I just thought I would reach out to all of you great ladies (and gents) on this forum because you all help me to keep things and perspective and steer me back to reality when I get a little freaked out.
So, I have been trying my best and my hardest to improve on a professional level. It is very obvious that those who have the ability to allow me to go higher just don't respect me. They like my work, but sort of like they don't want me to be able to play in their league, ya know? I have heard of this happening to others in the company, so I am extremely worried to say the least. I am relatively youthful in the co, and don't want to be relegated to not being considered as ever being better than I am.
So, I have been looking around within the co and trying to see if other people are aware of my talents, etc. I had my hopes up about a certain area, and today, it seems like they may have not chosen me. I am a bit sad about that, as I felt I was a super good match for it, and also, because while I know I am very fortunate to have what I do have, it is also sad knowing that you may never get any type of adult respect, and that you can't even speak your voice because of how your superior my respond.
So, I am just a bit sad and hormonal now and trying not to cry. I just feel so overwhelmed at times by it all. My house is a mess because I have been super exhausted when I come home and on top of it, I am dealing with other issues that are kind of in the back of my head. Plus, finances are not good so that is always a stressor, and I am working as much as I can part-time as well to try and just stay afloat. All of that combined with having an environment where I really feel as if no one cares about me is not a good thing. Sigh.
I just felt like I needed to write this out so I can relax, not cry, and get on with the day. I thank all of your for listening to me.