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-   -   Emotions and the word "obese" (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/general-chatter/217615-emotions-word-obese.html)

t0rn 11-18-2010 01:37 AM

As far as I know, aren't physicals required every year for kids to go to school? Well, I had one every year, anyway. I was an overweight kid, and that never changed. Doctors ran tests on me, had my mom document all my food intake and physical activity. I ate the least out of the neighborhood kids and was the most active. Doctors told my mom that i just had "fatty genes". Having a letter sent to my parents would not have made a difference.

Shouldn't kids be getting their physicals every year? Wouldn't a doctor inform their parent that their child is overweight? If you're going to say that having an obese child is child abuse, well.. not taking them for checkups should be considered child abuse, too.

It's for the doctor to talk to a parent about their child's weight, not a school.

Another thing, schools really need to start thinking about how they're doing things. My sisters' old elementary school sells pies and cake EVERY year. They sell BOXES full of candy for fund raisers! Their middle school sells all kinds of junk during lunch, and they have a school store where they sell junk, too. Not to mention that they have tons of pizza, soda and JUNK at school dances. They were selling CANDY BARS outside of their gym while their play was going last year. Not to mention how many schools have all kinds of bake sales throughout the year. It's really ridiculous.

nelie 11-18-2010 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by t0rn (Post 3573642)

Shouldn't kids be getting their physicals every year? Wouldn't a doctor inform their parent that their child is overweight? If you're going to say that having an obese child is child abuse, well.. not taking them for checkups should be considered child abuse, too.

Not everyone is fortunate enough to have medical care. I was lucky enough to have medical care growing up although my mom worked 2 full time jobs so she had to juggle her schedule to take me to the doctor. She was also lucky enough that one of her jobs offered sick time/time off. Some people don't have that luxury so if they take their kids to the doctor, they would have to pay out of pocket and miss money from work. That is a lot for a struggling family.

Eliana 11-18-2010 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junebug41 (Post 3573564)
Well, I'm 28 and consider myself still very much a child in certain circumstances :lol:

My memory isn't foggy. My parents were total health nuts. No soda, no garbage, family dinners, bike riding, hiking, basketball team, tennis lessons... I should NOT have had a weight problem as a child. But I did. I had a problem with food. I snuck it. I was predispositioned to it. It's just the way it was.

Really, I promise, my parents were proactive in providing me with a healthy lifestyle. Compared to some of the garbage my friends ate all the time? I practically lived in a farmer's market. So yeah, assuming that my parents were clueless is a little out there to me.

I'll tell you one thing, though. I fully believe that it begins and ends at home because for as overweight as I was, I learned healthy habits early on. I love my vegetables. I enjoy being active, and did at my highest weight. My parents instilled a foundation so that when I was ready, I pretty much knew what to do. If the schools want to tackle building those foundations I'm all for it, but first they have to stop contributing to the problem before they start signing those letters.

Oh wow, thank you for this!! It's so nice hearing someone who does NOT blame their parents! I feel like you just described my family. Maybe it's ok for me to relax, keep teaching my son by words and action, and when he's ready...he'll have the tools.

caryesings 11-18-2010 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fattymcfatty (Post 3573245)
This makes me think of the "self-fulfilling prophecy". How many kids are getting this label and then believe that they are destined to be fat, etc.?

There is a big difference between a child and adult. I had several male cousins growing up who were short little chunkers in middle school and by high school over 6 feet tall and thin. Kids have growth spurts, etc.

I think this note makes the point of why the schools SHOULD be sending these letters. I think some parents are counting on the "growth spurt" taking care of the problem, not realizing that there child's obesity is a health issue, not a bit of "baby fat" to be outgrown.

caryesings 11-18-2010 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nelie (Post 3573813)
Not everyone is fortunate enough to have medical care. I was lucky enough to have medical care growing up although my mom worked 2 full time jobs so she had to juggle her schedule to take me to the doctor. She was also lucky enough that one of her jobs offered sick time/time off. Some people don't have that luxury so if they take their kids to the doctor, they would have to pay out of pocket and miss money from work. That is a lot for a struggling family.

We had health insurance growing up but my folks were of the category that only go to the doctor is something is seriously wrong. I know I never went in to doctor for general physical during my school years.

nelie 11-18-2010 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by caryesings (Post 3573852)
We had health insurance growing up but my folks were of the category that only go to the doctor is something is seriously wrong. I know I never went in to doctor for general physical during my school years.

I went and every year I'd be shown that chart, where they show you where you are compared to the normal child your age. I was always obese, going to doctors and nutritionists never changed that. I think my mom did the absolute best she could. If someone had accused her of child abuse, I think that would've been completely wrong.

pipernoswiper 11-18-2010 09:20 AM

may be a repeat question, but did those letters have any information regarding diet and exercise as well? anything regarding the mental health aspect of over eating, because like with many addicts there is usually a dual diagnosis with eating disorders, ie. bipolar, borderline personality disorder, ocd, depression etc, etc, etc .....dangerous territory if you ask me. you cannot send a letter like that home to the parents, and automatically "expect" them to do the right thing. you cannot expect the parents to know what proper nutrition even is...not in this society anyways. you cannot "expect" the parent to automatically understand that a true eating disorder is almost always accompanied by an additional underlying mental problem.

and just because a parent is now "aware" of their child,s "condition" doesnt mean they will even come close to an appropriate course of action. my mother had me on a diet for as long as can remember....doctor said i was fat. all that did was screw me up. she had no clue how to feed me a healthy meal. so she put me on every diet from cabbage soup to green tea. oh not mention i was hypnotized as well. so glad all those worked out for me.

i am just saying, if the school is going to issue these letters, they should be accompanied by an appropriate course of action. AND like i said, in our district, the schools should practice what they preach! get the crap and junk food out of the cafeterias, remove pop machines and vending machines!

what's for lunch today, oh yummy my favorite, TACO IN A BAG! now that is healthy!

nelie 11-18-2010 09:45 AM

piper - my mom works for an elementary school so she knows about all the crap that the kids eat and the fact that even though they put out fresh veggies for the kids to eat, they either don't eat them or eat them drowned in salad dressing.

Last year, my husband and I participated at an event that was held at a high school when the school was closed. We were in the cafeteria and there were tons of signs on the wall about healthy eating, etc. If you looked up at the menu, it was pizza, french fries, hamburgers, etc. Lots of fatty, high calorie foods basically. Nothing remotely close to healthy.

glynne 11-18-2010 10:04 AM

An interesting topic. I read it with mixed emotions. Not sure what the answer is ~ I feel like it is not a "one size fits all" kind of answer though. There are so many things affecting each person's situation.

annie175 11-18-2010 10:14 AM

It is also about the good/bad eating habits we teach our children prior to entering school. Some parents seem to "overlook" the imperfections (fat) or their own "perfect" children or the parents too are (fat) and don't care enough to not let that happen to their children. I think it is a splendid idea to inform the parent's and nip the eating habits, (fat) in the bud.

bargoo 11-18-2010 10:18 AM

A touchy subject for sure. I notice many times when I see obese children I see obese parents.

gvntofly 11-18-2010 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuilterInVA (Post 3572778)
I can't understand why parents feed their children junk until they are classified as obese and then are surprised when the school lets them know the child is headed toward life long health problems and probably a shorter life span than the parents. That's right. This is the first generation that will have a shorter lifespan than we do. We've feed them to death.

I think the school should inform the parents and if they don't take steps to correct the situation, they should be considered child abusers.

I wouldn't go as far as child abuse but I do see it as neglect of a dependent and this is why:

I have a neighbor who has a very overweight 6 1/2 year old boy. Her two oldest girls are also overweight but the boy is the worst of the three.

This poor child's stomach hangs over his pants and has lots of cellulite, at 6 1/2.

They eat nothing but frozen processed foods in their house, mostly frozen pizzas. They installed another oven in their garage for when they make frozen pizzas because they make 6 at a time! For a family of 5!

The mom flat out told me if it can't be unwrapped and put right into the oven or microwave she won't cook it! She is a stay at home mom! So this is just laziness!

Eating healthy is not more expensive than eating junk. Most fruits and veggies are 2.99lb or less and most cuts of meat are 2.99lb or more! I feed my family of 4 very healthy on about $80 a week. I can make some pretty awesome dinners for the amount of money that my neighbor spends on frozen pizzas each night.

Pint Sized Terror 11-18-2010 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nelie (Post 3573965)
Last year, my husband and I participated at an event that was held at a high school when the school was closed. We were in the cafeteria and there were tons of signs on the wall about healthy eating, etc. If you looked up at the menu, it was pizza, french fries, hamburgers, etc. Lots of fatty, high calorie foods basically. Nothing remotely close to healthy.

THIS!!!! My son's menu is sent home every month, and they have information about staying active, the food pyramid, even healthy RECIPES, yet the menu was all fried, breaded food, pizza, chicken "chunks", fried fish fillet... you get the idea.
I would assume, though probably wrongly, that if a school was proactive enough to send home flyers about obese children they would have a healthy menu. Otherwise, I'd be breathing fire too.

Edit:

Quote:

The mom flat out told me if it can't be unwrapped and put right into the oven or microwave she won't cook it! She is a stay at home mom! So this is just laziness!
That is just AWFUL. I felt bad because I let my kids have a Kashi frozen pizza for dinner the other day when we were super rushed. Holy cow, I couldn't imagine them eating microwaved or frozen meals every single day. (which is how I grew up...) That is totally neglectful. :(

nelie 11-18-2010 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gvntofly (Post 3574122)
I wouldn't go as far as child abuse but I do see it as neglect of a dependent and this is why:

I have a neighbor who has a very overweight 6 1/2 year old boy. Her two oldest girls are also overweight but the boy is the worst of the three.

This poor child's stomach hangs over his pants and has lots of cellulite, at 6 1/2.

They eat nothing but frozen processed foods in their house, mostly frozen pizzas. They installed another oven in their garage for when they make frozen pizzas because they make 6 at a time! For a family of 5!

The mom flat out told me if it can't be unwrapped and put right into the oven or microwave she won't cook it! She is a stay at home mom! So this is just laziness!

Eating healthy is not more expensive than eating junk. Most fruits and veggies are 2.99lb or less and most cuts of meat are 2.99lb or more! I feed my family of 4 very healthy on about $80 a week. I can make some pretty awesome dinners for the amount of money that my neighbor spends on frozen pizzas each night.

How would you feel if the kids ate the same things but were skinny? How about obese kids that eat healthy?

Despite working two jobs for a good part of my childhood, my mom would often ensure I had healthy meals. Nothing we ate came from a box. I never had hamburger helper or any convenience type foods and we never had candy/sweets in the house.

My mom also taught me how to cook and when I was 13 or 14, I started cooking all the family meals which generally consisted of a meat, a grain and a veggie or two.

sacha 11-18-2010 01:40 PM

As a 90lb skinny teen girl, I ate on a daily basis:

Breakfast-nothing
Lunch- 1 bottle coke, 1 bag salt + vinegar chips (1 serving portions)
Snack- Nothing
Dinner- a handful of white pasta (no sauce) with some parmesan shaker

No fruit... no veggies.. and usually no meat. Nothing but ice cream, coke, and hamburger in the fridge.

And I was slim. In fact, I bet most (if not all) "fat chicks" would have loved to look like that, healthy or not. If they REALLY had the choice.

Were my parents abusive? No... but I was just as unhealthy as the "fat chicks" (only I was weaker!).

So the opposite of nelie- yet we are both here on 3FC in the end.


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