I just need to get this off my chest. It's not even remotely weight loss related, but I just need to get this out...and maybe someone else can relate? Am I the only one who sometimes feels like she just has no friends at all?
My best friend of over 2 years and I just recently stopped speaking and the reasons why make me sad. We have worked together the entirety of our friendship...he received a promotion and disappeared from my life. And no, I am not imagining it...he will walk past me in the hallway and not speak, he stopped returning calls and texts ages ago, he walks out for his smoke break with other coworkers and they stand far away from me. Needless to say, this is painful and somehow very humiliating. I feel like the girl on the playground that no one wants to play with. I found out today that he and another girl from work now go and work out at the gym in his apartment every day after work...he and I had been doing that all year. And for some reason, it just really hit me...and I cried (not in front of anyone, never).
Thing is...if I'm honest, I'm better off. He was never a very trustworthy, loyal person (to anyone). He is very bad about backstabbing and gossip, he cheats on his boyfriend, he will be someone's friend to their face and then completely dog them out when they aren't around. Sounds like a bad person, right? Thing is...I accepted his flaws and he accepted mine and we always had a lot of fun together and could relate to each other. I always kept in mind that he probably wouldn't have my back all the time and it hurt, but I guess I thought part of being a good friend to him was showing him loyalty..? Anyway...even knowing all these bad qualities about him, I still feel rejected and discarded and like...it's me. There is something wrong with me. If there wasn't, he would still be my friend, right?
This was longer than it should have been and I hope you guys aren't getting sick of my posts...I just don't know how to sincerely move on without either holding a grudge or holding out hope that we will be friends again someday...how pathetic...