing and it's good to have reinforcement that it's not what other people think of our weight loss journey, it's how we feel about it.

FitGirlyGirl I've always been too chicken to stand up for myself. I do have to say though your friend went too far (because I'd be too afraid of an assault charge for even a slap) it did make me smile (hopefully that doesn't make me a bad person). It's wonderful to see people who stand up for others. Speaking of not being well educated, it seems like there's a lot more conversations regarding anorexia/bulimia than on understanding binge eating and all the problems associated with being heavy and losing weight. The common perception is anyone big must be watching tv and eating burgers and ice cream all day. I wish there would be more done to educate people so they would be more understanding rather than just jumping to conclusions.

I was just thinking about something. This guy I'm seeing he's 5'6 210 pounds isn't a healthy weight, he's clearly over weight (cute as a button though) but has a issue with fat people. Makes comments about fat people and fat girls and this and that and even says his fat cat needs to lose some weight. OH and if I call him a fatty or a pudge cake he gets pissed! Yet he can tell me I'm fat...It's interesting the insecurity people have upon themselves so they try and bring everyone else down around them, or be judgmental on everyone else just so they can feel better about themselves. As for the girl, meh I'd ignore it she's probably needs to come bully on the internet so she can feel better about herself because she's more than likely a push over outside the computer.

PopRox83 the internet seems to bring out the best and worst of people it seems huh? That's why I love this site though because everyone's so supportive :)

MiZTaCCen wow..your guy sounds like he needs to look in the mirror and take a humble pill lol (just teasing hun) It's weird, I've noticed a lot of guys who are bigger put off an attitude like they think they're at a perfect weight. It's driven me nuts with some of my boyfriends they would make comments about fat girls then when I get insecure and depressed thinking "if they're gross then ****...I must be hideously disgusting" they go "but you aren't fat!" even if the girl is obviously smaller than me D: I guess it can be chalked up to people are weird...and probably all my boyfriends just wanted to get laid so they didn't want to tick me off lol

Oh he knows he's over weight but doesn't want to do anything about it. He'd rather criticize other people then look at himself to become a less selfish better person. Like he'll say how pepsi is so bad for me and I shouldn't drink pop, yet he smokes and is over weight so 1 can of pepsi every so often isn't going to kill me but like half a pack a smokes a day is gonna kill him lol.

lol it's kind of humorous though about the pop being so bad. "oh nooooes! the one can of pepsi once in a while is soooo horrible! so much deadlier than half a pack a day!" :dizzy: I fully understand how addictive cigs are (I smoke) so I'm a bit hypocritical not wanting diet sodas because of their chemicals. At least your guy can give you some comic relief :D

That's his whole issue with the pop is because of the chemicals. He used to deliver the ingredients and the stuff that went in was hazardous you couldn't touch it, drink it whatever but when it came out the pop was normal and alright to drink. So I see his point but I want my pop when I crave it damnit! haha :carrot: