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Old 11-19-2010, 02:12 PM   #16  
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I know this statement runs the risk of turning this thread into a divisive debate, and I know partisan discussions aren't allowed on this board, but I just have to say: If this is heterosexual couples that think marriage is obsolete, while same-sex couples clamor for marriage equality, then aren't GLBTs SAVING marriage rather than destroying it?
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Old 11-19-2010, 02:29 PM   #17  
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i think you have a point ANOther. Also I think there's just too many personal opinions of what marriage means. maybe times are changing and marriage needs to evolve with it.
there are prenups and separate bank accounts and two people working outside the home and things just aren't they way they used to be. i puts a stress on a couple. it's really easy to just get a divorce. and i must say there are times when i have in the back of my mind - well this isn't working out, if things get any worse i can always get a divorce. it's a bad attitude and i think a lot of people think that way.
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Old 11-19-2010, 02:39 PM   #18  
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and i must say there are times when i have in the back of my mind - well this isn't working out, if things get any worse i can always get a divorce. it's a bad attitude and i think a lot of people think that way.
Personally, I don't think it is a bad attitude. People change, grown and sometimes couples don't grow together. A couple should try to work some things out but sometimes it just doesn't work.

My husband was married before and they tried to work things out but the last few years were quite painful. Of course if he hadn't gotten divorced, then obviously we wouldn't be together today. It is a bit bitter sweet in that I was his friend during his divorce and knew he was in pain and wish he hadn't had to go through that. If he hadn't then, our friendship would've never grown into a relationship later on.

I already mentioned my mom who had a difficult first marriage but her second marriage has lasted almost twice as long as her first marriage.
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Old 11-19-2010, 03:41 PM   #19  
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There's another thing I don't get, and please excuse my ignorance on the topic - it is not meant to offend.

If you are supposed to sperate religion and state, and marriage is recognized by the state (though yes it is recognized by church as well). . . . how can the argument be used that 'it says so in the Bible' to not allow same sex marriage? It doesnt make sense in my head, 2 consenting adults want to marry - who is anyone to say they can't. Don't like it, don't marry some one of the same sex.

LizzieP - I don't think its a bad atitude, I was refering more to the people I personally know who just through their hands up and say Its too much, I'm out - with out exploring options to work through what ever issue there is. Sometimes, there are just things that are deal breakers, and sometimes despite the best efforts, things dont work out. It happens.
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Old 11-19-2010, 05:07 PM   #20  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ANOther View Post
I know this statement runs the risk of turning this thread into a divisive debate, and I know partisan discussions aren't allowed on this board, but I just have to say: If this is heterosexual couples that think marriage is obsolete, while same-sex couples clamor for marriage equality, then aren't GLBTs SAVING marriage rather than destroying it?
I am a strong proponent for gay marriage so I find the initial post kind of

Perhaps if more conservative male christians thought marriage was so all-fired important EVERYBODY should have it instead of perpetuating a culture where nice, moral people must be satisfied with living together when they would rather be married, more people would find marriage important?

Last edited by Glory87; 11-19-2010 at 05:08 PM.
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Old 11-19-2010, 05:11 PM   #21  
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I really only married my husband because it was important to him and because there are legal benefits to being married. I didn't need it to know I was going to spend my life with him, and if we were the type to cut our losses and run at the first hint of trouble, I don't think being married would keep us together. If something happened to my husband, I doubt I'd marry again, especially while so many people are denied the right to marry in the US.
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Old 11-19-2010, 05:17 PM   #22  
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I think the shift has been more in whether one considers marriage to be a necessary precondition for a happy, healthy, fulfilling life. Most people still consider marriage an option - they just don't view it as the only viable path to happiness and fulfillment.

For me, personally, marriage is VERY important, as I said before. I am acutely aware of all of the benefits that getting married brings, particularly at the Federal level (mostly because I don't have those Federal benefits) and I really don't see how one can make an argument that people "want all of the perks without the responsibility". Marriage as a legal contract awards a LOT of perks (to name a few, social security benefits, insurance benefits, citizenship benefits, and benefits in legal protection as it relates to children and property).

I do believe people are starting to see marriage more as a legal contract that affords certain rights and responsibilities, and are making a decision to marry/not to marry based on whether those rights and responsibilities are right for them at the particular life stage they are in. The legal marriage contract is no longer being used as a primary definition of a "family", so people are looking at more practical considerations before deciding to undertake that legal step.
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Old 11-19-2010, 06:11 PM   #23  
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Originally Posted by Glory87 View Post
I am a strong proponent for gay marriage so I find the initial post kind of

Perhaps if more conservative male christians thought marriage was so all-fired important EVERYBODY should have it instead of perpetuating a culture where nice, moral people must be satisfied with living together when they would rather be married, more people would find marriage important?
Agreed
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Old 11-19-2010, 06:15 PM   #24  
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I really don't see how one can make an argument that people "want all of the perks without the responsibility".
Not to hijack the thread, but seriously? My jaw actually dropped reading that . . . . I understand people are entitled to their own opinions and may not agree with mine, but come on . . . . how can some one believe that to be true?

it's just plain and simple to me. 2 consenting adults want to marry . . . that's up to them and no one else. If you don't like the idea of same sex marriage, well don't marry some one of the same sex.

Ill step off my dumbfounded soapbox now.
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Old 11-19-2010, 06:53 PM   #25  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Glory87 View Post
I am a strong proponent for gay marriage so I find the initial post kind of

Perhaps if more conservative male christians thought marriage was so all-fired important EVERYBODY should have it instead of perpetuating a culture where nice, moral people must be satisfied with living together when they would rather be married, more people would find marriage important?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suzanne 3FC View Post
Agreed
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coondocks View Post
Not to hijack the thread, but seriously? My jaw actually dropped reading that . . . . I understand people are entitled to their own opinions and may not agree with mine, but come on . . . . how can some one believe that to be true?

it's just plain and simple to me. 2 consenting adults want to marry . . . that's up to them and no one else. If you don't like the idea of same sex marriage, well don't marry some one of the same sex.

Ill step off my dumbfounded soapbox now.
WOW!!?

With all due respect...I think you ladies best go back and read my post...I never mentioned ONE WORD about same sex marriage....

I think I deserve an apology!

PS ~ My comment about perks w/o responsibility was about us as a society running from commitments to anything....

and there is no way THAT statement could be considered a same sex marriage remark either.....

Last edited by EZMONEY; 11-19-2010 at 06:54 PM. Reason: do to due
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Old 11-19-2010, 07:09 PM   #26  
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This chickie is seeing a lot of feathers get ruffled in this thread.

Gary, you may not have mentioned same-sex marriage, but it was raised in the first sentence of the article you linked to and was, therefore, a legitimate part of the conversation.

I think it's time to close this thread as it has gotten political and is hitting a lot of nerves.
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