Quote:
Originally Posted by BigBlueStar
Kaplods - you posted that experiment here in the forum didn't you? I remember someone doing that when I poked around here a few years ago - it was fascinating!
I don't think so, but my inspiration for my own experiments WAS based on reading about someone else's - probably on this site, so it may have been the same post that you read. I've seen the topic come up several times here.
The common wisdom is that weighing more than once a week is "frustrating" because you won't see a loss every day. I never really questioned that wisdom before my experiments. I WAS frustrated when I weighed frequently and didn't see steady impressive losses, but I was only frustrated because I had learned that frustration was the appropriate response to weighing daily.
Essentially I was frustrated, because I was told to be. Frustration is the result of unmet expectations. When you have no preset expectations, you cannot be frustrated. You can choose to be ok with weight fluctuations.
I think the assumption that intense frustration is unavoidable, and setting ourselves up for more and more frustration has become such an intrenched weight loss "tradition" that failure is built into the system. We experience more and more frustration (because our expectations vastly exceed our results) until we're burnt out on it. We feel so much more failure than success until quitting seems like the most sensible thing to do.
A little bit of frustration can be motivating, but an overdose of frustration squashes motivation. Mild frustration thoughts like "I'm not doing well enough, I want to do so much better," can inspire more effort, but severe frustration "I will never succeed, I can't do this..." those are the beginning of the end. And we assume that the latter is inevitable, and it's not. You can learn to avoid severe frustration, by avoiding unrealistic expectations, and the only way to make realistic expectations is to experiment without judgement.
"What can I expect fro myself?" It's a question I still haven't answered fully, but for me I must take specific weight loss off my expectations. I can't say "x number of pounds per week/month," because if I fall short, even by a tenth of a pound I feel like a failure rather than a success.
My TOPS group (taking off pounds sensibly) does a pledge contest each month. To participate, you have to pledge at least 4 lbs most months, and 3 lbs in February (you can pledge more). If at the end of the month, you haven't met your pledge, you pay a quarter. The quarters are divided by everyone who did meet their pledge.
We all write our pledges on the same card, so unless you're first, you can't help but see what other people pledge. Some people make huge pledges (especially newbies to the club), and I can't help but wonder if the person who pledges 20 lbs, is upset if they "only" lose 16. I know in the past, I would have. I would obsess over the 4 lbs I didn't lose, forgetting the 16 lbs I did).
It's still hard for me to pledge 3 or 4 lbs though. Even though I would be happy with that loss, putting it in writing makes me feel like I'm selling myself short, or doing something wrong by not aiming for huge weekly losses (it's what 40 years of dieting American-style has done to my brain. I can't help but feel pulled into the patterns I've learned - even as I know they're patterns that don't work for me).
I still participate in the monthly pledges, but I have to give myself a little peptalk about the purpose. Reminding myself it's a game and a challenge, not a "test" of my worthiness or value or effort.