It depends on the people and their self esteem. The mismatch in education isn't really it at the root -- it is the self esteem.
I finished my degree but Dh did not, and it isn't a problem. My mom and dad however... it was a problem but they were the same -- neither finished their degrees.
But my mom made more than my dad. It bugged him and it came out in many ways. He felt "less" somehow no matter how many times she told him she did not feel that way.
I think that person is mistaking.... In my country more women than men are getting a university degree.... But then again we have a 50 % divorce rate.....
My husband and I have been on both sides of this fence. I've been more educated than him but currently he's caught up to me and is about to pass me.
Did it make a difference either way? Not in the least. I guess it's that we see ourselves more as a "unit" - when one advances it betters the entire family and that's what's most important.
So ultimately, I think the physician you work with is correct, but for the wrong reason: Those who have a problem with their spouse advancing at a different pace are just insecure and/or selfish which will cause problems in their marriage no matter what. If it's not education it's that the wife did something else better. It's a no-win situation.
I haven't read through the thread, but I don't think it makes a difference as long as one person in the relationship does not "rub it in" to the other.
I have my M.A. and my husband and I have been happily married for 21 years.
It was only after he was laid off in 2009 that he went to college and earned his Associate's degree. Before 2009 he only had his G.E.D. and I had a Master's degree and we got along fine. He was actually making more money than me. My Aunt is married to a psychologist and for fun he gave everyone I.Q. tests in the family. My husband and I scored idental on our tests even though the questions missed were different.
If two people are compatible and in love and each person is aware of his or her own self worth, then no amount of diplomas will cause friction in the relationship.
I agree with what XLMuffnTop said, in that if there is any truth in the idea, it's probably more to do with other issues, rather than what (superficially) appears to be the problem.
To use the example given in the thread, if a relationship fails because a woman is better educated than a man, it's not the level of education that causes the problem in the relationship, it's the response to it - insecurity, feelings of inferiority, jealousy, and so on. To me, that's clearly why loads of people in this thread are replying going "well, there are differing levels of education in my relationship, but I don't have this problem" - because these people also don't have the issues which actually cause the problem (e.g., insecurity, jealousy, etc.). Of course, it's not something that only men would be prone to either, it's just as likely to be a problem for women too. In addition, I don't think there even needs to be a real discrepancy between the partners either - something imagined or subjectively perceived could cause equal problems (e.g., if someone just feels like their partner is a "better person" than they are).
My husband is very smart, but doesn't even have his GED. I am about to get my Masters. The only issue it has caused is that he is miserable in his job, but can't really leave because he won't be able to make equal or more money anywhere else because he hasn't gotten his GED. Hopefully he will do so soon, but not because I have any shame or problem with his education level, only because I would like him to have more opportunities available to him. There have been quite a few opportunities that would have been perfect for him that he hasn't been able to follow up on because he doesn't have his GED.
When I was going for my master's degree, my aunt told my mother that I was making my self unmarriageable (of course she considered her own daughter an "old-maid" at 23).
I have my master's and my husband didn't finish college. I'm also 4 years older than he is. I wasn't sure we'd have a lot in common when we met (he answered a personal ad I placed), but we hit if off so strongly that from the day we met, we spent no more than 2 days apart until after well after we were married. Our first date lasted 12 hours. We've been married over 8 years, and we're still going strong.
I'd be lying if I said it made no difference, but it made the most difference when we were dating and newly married. My husband had never dated anyone who was older, made more money, or had more education than he did - and I was all three. He was constantly needing reassurance that I needed him. I told him over and over, I was with him because I wanted to be, not because I needed to be. When he went on disability a year after I did (my disability was unexpected, his condition is degenerative and he's known since he was 16 that he'd eventually be on disability. Doctor's predicted by age 30, he made it to 35), he went through a "now I'm useless to everybody" phase.
Nothing is a doomsday device in a relationship, it all boils down to what each is willing to accept and work with and around, which every couple has to work out for themselves. Common goals and values are more important than the specifics, and it's why the "courtship" phase should be as much about communication as possible. The time to find out your partner's goals, values and ambitions is not after the wedding (though some of it still will be. I learned almost as much about my husband after we married as before, but not for lack of trying. Most of what we learned after we married, we didn't know about ourselves enough to share).
They had a great marriage up until my dad died, about 14 years total of marriage. My dad did not finish high school - he dropped out and got a GED and joined the Army. My mom has a bachelor's degree in architecture.
It is a little different situation though - he had an extremely successful two-decade career as an army pilot and retired before he met my mom - they were married when he was 42 and she was 30. So he was quite successful, even if he wasn't formally educated.
There are so many more things that go into a successful relationship. This might make a difference for some people - especially people who value a specific type of success - but not so much for me. I like someone with ambition and dedication, but it doesn't have to be towards a piece of paper - they just have to have *some* kind of passion and drive to be attractive to me.
I believe it's how the two people in the relationship behave towards each other. If they respect and support each other, the difference in education level shouldn't matter. It only becomes an issue if one or both of them make it an issue. My fiance is a high school graduate while I have a BA. I think he's so much smarter than me, though, but we share the same values.
Bull**** unless the man is an overly traditional idiot imo.
My mum has an MA and my dad has a BA (though when they met they both had the same level of education). They both respect each other's great achievements
I posed this question to my hubby, for a man's point of view, and he thought it had more to do with the amount of money earned instead of education. 'Usually' a highly educated person makes more money than one of lesser education, but that's not always the case. He brought up the scenario of a stay at home mom who happens to have a degree but does not work, married to backhoe operator, who makes good money. Even though he is less educated, he makes a good living, takes care of his family, etc....
So, maybe it does boil down to money. Money issues are a big reason from conflict in marriage and a number one reason for divorce.
I think it really just depends on the people in the relationship. Personally, I have my PhD and my husband has a B.S.; My best friend has a Master's and her husband has some community college. I can't say for sure for them, but it doesn't seem to be an issue, and I KNOW it's not an issue between my me and my husband.
But we've never had the most traditional views regarding the husband's/wife's role in a marriage. He would love to be a stay-at-home dad if we could afford for him to quit his job (which pays more than my job, but he would certainly encourage me to take a higher paying job if one were offered to me).
But I do think people with more traditional views on marriage would have a bigger problem with it. And I also think of some guys I dated before DH, and I just don't think it would have worked with them. I can't say it's the education necessarily, but I felt like I was always apologizing for my education. I still don't brag about it and blush if someone calls me Dr., but I also don't think it's healthy to go through life feeling ashamed of your accomplishments.
Perhaps that physician had a bad experience, and it's easy to say it's because of a disparity in education, but I doubt that's the only factor that was involved.
I have more education than my husband. He makes twice what I do. (Married 12 years) My sis is working on her PhD. Her hubby never finished college and just got a huge promotion. (Married 20 years)
I think that most men (at least in my age group) want to be the ones making more money. If that is true, they don't feel as competitive about the degrees. JMHO
I did hear something on NPR, I think All Things Cheesy Poof, that women, especially minority women, are passing up men in education AND in entering professional life (I remember when doctors were always a HE). Sadly, for the most part, we still make 80 cents to each dollar they do.
I don't think this is true, at least it is not for me.
We have a huge educational difference.
My husband has a community college 1 year diploma and is a journeyman tradesman, while I spent 9 years in University getting my BSc and DDS degrees.
My husband is proud that I am a Dr
.....and to top it all off, he now stays home with our newborn and I work.
Maybe it depends on the man and how he feels, but for us it works!!!
My wife has a Masters and has passed the National Board Certification for the subject she teaches, also has a few supplementals. She is also a certified yoga instructor and is always advancing her education in that field.
I completed 2 weeks of JUCO night classes
She is way smarter than me...but I married her
My son and daughter both graduated Magna Cum Laude with Honors...have Masters...one teaches and one is a scientist....
my wife is not their mom but I am their father
I think I'm pretty smart too!
I could see where that OP question could be an issue in some people's lives but it certainly isn't in my marriage...
after all...my wife needs me ....she can't finish drywall and she always needs some room to paint in the summer for her sanity
married her 
